Originally Posted by SquadLeader
Started out as 'just for fun' but who doesn't want to get some gigs done to see how they go :-))
I do think there are problems...but frankly maybe the problem is mine rather than their's.
I think I need to take it up with them and find out what the score is.
The wife thing...it's interesting to hear a different perspective...for me it just doesn't feel right but perhaps it more the 'norm' than maybe it once might have been.
I'm a miserable old traditionalist really...rehearsal is band time....end of (I've always thought). Can't have frank exchanges of views on musical issues when some blokes cat is waiting to pounce on your for pointing a finger at her hubby...
But your post makes me think perhaps I'm a bit misguided and need to stop being such a fossil
I'm not saying it should always be that way. If a band mate's wife / girlfriend is causing problems, then it needs to be discussed. But if the other band mates incourage it, then maybe you're just playing with the wrong group. If you aren't comfortable, you aren't comfortable.
I once had a fall out with a band I played with, because we had a singer, and I didn't like his attitude. So I talked it over with the band and they told me to give him another chance, and if it continues to be a problem, they'll talk to him. Well, the problem continued, and they talked to him, but nothing changed. So I told them I would play with them until they scored a new drummer.
Of course, they were offended, and made it look like I was just being a jerk, but this guy really just got under my skin.
Sometimes there is no way around hurting someone's feelings. But if they really want you to play with them, they'll work something out.