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-   -   What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer? (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=96724)

Shild 10-26-2012 12:14 AM

What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
This is a question that's a bit hard to ask but have you learned anything from being a drummer where bands that want you are basically very abundant as opposed to guitarist? I mean have you learned about what kind of guitarist stands out from the masses?

I went from the very needy world of guitarist to the in demand world of being a drummer by spending several hundred bucks and a bunch of hours practice time. But I still have a very needy problem. In the online dating world womens profiles get tons of guys messaging them while guys profiles get almost nothing even when they are very well written and have great pics. I'm sure some of you will say "The message is clear cut, spend several thousand dollars and a bunch of hours to get a sex change". Problem is I'm not gay and doing so would be a major sin!

So have any of you guys learned about who succeeds in a low demand world by being in a high demand world?

PDL 10-26-2012 12:45 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
No because I won't play any old music, so my choice of bands is very limited even though I'm a drummer. So referring to your sex similee analogy thing I only like redheads

Pocket-full-of-gold 10-26-2012 01:09 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
I'm guessing real the crux of this thread is less to do with drumming and more to do with the fact that you can't get laid, yeah? Forget the online angle and try the real world for a bit. Go to a bar, talk to a girl, buy her a drink. Guys have suceeded in picking up birds face to face for millions of years prior to the internet.

BYUDOG 10-26-2012 01:23 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Im married so...... Internet dating was not a big thing when we hooked up. I think i would rather meet women in person. Also women will always have the upper hand in dating. They control the cards. They have more demand. Always will.

Bo Eder 10-26-2012 04:03 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
But you absolutely should not let your neediness show. Good luck!

Anon La Ply 10-26-2012 06:24 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Metal and hard rock drummers are in demand. If you like playing laid back and you don't have jazz technique, there's no demand. Most acts prefer to use drum machines in those situations.

It's not always wonderful to be on a dating site and wade through dozens of messages from lying dodgies looking for a quick root and who clearly haven't read your profile. Essentially, most messages I get translate to this: Dear Orifice Owner ... I wish to obtain access to your orifice/s. I hope you're naive enough to allow me this pleasure with zero effort made on my part towards you. You can trust me to do the right thing, just as fifteen other women have done earlier in the year.

Bo Eder 10-26-2012 06:45 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anon La Ply (Post 1061791)
: Dear Orifice Owner ... I wish to obtain access to your orifice/s. I hope you're naive enough to allow me this pleasure with zero effort made on my part towards you. You can trust me to do the right thing, just as fifteen other women have done earlier in the year.

Is that all that needs to be said? Why didn't you say so? Things would be so much more efficient ;)

bermuda 10-26-2012 07:00 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
5A. I use 5A sticks.

Bermuda

Pocket-full-of-gold 10-26-2012 07:05 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bermuda (Post 1061807)
5A. I use 5A sticks.

Bermuda

5A's come across as a little needy on your dating profile, don't you think?

Anon La Ply 10-26-2012 07:08 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bo Eder (Post 1061801)
Is that all that needs to be said? Why didn't you say so? Things would be so much more efficient ;)

Yep Bo, if you want to avoid being hemmed in by the complexities of clever chicks then that's how to do it!

I go through phases of neediness and not worrying. I found out a very interesting thing recently - the less nicotine I have, the more I worry about being single. The body's neediness affected my mind to behave in the same way - to be drawn to unresolved areas in my life. It's my body's way of telling me that there is an unresolved issue it would like to address (ie. lack of nicotine).

Nicotine addiction - the ultimate in neediness. A gigantic head trip - you have to constantly step back so you can laugh at it rather than let it get to you. It all just comes down to chemicals ...

PS. Some claim to be 5As when they're really 7Bs ... no no, please don't ban me!! :)

Bo Eder 10-26-2012 08:35 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
This thread can so go NC-17.......

Anon La Ply 10-26-2012 10:06 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Indeed, I'll step back at this stage. I've done enough damage lol

keep it simple 10-26-2012 10:57 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anon La Ply (Post 1061791)
Dear Orifice Owner ... I wish to obtain access to your orifice/s. I hope you're naive enough to allow me this pleasure with zero effort made on my part towards you. You can trust me to do the right thing, just as fifteen other women have done earlier in the year.

Haha - classic Pol-esque post :) The 7b comment could risk your status here however. I'm just imagining when the testosterone kicks in, guys will be claiming marching appendages, and all manner of large beaters/mallets, etc.

Dre25 10-26-2012 06:15 PM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
I'll bite.

My opinion: Online dating is depressing and fairly useless.

The ratio of men to women is 10,000:1, you get knocked back by chicks you wouldn't look twice at in the street... you waste your time chatting about absolutely nothing to either be removed/blocked/ignored or to go and meet them and they're disappointingly fat/ugly compared to their pictures... not that looks is my focus but I'm almost always misled. And there are thousands of chicks out there just looking to have their ego stroked, stringing lonely guys along. Their profiles all say the same shit.

I've met some okay chicks and it has gotten me laid a bit but honestly the effort you have to go to just to meet the person and see what they're like is just too much.

I say go and get rejected in real life, it's more fun. But seriously your chances are much better if you go out into the world and just be human.

larryz 10-26-2012 11:22 PM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anon La Ply (Post 1061791)
Metal and hard rock drummers are in demand. If you like playing laid back and you don't have jazz technique, there's no demand. Most acts prefer to use drum machines in those situations.

It's not always wonderful to be on a dating site and wade through dozens of messages from lying dodgies looking for a quick root and who clearly haven't read your profile. Essentially, most messages I get translate to this: Dear Orifice Owner ... I wish to obtain access to your orifice/s. I hope you're naive enough to allow me this pleasure with zero effort made on my part towards you. You can trust me to do the right thing, just as fifteen other women have done earlier in the year.

This response is an instant classic! Haha! Love the phrases ... "quick root"? Never heard that one..

Mad About Drums 10-27-2012 12:52 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Anon La Ply (Post 1061791)
Dear Orifice Owner ... I wish to obtain access to your orifice/s. I hope you're naive enough to allow me this pleasure with zero effort made on my part towards you. You can trust me to do the right thing, just as fifteen other women have done earlier in the year.

Oh dear...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anon La Ply (Post 1061811)
PS. Some claim to be 5As when they're really 7Bs ...

Haha... love it :)

... err, I practice with Vic Firth SD1.... but I play for real with Vic Firth SD9, however, I'm more a Vic Firth's Peter Erskine signature stick type of guy :)

Pocket-full-of-gold 10-27-2012 01:06 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by larryz (Post 1062002)
This response is an instant classic! Haha! Love the phrases ... "quick root"? Never heard that one..

The sole reason why Aussies "barrack" for their sporting teams......we never "root" for them like Americans do.

opentune 10-27-2012 01:21 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
I'm sure many here would advocate getting some drums but not getting a sex change to satisfy any "neediness". But neither of those, nor being gay, qualifies as a "major sin".... if there is such a thing. Go out, see the world.

opentune 10-27-2012 01:25 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dre25 (Post 1061926)

I say go and get rejected in real life, it's more fun. But seriously your chances are much better if you go out into the world and just be human.

THIS is great. Best post of the day!

Pocket-full-of-gold 10-27-2012 01:37 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by opentune (Post 1062050)
"major sin".... if there is such a thing.

I've worked my way though most of them......there'd better not be. I'm totally screwed if there is.

Anon La Ply 10-27-2012 01:55 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
We can talk about heavy sticks and rooting all day ... but in the end Shild is talking about "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" - going to a high demand area.

If I stuck with keys I might have become a more in demand musician but ... all those little keys, and if you miss them by just 1/2" it's a major screwup. You can't just whale away as you can with drums.

Demand only matters if money is an issue. Otherwise we're better off just being ourselves and doing what comes naturally. To do otherwise would be a sin ;-)

DrumEatDrum 10-27-2012 05:45 AM

Re: What have you learned about neediness while being a drummer?
 
Join a band.

Play lots of gigs.

You'll meet a ton of women.

Of course, they'll all ignore you because they want to date the singer, but you'll at least meet them all along the way.


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