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-   -   Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=73656)

Jim Mattingly 03-18-2011 05:25 PM

Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
I swear to god I have been through more drama in a band than I have in 23 years of wedded bliss and raising a teenage daughter....Just making a statement I am sure most if not all of you have experienced...WILL IT EVER END !!!! ???? Doubtful...How frickin unproductive...Word to the wise young guns, stay away from it if at all possible but don't just put up with it either and most definitely do not be the cause of it...Not even going to get into the latest escapade...Diva want to be rock stars, ughhhhhh.....Just needed to vent, thanks....

DrumEatDrum 03-18-2011 06:29 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Oh boy, I can relate.

A big reason why I'm not in any full time active bands right now.

PQleyR 03-18-2011 08:23 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
It makes a good manager of you if you stick with it.

Bo Eder 03-18-2011 08:42 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
That's why I pay people. It makes me the boss and head dictator. Alot less headaches that way. Good luck!

inneedofgrace 03-19-2011 05:18 AM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Sometimes it feels like I'm sitting in a chair next to the pyschiatrist's couch as opposed to my drum throne. I should hang a sign on my drums that says THE DOCTOR IS IN.

Jim Mattingly 03-19-2011 01:17 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
And yet the saga continues on my end, thankfully I am in 2 separate projects with literally no drama in the main project. Why can't we all just get along,,,,,waaaaa. I thought the keyboard player was going to cry talking with him over the phone last night. I believe I will start charging, very soon and very much. As my wife sits back laughing her butt off...Man...Good luck to us all....

Jim Mattingly 03-19-2011 01:19 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bo Eder (Post 815970)
That's why I pay people. It makes me the boss and head dictator. Alot less headaches that way. Good luck!

I totally wish I was in your shoes, great way to get things accomplished I would have to believe, maybe one day.....

Jim Mattingly 03-19-2011 01:23 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PQleyR (Post 815959)
It makes a good manager of you if you stick with it.

Very true statement, depending on the situation and the individuals involved it is best to try and hang tough. However, certain situations such as drug or alcohol abuse, constantly blowing off rehearsals etc.. do not warrant the effort.

Jim Mattingly 03-19-2011 01:24 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by inneedofgrace (Post 816162)
Sometimes it feels like I'm sitting in a chair next to the pyschiatrist's couch as opposed to my drum throne. I should hang a sign on my drums that says THE DOCTOR IS IN.

Amen to that brother....

Jim Mattingly 03-19-2011 01:26 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DrumEatDrum (Post 815915)
Oh boy, I can relate.

A big reason why I'm not in any full time active bands right now.

Hang in there and keep the faith, it will happen....

GRUNTERSDAD 03-19-2011 03:31 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
The sign you need is this,
"Leave your attitude at the door.
You are not going to be a rock star.
Now let's have some fun."

Pkaneps 03-19-2011 04:07 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
My last band broke up because of drama between my singer and my guitarist+his fiancee. (There were some other reasons too) I'm stuck in the middle listening to both of them. By the time my singer asked me if we should play our last show I agreed so quickly I think it offended him.

Jim Mattingly 03-19-2011 04:16 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GRUNTERSDAD (Post 816272)
The sign you need is this,
"Leave your attitude at the door.
You are not going to be a rock star.
Now let's have some fun."

Funny you should mention the sign thing. I actually had two signs I printed out from a huge label maker at work, one read "No Egos Past This Point" and the other read No Egos Allowed, We Are Playing Music, Not Working, Let's Have Fun, or something to that effect. I had pics of both of them but cannot find them, they are actually still there, I will take some pics of them and post it to this thread. It's funny though, because in the bands I was in back in the Washington, D.C. area I cannot remember ever having any huge band drama issues, it seems to be pretty much an accepted practice around the Grand Rapids, Michigan area.

Jim Mattingly 03-30-2011 06:07 AM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
2 Attachment(s)
Here are the pics of the signs I had going into the old practice room and one in the practice room. Finally just ended the drama in the one band, we have opted to call it quits, what a waste of time again, thank god it was the second project and not the main band, we only played out about a half dozen times so not a great loss, glad it is over for now.....

nhzoso 03-30-2011 11:48 AM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Pretty cool Jim (except for the Redskins stuff, Pats fan here : ).. Going through main band drama now myself and of course both are privately e-mailing me about the other one. LOL

Main problem is the rhythym guitar does not think the lead is a good enough singer and I kind of agree with him but not sure how to tell the lead without offending him. I will figure something out.

Pollyanna 03-30-2011 12:08 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
It's hard enough for a couple to stay on the same page, let alone four of five people.

You need empathy, tact, patience, humour and the ability to compromise with good grace ... and so does the rest of the band to deal with you :)

makinao 03-30-2011 01:35 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pkaneps (Post 816287)
My last band broke up because of drama between my singer and my guitarist+his fiancee.

Was your band Spinal Tap???

:-)

Hellwyck 03-30-2011 01:39 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
I play heavy metal in a band with likeminded people.
All we wanna do is thrash out and have a good time... No drama.

PQleyR 03-30-2011 03:11 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
The main band I'm in has systematically replaced everybody in it except for the lead guitarist, who is also founder member and main songwriter by a long way. There are six of us. Each member has been replaced by someone who was a better musician and had a more professional attitude, but it's taken years to do. The more you do it, the easier it gets. It's very good if personal relationships can be taken as a seperate thing...i.e., just because you're not in the band doesn't mean you're fired as a friend too.

Jim Mattingly 04-01-2011 05:15 AM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by nhzoso (Post 820830)
Pretty cool Jim (except for the Redskins stuff, Pats fan here : ).. Going through main band drama now myself and of course both are privately e-mailing me about the other one. LOL

Main problem is the rhythym guitar does not think the lead is a good enough singer and I kind of agree with him but not sure how to tell the lead without offending him. I will figure something out.

Does New England still have a football team ?? Ha ha...I have to admit that being from the D.C. area I am and have been a die hard Sox fan all my life and have always caught hell for it, and I have obviously always hated them Yanks...

Hopefully you get through the drama stuff unscathed, it does get very old, very quick and I can appreciate being the middle man also...you just want to try and keep the peace and keep it together, very hard sometimes, good ---GO SOX !!!

DrumEatDrum 04-01-2011 05:34 AM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim Mattingly (Post 816251)
Hang in there and keep the faith, it will happen....

hehe...

I've been in plenty of bands over the years. Faith came and left 10 years ago.

I can't complain (too much), I had many adventures during my run.

DrumEatDrum 04-01-2011 05:37 AM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pollyanna (Post 820833)
It's hard enough for a couple to stay on the same page, let alone four of five people.

You need empathy, tact, patience, humour and the ability to compromise with good grace ... and so does the rest of the band to deal with you :)

As I used to say, being in a band is like being married to 3 (or4) other people, but you don't have sex with any of them.

I found smaller bands (i.e. less number of members) greatly reduces drama and discontent. However, when something does go wrong, then you're out of a major chunk of your band.

aaajn 04-01-2011 12:48 PM

Re: Band Drama-Will It Ever End-Just Sayin
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by makinao (Post 820863)
Was your band Spinal Tap???

:-)

The Beatles :-)

Couldn't resist. But if the band is struggling, at least it's a band, not always a bad problem to have.


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