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-   -   Should I be upset?? (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=58219)

nhzoso 02-01-2010 03:24 PM

Should I be upset??
My band usually practices in my basement mon and thurs nights for about 3 hours after a long day of work. Me and the Lead have been wanting to get off of mon nights because it's too tiring. Probelm is the Bassist cannot do tues nights and the rhythm cannot do wed nights and no one want to do friday night (except me) The Bassist also cannot do any time on any weekend?

My wife also would rather we do not do mon. nights and she has been great in not complaining when we do it now but she mentioned it to me.

So last week after practice I said we cannot do anymore mondays at my place, of course we could not come up with a 2nd day to get together so without batting an eye the other 3 guys start planning a time to get together on monday nights at the leads house? Of course I am not gonna tear my kit down and go over his house every monday but I am kinda pissed that they did that. Almost like they just have me in the band because I have a good place to practice.

Should I be upset here or what? I almost felt like telling them to grab their stuff and not come back but I bit my tongue and am trying to give myself time to think about it.

We are all kind of upset that the bassist can't do a friggin weekend day once a month for 3-4 hours, I mean how does he expect to play out which is our goal, he says he will make exceptions for gigs but I don't know if I believe that fully. We are supposed to play an open mic on the 14th, maybe we will see how that goes.

Also I bought a beater bass guitar to noodle around with, I know nothing of it yet but the bassist seemed kinda put off by it or threatened, when I said well what other day can you do he said none but monday, and then said if you guys want to get together I guess you could play the bass?? WTF. I think I am more upset with the fact that I let it all go without saying anything (which is unlike me). Maybe I will bring it up this thursday. Any thoughts am I wrong here?

harryconway 02-02-2010 05:32 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
Hold off on anything too drastic, until after the 14th. That's not so far away.
Plenty of "rehearsal" time I have spent, not "rehearsing" anything, but sitting behind my kit, listening to either guitarist teach the other guitarist and bass player a song. If your band has that going on, make that your day not to be there. They learn songs on their time, not yours.

DrumEatDrum 02-02-2010 05:52 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
I don't much see the issue.

The band practices at your place on Monday.

You just said they can't practice at your place on Monday.

So they found an alternative place to practice on Mondays.

Sounds like a pretty clear solution to a problem you presented them with.

If you're going to put your foot down about not practicing on Mondays, you can't be mad that someone else won't practice on another day.

Granted, if the band has goals, everyone should be open to obtaining those goals. But you feeling like Mondays is too much is just as much of a blockade to that goal as anyone's opposition to any other day.

Now, as for the bassist getting bent over you buying a bass, well, he needs to grow up.

DSCRAPRE 02-02-2010 06:22 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
It seems like your only (rehearsal) problem is the kit transportation thing. You have to be sorta flexible as well. You may need to (gasp) downsize. I know, it's horrible to hear anyone suggest that but, you may need to at least consider it. As far as your bassist goes, my advice would be to try to explain to him that you want to gain a better understanding of bass so that you know how to play drums in a way that is most conductive to locking in a solid bass groove, or some other lie. I hate it when people think like that. If you liked playing bass so much, then why are you playing drums in the band? Can't people accept that some people like playing more than one instrument?

*edit* I saw your kit, yeah not much downsizing can be done. So your main issue still stands. Sorry.

crdirtRider856 02-02-2010 08:32 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
No... you should not be upset, but I can easily see why you might be. As a drummer, it can be very convenient to have the band come to your house. Your drums are set up, they bring their guitars, plug in, and hit the switch to turn on. Its not as easy to move your set from here to there and back to here- just to do it again next week.

It seems they havent considered how much is involved when you practice at 2 different places but still want to keep a 2-day a week schedule... You cant be upset at that.

The bassist needs to give a little, as far as commitment.... but so should you. If you want to keep it rolling, you gotta work through these inconveniences..... I wouldnt go doing anything like blowing em off and taking it as personal as you may have. If it works out- be thankful that it does... but this is definitely no reason to be negative towards the band....

Pollyanna 02-02-2010 08:49 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
What about playing in your basement every second, third or fourth Monday? The more you play at your place, the less lugging you need to do. DSCRAPRE's suggestion about downsizing the kit when practising elsewhere seems like a sensible compromise.

Also, bands can get a fair bit done without a drummer. They can turn up next time there's a full practice with their lines worked out better because they can hear themselves more clearly without us.

No offence, nhzoso, but your bassist sounds like a liability. He can't play on weekends, has an attitude, and is weak enough to be threatened by a noob bassist (you).

On the basis of what you've said it would seem that upgrading in the bass dept would solve a number of probs all at once. Not good when there's bad vibes between bass and drums since that's supposed to be a musical marriage. Of course, personal dynamics in the band might preclude that option at the moment but that's how it looks to an outsider.

rogue_drummer 02-02-2010 06:04 PM

Re: Should I be upset??
Sounds like you have a pretty good thing going on with these bandmates. It's a gripe to be sure, but you went into drumming knowing it's a pain to break the kit down and transport it, set up, etc. And it's a pain in the arse to move it, etc. And really frustrating when nobody helps you load in and out. Maybe downsize the kit when you have to transport? Whenever I play out and a house kit is provided and I only have to bring my sticks, I try and help out my bandmates move their gear. It's a tradeoff.

But you are not alone. Drummers throughout history have dealt with this issue. Transporting the kit, set up, take down, load out, etc., etc., etc.

Hang in there! Good luck!

mind_drummer 02-02-2010 07:02 PM

Re: Should I be upset??

Originally Posted by nhzoso (Post 659418)
... Of course I am not gonna tear my kit down and go over his house every monday

Sound like you'll need a cheap practice kit with OK hardware. Just move your cymbals & snare.

nhzoso 02-02-2010 11:28 PM

Re: Should I be upset??
Thanks for the input all. I guess I am over reacting a little bit especially when the lead told me in private that he hated mondays too then they plan to get together at his place on mondays...LOL

I have had time to think about it and I am getting what I want out of it so I will see how far we can go, my wife holds the same feelings towards the bass player Poly but I never realy saw it till the other day. In a sense I have been playing with him since I started playing drums 5 yrs ago and he is the one who recruited me but he does have issues and I guess we will find out his committment level soon enough.

Maybe I will get the courage to post a few of our mp3's that I recorded on here and you all can tell me what you think? Maybe : )

caddywumpus 02-02-2010 11:53 PM

Re: Should I be upset??
Being a professional musician myself, I possibly can see the bassist's point of view. Does he do nothing but music for a living? If so, it might just be true that he can't do any other night.

When I plan my schedule, commitments are set in stone. When I take on a new project (band rehearsal, gig, recording session, lesson, etc...), I have to schedule it in in order of priority, and in relation to everything else. If I have a regular rehearsal or lesson time, I try to schedule other commitments around those times. If I get a gig that can only happen during one of those times, it takes precedence over the rehearsal or lesson. Maybe your bass player has other commitments that a gig would take precedence over, but not another rehearsal...???

One of my bands has a regular rehearsal time that gets shifted around on a semi-annual basis, it seems. Opportunities come up for the members to take on a new job offer (teaching position, different hours at their current job, etc...) and they negotiate with everyone else for a new time slot. The problem with this is that the rest of us have already shifted the rest of OUR schedules to make rehearsal work, often times leaving no room for budging either before or after. It's tough, but it's just one of those things that a band has to work with, especially bands that have full-time musicians.

Ask yourself: Does your band *really* need more than one rehearsal a week? I'm on a strict diet of "one rehearsal per week per band", unless a band has a unique situation like a last-minute gig and new songs to learn for it. But, for the most part, one rehearsal a week isn't even necessary (unless the group is just starting out or learning new repertoire), but we still do it, just to keep the momentum of the group going...

zambizzi 02-03-2010 12:17 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
My band practices all the time without me (without drums entirely, not with another drummer)...sometimes 2x in a week. When my neighbor put an end to our practicing at my place, we didn't play together for nearly two months. In that time they had hashed out all kinds of great ideas and brought them by once I found a place for us to play.

Either you're a valued member of the band or you're not. If you find out that you're not, then it's better to move on now and quit wasting your time.

bog_72 02-03-2010 12:40 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
I may be way wrong,but it sounds like a bunch of guys who like to play,but are not willing to "Give" an inch to do it.

I dont want to start a conspiracy,because a band can be hard to get formed altogether,but you have a bass player,who wont play on weekends?
Thats not good.

Kinda like having a restaurant,that is only open monday through thursday.

also,if you cant practice at your pad anymore,and your also not willing to tear down the kit and jam elsewhere on monday...then to me it sounds like you guys have two musicians who dont really want to do it all that badly.

Maybe you just need to step back,and decide if you need a break,or get to tearing that set down,and also get to talking to that bass player about the importance of playing weekends,or get to finding someone who will.

The rest of the guys will get together with or without you,simply to continue getting tight.So dont take that too hard.if anything,take that time,to decide if your in it all the way or not.
Drummer in my old band,had to tear down a 10 piece set twice a week,and drive it out to a barn where we practiced,and you couldnt drive in,it was pretty well blocked with other stuff,so hed carry it all like 110 feet from his truck.
Just saying,if youre into it,youd walk the drums across town to do it.So maybe ya just need a little break.

Either way,good luck!!

Meat the beat 02-03-2010 12:55 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
Practicing at peoples houses.... never works in my experience. Get everyone to show a bit of commitment and hire somewhere where it doesn't matter what night or time you rehearse.

rogue_drummer 02-03-2010 01:10 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
Try to find a local bar or pub or "someplace" that will let you rehearse there weekly in exchange for doing a free show there once a month? Our band migrated from rehearsing at our lead's house to rehearsing at a sports bar once a week. In exchange for free room, we put on a show once a month or so and bring in a lot of drinkers. We're at least paying for the time and space, in bar receipts. And the patrons get to hear a free show. And usually we always have some people listening to us who have dropped by to see the band in their natural habitat.

Just some ideas to get you outta the house.

nhzoso 02-03-2010 02:17 AM

Re: Should I be upset??
No none of us are pro's we all have day time jobs,but the bassist says the weekends are for his kids. Which how can ya argue with that? We even said how about 1 sat. or sun. a month just about anytime and he still said no way.

We have been getting together 1-2 times week for about 8 month's and within the last 5 months or so decided to gig out. We only have about 22 songs (classic rock stuff) and have gone through about 3 lead singers for various reasons.

each time we lost a singer it set us back a month or so so we decided to do all the singing ourselves which i am not totally convinced sounds good but others who have heard us say it's not bad.. whatever that means.

Anyway I am still very much learning drums so I am gonna just keep going with these guys and see how it goes. In the meantime I have been thinking about auditioning for a band or 2 on craigslist. I have never done it and I would like to see how others who don't know me feel about my drumming.

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