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-   -   Did Your Parents Disaprove. (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56999)

sufc.loyal 12-30-2009 11:29 PM

Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents, would never allow me drums, let alone have any in the house.

So when i was 17 years, i done what all teenagers do.

I went against their parents words, no matter what they were, and bought a 4 peace Premier Olympic early 1970 drum kit.

The plan was to put them in the back of a van, and when everyone was in bed somehow sneak them into the garage, (then do what with them, dont know, i was a rebelious teenager).

The plan worked well untill, "silly nuts" droped a cymbal outside the house alerting every dog and my dad to my actions.

Was told in no uncertain terms, that i was welcome home whenever i wanted, so long as i did not have my newly aquired drums, and untill time i should F@*K off, with my drums of coarse.

Thats how i started.

TheGroceryman 12-30-2009 11:33 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
wow....what did you parents want you to do instead? smoke weed? jeez my parents practically begged me to start drums in 3rd grade cause my one big hobby was playing video games with my brother. Thank god my parents promoted active living.

Pocket-full-of-gold 12-30-2009 11:41 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
I'm lucky on that front. The old man is a drummer too......it was always actively encouraged. I'm sure 'snare drums in stereo' drove my mother spare though!!

sufc.loyal 12-30-2009 11:57 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.

Now i an all grown up, i have three boys, between the ages of 5 and 11, and they all enjoy playing my drums, mind you i have a set of Rolands for indoors, and make them wear ear phones when playing.

My dad, when he comes round, hears the noise, and smiles, with that, i told you so, sort of smile.

Years later i sort of know what he means.

caddywumpus 12-31-2009 12:18 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents absolutely disapproved! I got a drum set after telling my dad that I would only drum when nobody was in the house. It worked. I was happy, and they were *mostly* happy (drum sets take up a lot of space in your bedroom).

I am encouraging my kids (2 and 4) to play drums...and piano, and guitar, and to paint and color and draw and read and play games...I'm of the mindset that I'm not going to "push" anything on them, but rather make lots of options available and see what they cling to. Then, I'll encourage and push them to success in those ventures. I want them to grow up knowing that the more time/effort you put into things, the more you get back from it.

bobdadruma 12-31-2009 12:25 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
Yes, My parents didn't understand my drumming. My parents also hated the Beatles, Elvis, and anything that wasn't Frank Sinatra!
Because the drums are not a melodic instrument, Most people don't understand them.
It's hard to share your excitement after you have played your first proper perfectly balanced single stroke roll with someone that has no clue how great an achievement that it was for you. I can remember how disappointed I was when after weeks of practice, I showed my parents what I had learned and I could tell that they just didn't get it! They politely complimented me, but I realized that they didn't understand that I had mastered the single stroke roll!
Most people just plain don't get drumming! They don't see, feel, and hear the magic of rhythm. They take it for granted.

larryace 12-31-2009 12:28 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents got me a set when I was 12 not knowing what they were getting themselves into I think. I was always tapping, and my right leg wouldn't stop bouncing. I think my Dad deeply regrets his decision to get me a drum set. I think he may blame himself because that's when he "lost" me ha ha.

WayneWickman 12-31-2009 12:50 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents were great. I spent countless hours in my youth either playing to the stereo cranked or with headphones. Later when I joined a band they let us have the basement for practice. Thanks Mom and Dad!!

con struct 12-31-2009 12:51 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
It was my mother who convinced my father that I was born to be a drummer. My father hated it. I was doing poorly in school, hanging around with the wrong crowd and all that, but he relented and I found a guy who was selling his Ludwig drums and Zildjian cymbals for $200, which was a good hunk of money in the sixties, but it was still a great deal.

I really, really wish I still had those drums.

My father thought musicians were criminals, low-lifes.

He'd say, "If you spent as much time on your books as you do on your drums you'd be a straight-A student." He was probably right!

Eventually he'd actually come to see me play when he was on business trips, and he saw that I was not only supporting myself but had bought a car and was living an interesting life. Also, he saw that I was good at my job, and was impressed whenever I'd send my parents a record I'd played on. And I know he liked looking at all the girls.

Pollyanna 12-31-2009 01:15 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents, particularly Dad, were not impressed. I was supposed to learn piano and I now I regret knocking back piano lessons; it would have proved very handy for my drumming :)

PFOG, it always amazes me when people say their parents were highly supportive of their drumming. After I'd been playing for 10 years they finally came to a gig and then they were better about it. I think it surprised them to see people actually enjoying my playing - in stark contrast to them and my neighbours.

The poor buggers really paid their dues with me endlessly drumming along with Highway Star (despite sexist lyrics). We drummers sure incur a helluva karmic debt!

Pocket-full-of-gold 12-31-2009 01:27 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.

Originally Posted by Pollyanna (Post 647173)
PFOG, it always amazes me when people say their parents were highly supportive of their drumming. After I'd been playing for 10 years they finally came to a gig and then they were better about it. I think it surprised them to see people actually enjoying my playing - in stark contrast to them and my neighbours.

Yep.....no idea how they put up with it.......to add insult to injury, my youngest sister also took up the violin.......both instruments sound less than angelic in the hands of novices!! With the benefit of hindsight, I just wished I had've actually spent more time listening to my father's sage advice. Alas, I was a rebellious teenager who already knew everything........how does one teach an already wise 16yo??

larryace 12-31-2009 01:31 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
I encouraged it w/ my son because I knew where he was. It gave him something to focus on. Plus I really enjoyed tracking his musical journey. Parading in a bunch of other teenagers into my nice studio w/ all kinds of easily liftable gear was a worry at times, but luckily unfounded.

Big Foot 12-31-2009 02:00 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My Mom was cool about it because she didn't think it would last!! Sorry and thanks Mom!

Now my daughter plays and she's great - nice light touch. And my 2 sons (who play trumpet & bass) bang around on the drums every once and a while.

Needless to say, but my lovely wife is very patient ... and encouraging.

Pass.of.E.r.a. 12-31-2009 03:47 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents were hugely supportive, and I almost have trouble wrapping my head around how blessed I truly am.

Both my parents are musicians (Moms a keyboardist, and my Dad is an incredible Bass player) and so I didn't really have a chance. heh. now that I think of it, most of my extended family is musical too, so I'm sure that when I have kids they'll be super musical too :)

When I was 5-6 months old, my parents would bring me to church and they (actually only my Mom noticed, my Dad was on stage) noticed that not only was I watching the drummer very intently but I would imitate his actions with some straws. My interest in drumming was most evident when we were eating some time later, and i paused, took my fork and did a perfect rendition of the drummers stroke on a cymbal to get a nice *ting* sound out of my cup. We had a drumset anyways (i think it was an 90's Pearl midrange kit) so my pops took me downstairs and sat me on his lap behind the kit and let me go wild.

After a short while they bought me a miniature drumset (which I still have) and i would play typically for 6-7 hours a day (not rudiments or anything, keep in mind I was barely an infant; I couldn't grasp those concepts yet. as a matter of fact I couldn't count!!).

And here I am 16 Years later and needless to say my kit has expanded and grown with me.

So to answer your question sufc.loyal, no my parents did not disapprove. :)


nicotine25 12-31-2009 03:50 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents bought me my first set when I was 5. I used to bang on my uncles drums when we would go to their house for holidays and I think them getting me my own set was to provide peace for the rest of the family. At future family gatherings they would always say..."not here, you have your own drums to play on now" My folks were very supportative, but also wanted me to try other things as well. They knew I was interested in music and I played the violin and upright concert bass in orchestra, and the drums in jazz band. Eventhough I played different insturments the drums were always my one true love affair. I just regret not ever playing in concert band and getting the rudiments down. At the time I never understood nor wanted to play just ONE drum...I wanted to play the whole set...Anyways, thanks Mom and Dad!

Geri Attrique 12-31-2009 03:58 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
I had taken piano lessons since I was 8 years old and desparately wanted to be in the school band at age 9. I was not allowed to join as I was supposedly "too disruptive in class". Finally, in the 6th grade I was allowed...but showed up late to pick instruments. I either wanted sax or drums. All the saxophones were taken. I then asked for drums. I posted in the "introduce yourself" thread that I was not allowed to play drums in grade school band because (and I quote exactly), "Drums are not for girls. Pick something else." That arsehat of a teacher was not even an old geezer...he was in his 30s. Not that I am being ageist, but in 1985 that may have been more understandable with a teacher in his 50s or 60s. I ended up getting stuck with the Baritone (a mini-tuba). How that instrument is more feminine than drums, I will never understand. After two months I got out of it because my cousin gave me her old flute. I hated it, but it was light to carry and easy to play. Still, I was super jealous of all the drummers in band.

I never relayed the story to my family, but two years later, my younger sister also got in band and wanted to play drums. She was told the same thing by the same teacher. She did complain about it at home, but my mother said, "Good! We're no havin' that noisy racket in our hoose! I cannae stick all that banging!" (my attempt at typing a Scottish accent). Really, she should have called the school and defended her daughter's right to play.

Much to my happiness, that teacher was shortly thereafter fired for other reasons. Good!

Fast forward to a few months ago when I was looking at guitars at a music shop with a co-worker at lunch. I wandered up to the drum section and was itching to play. A music studio opened up near me with private lessons. Even though I have no kit, I decided, hell yes, time to learn drums! I have been renting practice time and also have practice pads at home, but may invest in a cheap electronic kit to play in my condo.

As for my folks...well over the holidays I mentioned that they always complain that they never hear from me and that I do not visit enough and how would they like that to change...yes, they would, but what's the catch (how can they read me so well)? Well, they have reluctantly agreed for me to store and play an acoustic kit in their basement crawl space. I cannot wait to buy one. I must say I am REALLY enjoying learning drums. I have been practising like mad every night and cannot wait to improve!

alparrott 12-31-2009 03:59 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
I had already started out on trumpet, sax, bass guitar and keyboards, so the horse was already out of the barn. However, I did all my chores and was considerate with my playing so as not to wake up people in the middle of the night. My mom said, "at least I know where he is".

Flash forward twenty years; I've been in several bands, the last one of which did two CDs with me; I played in musicals (I sent them the DVDs for Christmas one year), and I'm making money. My parents are thrilled and are looking forward to hearing my next project.

Skulmoski 12-31-2009 04:05 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
I picked great parents. Dad bought me a snare drum when I was six.I bought my first kit when I was 12. Then I bought a small kit of Ludwigs when I was 16 and built a monster kit piece by piece while I was living at home. I moved out after university. All the while my parents were supportive. I mostly practiced when they were out but not always. While they did not always like the "noise" I was at least at home learning a musical instrument.

Now that I am a parent, I better understand their sacrifices and good parenting. Thanks mom and dad!


eddiehimself 12-31-2009 02:36 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
I've been lucky really in that my parents have supported me in whatever i did. Honestly, it took most of 2007 to convince them to let me get a kit. But after threatening to buy my drummer some new hardware with my own money they finally came round to my way of thinking lol. They have got a bit annoyed from time to time but generally they're okay. To be fair i think i try to be reasonable in the way i do drumming not to get on too many people's nerves but at the end of the day you've just got to practice.

Nytak 12-31-2009 04:37 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
Parents disapproved, then wife disapproved.. So I went without until I finally put my foot down a couple months ago, bought a 7 piece and said 'deal with it'..

Thaard 12-31-2009 04:51 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
They did, and they still do. Doesnt bother me though..

ANIMALBEATS 12-31-2009 11:13 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
im allowed to play whenever i want exept after 10, but my dad did put his head round my bedroom door when i was little and said "you dont want to do that for a living" which i do...

DrumEatDrum 01-01-2010 01:01 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My mom was very supportive early on.

She signed me up for lessons, got me my first kit, and even helped me make my dream of going to PIT come true.

However, after that, she couldn't wrap her head around that I couldn't just go apply for a job as a drummer the same way an office worker could.

Once I started getting into the starving musician lifestyle, then the disapproval came in droves.

DSCRAPRE 01-01-2010 01:11 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents are awesome!

Both of them were in a band together and in that time I gravitated towards the drummer. so i asked for a kit for my sixth birthday and i received. It was a piece but I loved it. Now me and my Dad (Bass) jam frequently in our basement. It's awesome! We both suck but, it's still fun.

Cottontop 01-01-2010 01:14 AM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.

Originally Posted by Nytak (Post 647329)
Parents disapproved, then wife disapproved.. So I went without until I finally put my foot down a couple months ago, bought a 7 piece and said 'deal with it'..

I like the way you dealt with that haha

Big_Philly 01-03-2010 04:31 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
My parents noticed I had some rhythm skills, though I don't know how, and later decided to enroll me into a music school where I would be taught classical (orchestral) drumming, and later some drumste drumming. They sometimes worry that I don't spend enough time on my studies because I play too much (sometimes they were right), or that I spend too much money on it (yeah, sort of...). But they are proud that I am still an active musician - I had two brothers who played instruments who both quit.

mcbike 01-03-2010 10:40 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
my parents really tried to talk me out of it for two years before I started. I wouldn't give up the idea of DRUMS. My dad even took me to the music store one day and said I will buy you a guitar right now if you give up drums. I wouldn't so finally after 2 years they let me get a drumset. I could only practice when they were out of the house, but eventually my mom would let me practice when she was home.

I read a quote one time "behind every great drummer, is an equally great mother" This has to be true. I guess eventually they came around or at least my mom did, my mom sent me to lessons, and took me to buy my 2nd drumset.

My dad only came to see my play drums maybe 3 times when I was younger, and he's seen me 3 times in the past year since he has retired.

BassDriver 01-03-2010 11:38 PM

Re: Did Your Parents Disaprove.
Since I got my first drum kit my parents were really supportive although my grandmother would disapprove:

"Why don't you play violin like your grandfather?!"

To answer the question...my parents approved and thank goodness they did.


I was supposed to learn piano and I now I regret knocking back piano lessons; it would have proved very handy for my drumming :)
My drum teacher...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fB6vigWTR3k

...told me to buy a keyboard so it would help with my "musicality" (...and so I can learn some keyboard basics), I have one now and I think it is a good idea since I saw my drum teacher bring in the vibes one lesson.

...yes, it does help...

Learning the vibes (ofcourse you have to know keyboard stuff first) helps with precision in drumming, because you have to hit the keys precisely in the right spot (for optimum resonance) with the mallet.

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