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-   -   Having a little problem....uh oh (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44306)

darkstar442 11-20-2008 11:32 PM

Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Ok this doesnt have to do with drums. i have had this problem all my life but now its getting harder and harder to control. i have a very very bad anger problem. i havnt let it out in about 3 years and i wasnt close to being my angriest when it happend. my friend got me mad so i really dont remember doing it but i picked him up off the ground by the neck(he is bigger than me) and threw him down. when i get angry i really dont feel pain and half the time i dont realize what im doing. its just getting really hard to stop my anger from coming out. im getting mad a lot easier to. not many people know about this problem not even my parents or brother. im just wondering what to do. i also have depression. its not very bad now but i used to have suicidle thoughts(thank god i dont anymore). but ill sometimes just sit in my room for a long time. few people know i have this too, my parents dont. i just need advise as you can tell

Ian Williams 11-21-2008 01:02 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Hello, mate.

My suggestion is to channel or manage your anger into your drums, it will be the best therapy, play your favourite song or drum solo until you feel relief and distressed.

All the Best & take care,

ExPLiciT 11-21-2008 06:00 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
seriously man you need to tell someone, you know that you have a problem and its good that you know that. go to a therapist. figure out how to control this anger. try different calming exercises. ex/ meditation, yoga etc. those may help these may not but you need to tell someone before something happens. dont feel scared to tell someone its obviously not your fault. it may be biological, genetics, a disease, but you will never know unless you see someone about it. my honest opinion is see a doctor, therapist or someone with training to help you.

as iwilliams said channel that anger somewhere if you can. it doesn't need to be drums or even music for that matter, just find something that is calming to you and explore that.

as for the depression: see a doctor, get some anti-depressants

aydee 11-21-2008 07:25 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by darkstar442 (Post 504069)
Ok this doesnt have to do with drums. i have had this problem all my life but now its getting harder and harder to control. i have a very very bad anger problem. i havnt let it out in about 3 years and i wasnt close to being my angriest when it happend. my friend got me mad so i really dont remember doing it but i picked him up off the ground by the neck(he is bigger than me) and threw him down. when i get angry i really dont feel pain and half the time i dont realize what im doing. its just getting really hard to stop my anger from coming out. im getting mad a lot easier to. not many people know about this problem not even my parents or brother. im just wondering what to do. i also have depression. its not very bad now but i used to have suicidle thoughts(thank god i dont anymore). but ill sometimes just sit in my room for a long time. few people know i have this too, my parents dont. i just need advise as you can tell

Bud, I know what you are going through so please go get professional help ASAP. Not knowing how angry you can get is not safe, and you really don't want to find out too late either.
Do it.

Wavelength 11-21-2008 07:36 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Go see a therapist.

crdirtRider856 11-21-2008 08:38 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
I d suggest to sit down, when you re feeling chilled out, reflect on things that have happened, what caused them to happen, and what you did when you realized that it was seeming a little "out of the ordinary". Make a list or a mental note of it..

Follow me? OK... I gather that you didnt realize what you were doing till it was already happening..And I take it you dont want to hurt anyone and the fact that you mentioned this to a bunch of drummers that you dont know says that you re asking for more than advice. ..

If you cant talk to your parents then find someone that can hook you up with a person that can kinda explain to you what might be goin on. Hell, lie to your parents and maybe say that you dont feel good and when you get to the Dr. tell him whats goin on. He might be able to help you figure some shit out, know what I mean?

If you need help, dont hesitate to get it. We re just a bunch of people that play drums and happen to have found a great site to talk with other people that play drums. Trust me, I ve been through some shit and this isnt the place to get help, I love it here, but you need something better than this. Good luck man, talk to someone close. Maybe your brother first?

eddiehimself 11-21-2008 11:11 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by crdirtRider856 (Post 504285)
If you need help, dont hesitate to get it. We re just a bunch of people that play drums and happen to have found a great site to talk with other people that play drums. Trust me, I ve been through some shit and this isnt the place to get help, I love it here, but you need something better than this. Good luck man, talk to someone close. Maybe your brother first?

I agree when i'm not arguing with my sister i usually like to talk to her about problems.

Go see a psychologist, the hardest thing you'll ever have to face as a man (assuming you are a man, if not then sorry) is getting help. That's why men die before women on average. You'll feel much better once you do.

Mediocrefunkybeat 11-21-2008 01:06 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
MFB had a couple of years of anger management and he also had counselling for various other things a year or two after that. I would suggest exploring these channels.

darknessdude16 11-21-2008 02:17 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Hey,

The advice that everyone is saying about going to see someone will help, you'll be so relieved after your first session that you can just talk about it out loud. I bet you already felt better after just typing out what you've told us.

I really do suggest you tell your folks, this too will help to lift the burden. Do you write a diary? If not then you should, its such a cliché but it really works, its just channeling your anger out in a different form

Hope it all gets better for you,

Yours

Adam

larryace 11-21-2008 04:20 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Why are you angry? If you identify the source of the problem, the course of action usually makes itself clear.
If it's a chemical imbalance, then you probably can't answer the question and you may need meds.
If you can answer the question without any doubts, that would be helpful to you in understanding your anger and learning to recognize when it's triggered. You'll need to somehow learn to not be taken hostage by your automatic responses, and detach yourself from the anger.

LeeLovesSabian 11-21-2008 08:32 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by iwilliams (Post 504110)
Hello, mate.

My suggestion is to channel or manage your anger into your drums, it will be the best therapy, play your favourite song or drum solo until you feel relief and distressed.

All the Best & take care,

Good Advice.
Seek help if needed.

Muffled Tom 11-21-2008 09:24 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
I think this situation calls for expert advice. I deal with depression, but I'm glad to say that mine is only very light, and I've never had suicidal thoughts... drumming seems to help a lot of time for me (although sometimes it just makes things worse, because every once in a while I'll feel I suck at drumming too and then I just get more discouraged). But I don't know about your case, it seems a bit more extreme. You need to talk to someone who knows about these things in depth and how to solve them, and the internet isn't the right place to look for one of those poeple I'm afraid to say.

Mastershake16 11-21-2008 09:42 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
As others have said i would suggest therapy, i went to a therapist it was really good it helped a whole lot but make sure you can get along with your therapist (<--very important)

Construct 11-21-2008 10:04 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Chill out, play some Dead Can Dance, get some Management class in your schedule, and try to take on a more positive perspective.

darkstar442 11-21-2008 10:18 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
i really dont know what causess it. i refuse to take meds a coulple of my friends took them for depression and i dont want to explain the rest. monica smp all the way haha unfortunatly thats about the only time im not mad at all. i do constantly listen to death metal but if i try to listen to anything else it gets me mad i dont know why, infact death metal can calm me but it never gets me very angry. when i get depress i hold it back and it turns into anger. i know i shouldnt ask here or on the internet but i just have trouble talking to anyone about so just talking here helped if that makes sence.

Joe P 11-21-2008 11:28 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
I second the therapist. It might not seem like it would help that much to talk to someone, but psychologically it works wonders!

Paul Quin 11-21-2008 11:43 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Darkstar:

seek professional help and under no circumstances self medicate. There is a variety of advice on this thread - ignore it all unless it is written by a professional or unless it tells you to go seek professional help. These are problems which plague many of us and, once acknowledged, need to be acted upon. You have taken therfirst step by stating your problem on these pages - now, go see someone who can help.

May you find peace my drumming brother!

Paul

crdirtRider856 11-22-2008 12:55 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul Quin (Post 504603)
Darkstar:

seek professional help and under no circumstances self medicate. There is a variety of advice on this thread - ignore it all unless it is written by a professional or unless it tells you to go seek professional help. These are problems which plague many of us and, once acknowledged, need to be acted upon. You have taken therfirst step by stating your problem on these pages - now, go see someone who can help.

May you find peace my drumming brother!

Paul

I agree with this...and please! lay off the pot....it might chill you out for now, but it ll only compound the underlying issues you have going on. I thought that it was a help, and after 17/18+ yrs of escaping the problems by drowning them out I realize now that I probably(definitely) made the wrong decision. Now I m 30 and finally walking outta the "fog"... And its not too cool....Take this with a grain of salt, whatever that means---or just do what you gotta do. Good luck either way though

John Sharples 11-24-2008 11:52 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Darkstar
You made some good friends here today and we care about you. Go get the help and let us know how your doing.

Mystic 11-25-2008 01:38 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eddiehimself (Post 504311)
I agree when i'm not arguing with my sister i usually like to talk to her about problems.

Go see a psychologist, the hardest thing you'll ever have to face as a man (assuming you are a man, if not then sorry) is getting help. That's why men die before women on average. You'll feel much better once you do.

That was my case until she died this summer do to a freak accident :'(

Ironcobra 11-25-2008 02:07 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
I have the same problem, I have a few holes in the walls from my fits. I still get these fits every once and a while but I've found ways to deal with them...

1. Eat like you're preparing for the Olympics. You will be surprised how far a great diet can go. I used to always be mad, just about everything, once I started eating great and cut out the junk completely, I started naturally feeling happy and chilled out.

2. Run, run like Rocky, especially when you're mad. Look how far its gone with me ^^^^^^^

If there is something that is bothering you deep down, you need to get help, but if it's just anger, you can probably control it yourself with some hard work.

eddiehimself 11-25-2008 01:55 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mystic (Post 505818)
That was my case until she died this summer do to a freak accident :'(

that's awful mate :( my dad's sister died when he was the same age as me.

ZootELoops 11-25-2008 03:07 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by darkstar442 (Post 504069)
Ok this doesnt have to do with drums. i have had this problem all my life but now its getting harder and harder to control. i have a very very bad anger problem. i havnt let it out in about 3 years and i wasnt close to being my angriest when it happend. my friend got me mad so i really dont remember doing it but i picked him up off the ground by the neck(he is bigger than me) and threw him down. when i get angry i really dont feel pain and half the time i dont realize what im doing. its just getting really hard to stop my anger from coming out. im getting mad a lot easier to. not many people know about this problem not even my parents or brother. im just wondering what to do. i also have depression. its not very bad now but i used to have suicidle thoughts(thank god i dont anymore). but ill sometimes just sit in my room for a long time. few people know i have this too, my parents dont. i just need advise as you can tell

Go get help dude. It's not normal and you should talk to a professional about it. It's not gonna get better as you get older and you could seriously hurt someone (or yourself).

lewisn27 11-25-2008 07:06 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Get a punch bag, it stops you from puncing walls and doors, I still do..

Mystic 11-26-2008 05:01 AM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eddiehimself (Post 505967)
that's awful mate :( my dad's sister died when he was the same age as me.

Yea I honestly feel that the old me died, I don't do anything the same anymore almost like I don't care about life anymore or searching for death, but I won't take my own life.

jonescrusher 11-26-2008 01:54 PM

Re: Having a little problem....uh oh
 
Difficult to know without information on anything elsoe going on in your life whether you're suffering a depression or simply going through the usual trials and tribulations of adolescence. Suicidal thoughts, moreover fantasies, actually aren't uncommon in teenagers, just be careful to note if you ever start fixating on them or start resolving to actually attempt. Having someone to talk to helps keeps things in perspective. I'd be wary of taking drugs, especially if you're doctor doesn't suggest any other non-drug treatments first.

Stop listening to death metal, stop slouching and take up a sport laddy!


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