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-   -   best way to drop a band memeber? (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43539)

bojangleman 10-29-2008 03:54 AM

best way to drop a band memeber?
 
well, we have voted and we are going to have to kick one of our members out...

what is the best way...

we are thinking him just show up to practice...and we'll all tell him then?

but then were like..lets make it funny..

"hey, were bringing our old band name back....and your still the lead guitarist...but were quitting"

or what way would you do it?

Alex

Muckster 10-29-2008 04:28 AM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
One you have decided to do this, be professional and straightforward. Don't wait until the next practice. Call a meeting and get it done. Let the person know why and you all are in unison. "you are not working out for us and we are going to carry on."

GRUNTERSDAD 10-29-2008 08:39 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Call him on the phone before he lugs his gear over to practice or go visit him and tell him in person. Do not wait for him to come over and embarrass him in front of the group. If he has gear at the rehersal spot, let him come for it when he is ready and not while the rest of the band is there to gawk.

bojangleman 10-30-2008 01:08 AM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
yeah..im just going to call a meeting tomorrow..

Harry - well, im gonna say im the leader, cause im the manager and i do all the stuff like set up gigs, schedule practices, and kinda has leadership in the band i guess.
but, the lead singer is kinda also...so, were both going to be there of course..so we'll tell him that way..

Alex

burnthehero 10-30-2008 05:56 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
There are several different ways of going about it, depending on his level of maturity and professionalism. I've kicked people out of bands and I've been kicked out of a couple myself. In all cases, I was professional about it so I expected the same from them.

The last group I was involved with decided to keep their old drummer because he better fit their style, which I completely understood. Me and one of the guys in the band went out for a drink one night and he casually explained the situation to me and that was that. If I was upset, it was because I now was back on my own again, which was a bitter-sweet thing.

If you think this guy is going to be really upset and fly off the handle, confront him as a group so that you're not shouldering all of it yourself.

drumbum1977 10-30-2008 09:37 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
get a meeting together....in person not the phone....and tell him straight up. Act with respect and you get respect back.

bojangleman 11-01-2008 06:50 AM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
haha...well...it didnt go too well...

he cussed me out later on which doesnt bother me at all...

his first words to me were, "you'll be lucky if i dont tackle you and kick your ass tomorrow"
i told him that it'd be the worst mistake he would ever make if he did that...which he didnt....so he's the lucky one..lol

but, he hates me right now..but he'll get over it.

thanks for all the advice!!!

Alex

Drumsword 11-03-2008 01:24 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
I find the best way to drop a band member is with a quick right, when they are off guard.

LOL, I'm sorry it didn't go well. But those things are sometimes needed as a wake up call. I'm not sure why you were axing him but I hope he learns from it.

I was only ever axed from one band. and it was over a disagreement with the manager over inviting several more members into a band that didn't need to be there. and I was told second hand by another band member. So I started my own band, and took the rythym guitarist with me, lol.

You did it the correct way man, and sometimes that takes some brass ones. You've earned my respect.

rmandelbaum 11-03-2008 02:25 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
At least you were up front, thats great. I have been in situations were people were sneaky and back stabbing. It is not the way to do it.

ZootELoops 11-03-2008 02:54 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by bojangleman (Post 495942)
his first words to me were, "you'll be lucky if i dont tackle you and kick your ass tomorrow"
i told him that it'd be the worst mistake he would ever make if he did that...which he didnt....so he's the lucky one..lol

Now that doesnt sound very Christian of him.

Muckster 11-03-2008 04:31 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Sounds like you were eventually going to have an altercation with him...good ridence!

eits1986 11-03-2008 07:16 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ZootELoops (Post 496706)
Now that doesnt sound very Christian of him.

lol... a hypocrite with religion? No way!

tbmills 11-03-2008 07:47 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
my guitarist moved to birmingham for the summer to work at GC. he is officially out of the band as of yesterday when he swindled my brother and i out of $225. he offered to get jackson some new pedals and me some new heads at cost. he got j one pedal but after having been fired (we went to GC and asked for him. the guy said, "chris? oh he got fired like three weeks ago for lying to customers." he still talks like we is working there), has yet to return the rest of the money. anytime were in tuscaloosa, he answers his phone promptly and is cooperative, but once he knows were in town his phone mysteriously goes dead. i want to find out where he is and surprise him with a baseball bat and a rottweiler. kidding. he is a good lead guitarist, but it is a shame he is such a douchebag.

Drummer Karl 11-03-2008 10:36 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Well, be honest. Beating around the bush won`t make any good results, on both sides, for both parties.
You should probably give him a hint by telling him that you have to meet to talk.
Although being "professional" regarding this, don`t be surprising and never ever treat it/him like a minor matter in this situation.

This "coffee-spitting" situation doesn`t make it sound as a very considered decision.

Honesty and professionality is so important. Being kind by explaining the problems in a constructive way is essential to keep a peaceful relationship in my opinion.

Karl

Drumsword 11-04-2008 01:03 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by tbmills (Post 496784)
i want to find out where he is and surprise him with a baseball bat and a rottweiler. .

LOL, That was my first good hard laugh of the morning.......Thanks

Ian Williams 11-06-2008 06:43 PM

Re: best way to drop a band member?
 
Speak your mind plainly but keep respect to the person, let him know his strengths and contributions to the band also his weaknesses as areas to improve.

Give thanks to him and you will find a lot!

Ian

Steady Freddy 11-06-2008 07:44 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
I usually just make a mean face and then point a shotgun at their head.

Works every time. :)

LeeLovesSabian 11-12-2008 07:19 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Step 1: Kick them in the nuts.
Step 2: Remind them how bad it sucks that they were kicked in the nuts.
Step 3: Say "Oh by the way, your fired.!

rogue_drummer 11-12-2008 08:13 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Ya, ya, that works great! Just walk right up and kick them in the nuts as hard as you can!

LeeLovesSabian 11-12-2008 08:22 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
I know, right!...............

punkuzz900 11-21-2008 10:17 PM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Kick him in the head...

yjb63 11-22-2008 12:34 AM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
kick him in the head and nuts at the same time.

LeeLovesSabian 11-22-2008 12:38 AM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by yjb63 (Post 504623)
kick him in the head and nuts at the same time.

Finally, someone on the same page!

Splendid..........

bobdadruma 11-22-2008 01:20 AM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
There is no good way to fire someone. I have been through this many times in my many years of playing. The best way is the personal direct way. I will say that many people that have been let go form bands that I have played with have done well with other bands. Let the member whom you are dropping know this. I also have played with the same people who we dropped from bands that I played with in different bands years later and it worked out well. Don't burn your bridges with the unfortunate band member. Sometimes things just don't work out. That's just the way it is! Musicians find themselves in strange ways. Rejection can be a good thing sometimes. The musician who has been rejected will work harder and find his or her way. It seems heartless and cruel but it is often the best thing that can happen for all concerned if it is handled correctly. Emphasis on Handled Correctly! Treat the member that you are letting go with compassion. Tell him or her the truthful reasons why the band has made the decision in a friendly sensitive way. Keep in mind that all of us get rejected many times in our lives. Keep in mind how you would feel if it was you that was being rejected. I hope that my insight helps.

doorstilend 11-22-2008 01:22 AM

Re: best way to drop a band memeber?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by LeeLovesSabian (Post 500536)
Step 1: Kick them in the nuts.
Step 2: Remind them how bad it sucks that they were kicked in the nuts.
Step 3: Say "Oh by the way, your fired.!



hahaha that was hillarious


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