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-   -   Why is it so hard to find people to jam with? (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=30913)

fourstringdrums 09-11-2007 03:27 AM

Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
I'm getting very frustrated with trying to find people to jam with. I've written to about 15 people through CraigsList and what not. Most of them haven't written me back. Others actually wrote me, but then stopped writing. Of course I had the one band I auditioned for and that didn't work out, but I thought I had something lined up with a guitarist who wanted to jam. We exchanged a few emails and he called me the week before last and said that he would be in touch last week. Well Thursday I sent and email and Friday I called him and I still haven't heard anything.

It's getting a bit irritating because I feel like it shouldn't be this hard to find someone to jam with, ANYONE...forget if the person is actually compatible.

crlujan 09-11-2007 03:32 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
I totally agree. I think if I could find some people to play with my playing would improve much quicker. I've got a friend who comes over and brings along a bass player (gotta pay the bass player $40; a small fee, I know). We only do that about once every month and a half. I've got a sax player that I could play with more often but we really need a bass player to complete the trio. And I love a sax/bass/drums trio. I've posted ads numerous times on craigslist and you get a bunch of people responding but no one every comes through when a session is set up. What gives?

fourstringdrums 09-11-2007 03:43 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by crlujan (Post 358824)
I totally agree. I think if I could find some people to play with my playing would improve much quicker. I've got a friend who comes over and brings along a bass player (gotta pay the bass player $40; a small fee, I know). We only do that about once every month and a half. I've got a sax player that I could play with more often but we really need a bass player to complete the trio. And I love a sax/bass/drums trio. I've posted ads numerous times on craigslist and you get a bunch of people responding but no one every comes through when a session is set up. What gives?

At least you hear something. I have only heard from 3 out of the 15 people. One was the band that didn't work out, another was the guy who won't get back to me, and another is a guy who stopped writing. Oh wait, I did have one band about an hour and a half away email me, which I wasn't interested in, but at least I had the courtesy to say I wasn't interested.

beefythedrummer 09-11-2007 04:32 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
This thread made me happy...because now I know I'm not the only one lol. It's always like someone is real interested, and then are never heard from again.

Big_Philly 09-11-2007 09:03 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Yeah, finding a band is hard! A darn shame...

harryconway 09-11-2007 10:52 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Don't get discouraged, just keep chippin' away at the stone. Finding musicians who are on the same page as you can be extremely hard.

latzanimal 09-11-2007 10:54 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Musicians as a whole are flakes or eccentrics. Mostly flakes. If I had a nickel for every flake/screwball musician I've played with or dealt with... well, I'd have Gates money. I don't know if it's part of the creativity or what. There are exceptions of course, and I have been paid a nickel for each one of them and needless to say I am nowhere near rich.

Don't take any of it seriously or personal. It's just the nature of the beast.

Good luck...

Wavelength 09-11-2007 11:18 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by latzanimal (Post 358935)
Musicians as a whole are flakes or eccentrics..

Wannabe-players, perhaps... Musicians, rarely. During my 4-5 years in the "scene", I've met three difficult persons I've played with.

aydee 09-11-2007 11:32 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
put your playing out there, your interests your town, kind of stuff you listen to...get on the youtube, craigslist, myspace,facebook ...keep updating it.....whatever..in other words, put yourself , as a person/musician out there.

The 'right-minded' people will find you sooner or later.......hang in.

fourstringdrums 09-11-2007 04:54 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by aydee (Post 358947)
put your playing out there, your interests your town, kind of stuff you listen to...get on the youtube, craigslist, myspace,facebook ...keep updating it.....whatever..in other words, put yourself , as a person/musician out there.

The 'right-minded' people will find you sooner or later.......hang in.

Well I have a flyer in the local music store which has my phone number that you can rip off, that hasn't been touched. I may hit up the music stores about 20 minutes away. I'm on BandMix.com, CraigsList and MySpace, although MySpace is useless because they don't organize the musicians classifieds by area, so I could be on the same page as people across the country. It's not the best way to find people you want to play with.

intooder 09-11-2007 05:06 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
The last band I was in (about 4 years ago) lasted for about a year or so, in which time we wrote 4 songs, because the guys weren't serious enough and eventually stopped showing up for practice in addition to forming an acoustic band on the side which they didn't want me in. Lovely!

I was pretty much done after that point and let them know that. Thereafter, I auditioned for about 30-40 established/forming bands over a period close to 2 years within a 100 mile radius. I was looking for a predominantly originals band with some covers. I ran in to whole range of people - covers only bands, 3-piece, blues, horror punk, metal (old and new), straight up rock, country, alt-rock, alt-goth, funk....... couple of which had me come back 3 or 4 times before they made up their mind. Finally, I found the band that I've always wanted to be in (the one I'm in now) two years ago where the chemistry was there, musically, more than I could've asked for, and are now good friends. It an hour and 15 minute drive one way for me to get to practice, but it's well worth it twice a week.

It's just a matter of time, persistence and not losing hope and you will find someone that clicks. Staying open minded (in terms of genre, skill level, location) is a plus as you'll find one sooner - especially if you're dealing with skilled musicians.

BTW, have you looked for a online music forum for your local area - that's how I found my gig - from the Musicians Wanted section.

Good luck.

fourstringdrums 09-11-2007 05:25 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by intooder (Post 359045)
It's just a matter of time, persistence and not losing hope and you will find someone that clicks. Staying open minded (in terms of genre, skill level, location) is a plus as you'll find one sooner - especially if you're dealing with skilled musicians.

BTW, have you looked for a online music forum for your local area - that's how I found my gig - from the Musicians Wanted section.

Good luck.

Well the only information that I'm putting out is that I'm looking for mature musicians who are no younger than 18. I only put where I am, I didn't put where I want them to be from, but I have a limit. I'm not up to driving more than an hour just to jam with someone. I list the styles that I want to play as funk, jazz, light and classic rock. Really I'm not into playing any other styles, or physically up to it like punk, metal etc.. I want to jam with others and hopefully get into a band, but i want it to be with playing music that I have an interest in and some familiarity with. If I auditioned for a punk band I would be miserable and I wouldn't mesh with the other musicians any way because I have no experience with it.

There aren't any local forums. I live in a smaller area which makes it even harder.

intooder 09-11-2007 05:44 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by fourstringdrums (Post 359049)
There aren't any local forums. I live in a smaller area which makes it even harder.

How about registering in the major music forum(s) for Massachusetts (if you haven't already) and submitting a thread looking for musicians in and around where u live and checking back frequently?

fourstringdrums 09-11-2007 05:48 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by intooder (Post 359055)
How about registering in the major music forum(s) for Massachusetts (if you haven't already) and submitting a thread looking for musicians in and around where u live and checking back frequently?

I've been looking but haven't really found any major forums that I could use other than www.bandmix.com but you have to pay to even respond to anyone.

intooder 09-11-2007 06:02 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Hmm.. In that case I would search google regularly for bands seeking drummers in your area.
Another idea is to check back with contacts that you haven't heard from in a while (not the ones that it didn't work out with). A lot of the time it is just a lack of communication issue - musicians do tend to be lazy at times.

Dibalo Jonze 09-11-2007 11:57 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Hey Rob-
I've had such similar frustrations in the past finding musicians for jamming and mainly on Craigslist, and mainly issues with people being flakes.

I used to post very detailed ads on CL specifying the exact style of music, commitment to jamming, and musical ability I was looking for but found that people are often too intimidated by such parameters OR are looking for something even more serious, and thus never even send a reply. I was limiting borderline potential jammers from responding.

By making my posts more casual and open (for ex. saying that I'm looking for anything from casual 1x month jamming to serious 4x week writing and recording) I started getting more responses from my posts even if I eventually had to back away from some. I would not limit myself from punk or heavy metal ads (styles I wasn't interested in) just to network with the people and see if I could meet anyone through them.

I still have trouble networking and know that the best thing I could do is hit clubs every night and talk to people but that is hard for me. My last bit of advice though, is when you do go to clubs or shows to see bands play, don't be afraid to go up to the lead guitarist and steer a conversation towards a jam session. Even though he's already in a band that's headling the So&So theatre, you never know what other projects he may want to start. Or he may want to replace his drummer.

drum.lad 09-12-2007 12:04 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
in my experince of past bands almost all of the guys were in it for the idea of being in a band most of them wanted girls and to go on stage drunk and be a rock star and it was awful thankfully i now have a really talented bass player who i play with on mondays wendsdays and thursdays and my band at weekends you got to put up with alot of wannabes before you reach the real deal

zambizzi 09-12-2007 12:09 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by fourstringdrums (Post 358821)
I'm getting very frustrated with trying to find people to jam with. I've written to about 15 people through CraigsList and what not. Most of them haven't written me back. Others actually wrote me, but then stopped writing. Of course I had the one band I auditioned for and that didn't work out, but I thought I had something lined up with a guitarist who wanted to jam. We exchanged a few emails and he called me the week before last and said that he would be in touch last week. Well Thursday I sent and email and Friday I called him and I still haven't heard anything.

It's getting a bit irritating because I feel like it shouldn't be this hard to find someone to jam with, ANYONE...forget if the person is actually compatible.

Ha! I had to chime in as the *only* band mate-finding experience I've has is w/ Craigslist. I made a very casual, easy, humorous ad explaining my skill level and the types of music I'd like to play. I made a point to say that this was a "garage band" experience and I just wanted to jam for the sake of making music w/ others.

I've done this twice and the first time, I would say I got somewhere between 15 and 25 replies. I thought "holy hell, there's a huge number of musicians out there w/ free time!". After a week, when people would quit writing back or not reply in the first place...I thought, "yep, there it is...the 'flaky musician' stereotype holding true".

I ended up hooking up with a guitar player and a bass player who were *great* guys...we clicked and played for a couple of months. We had a fantastic time and I made some good friends. The guitar player moved out of the area and I put yet another ad up there...and hooked up with another guitarist (and talked to at least a half-dozen flakes) within a week or so.

I'm still jammin' w/ this guy today (4 mo. later)...and we've become good friends.

So, I'd say - be patient and feel confident to quit trying to communicate w/ someone if they fail to reply within a few days...it's a 2-way street. In the end you could hook up w/ some really great folks and it's well worth the wait.

driver 09-12-2007 12:11 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
I got lucky. Both my closest friends happend to play bass and guitar. I can't imagine not having some people to jam with it must be really fustrating. Best of luck trying to find some guys cos theres nothing like playing live with like minded musicians.

Salicete 09-12-2007 01:33 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Yup, it is a pain finding other musicians to jam with. Either you want to get serious and they just want to jam, or vice-versa.

That is why all my kids can play. We have a guitar player, bass player, drummer, keys and vocals all under one roof. Of course now that they are old enough for jobs, cars and girlfriends, they are never around to jam either.

Just keep at it. I am sure you will locate some other like-minded musicians in your area.

fourstringdrums 09-12-2007 03:21 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Well I heard back from the guy I was supposed to make plans to jam with. Turns out he's just been super busy and hasn't had time to call back. Part of me got frustrated quickly because I'm someone who returns calls like tomorrow is the end of the world, and just with the other luck I've been having it's gotten a bit frustrating.

So hopefully it goes well so I'm not back at square 1.

burnthehero 09-12-2007 04:47 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Creativity and reliability isn't a common combination found in most human beings. It seems like you either get one or the other.

latzanimal 09-12-2007 07:00 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Wavelength (Post 358943)
Wannabe-players, perhaps... Musicians, rarely. During my 4-5 years in the "scene", I've met three difficult persons I've played with.

Consider yourself very fortunate...

johncrayforth 06-24-2009 10:11 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
I found that going along to jam sessions was a better way of meeting musicians than on the web. I dont know about your areas but in my region there are loads of jam sessions in pubs every night of the week.

Think theres a jam session forum here - Musicians Wanted

rogue_drummer 06-24-2009 10:49 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
I seems like 95% of the musicians you run into just want the stigma of "being in a band". So far I've had some luck though on CraigsList, of all places. I really want to get away from the flakes who just want to "jam, drink some beer, and hang out, dude" without really having any direction at all.

I'm coming to realize though, it's all a numbers game. The more folks you make contact with, the better success you'll have in finding some real talented musicians into the same things you are. For the brief time I was in Sales, that was what was taught - you gotta play the numbers game in order to be successful. But it can be very frustrating! Good luck!

nhzoso 06-25-2009 04:34 PM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Sounds like you need to move up to NH : ) I have had good luck on CL up here and am now in a band with a great bunch of guys. All through CL. Not sure how far it will go but it is fun and we just started on our 2nd set list after about 8 practice sessions.

I agree with going to open mics as well, I went to one here in Dover on sunday and it was great, although I played like crap due to not knowing the songs and the kit was set up completely different than what I am used too. Still had a good time though and met some more players for possible future get togethers.

Lesson learned, next time I get on someone else's kit I will ask if it's ok if I adjust a few things, if they say no then I will not play on it rather than risk sounding like crap...although it was fun : )

lifetime 07-22-2009 03:28 AM

Re: Why is it so hard to find people to jam with?
 
Yes it is hard finding good people. Craiglist is a joke for finding people. Though some people actually have had good luck finding musicians. I'm going to answer a ad and hopefully something might come of it. I like when I see a post that reads, "pro drummer, 20 years experience...). Well if you have that experience as a pro, why are you posting on craiglist?

Craiglist is great for selling instruments though. I sold a set on craiglist and was surprised how easy it was. You might want to try out bandmix.com also. I had several inquiries on there that lead to some gig experiences. Funny thing is on bandmix, I didn't contact anyone, they all contacted me.


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