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-   -   My new band collapsed... (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=110232)

The Old Hyde 09-13-2013 03:38 PM

My new band collapsed...
 
Im still scratching my head on this one. The band I formed recently just fell apart in a matter of hours through text messages. Here is what happened. We were renting a practice studio. Small, no A/C and very loud, we had to were ear plugs because of the size and layout of the place. Now last Sunday the owner said he need our time slot. No problem but we all have families etc so we can only play at that time. We locate another studio 2 mile away, same price BUT...2 drum sets, A/C base cab, amps, the works and larger. When the owner of the first studio finds out he flips and somehow moves things around and gets out spot back. BUT, me. the bass and the rhythm guy really want to go to the new spot anyway. ( He says he busted his ass to get us our time back, Really? Just a few calls I think). Now, he is not a member of the band, not a manager, not anything, just someone we rented a space from. So, the singer and lead ( brother and sister) tell us "well, hes a friend and we don't want to move out". I don't care if hes your dad, the place sucked! Also, for free the rhythm guy offered his basement studio ( he is wealthy, COO of a fortune 400 company, 7500 square ft house, top notch gear and drums, I didn't ask about it because I didn't want him to think we were using him for that). They went on about their commitment to the first guy and long story short, they quit the band!?!?!?!?! Im not sure what happened, the band showed promise but they were like a couple of cult member to this guy. still have my other band and the remaining three of us will work on a trio for now.

nightraider43 09-13-2013 03:51 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
That really sucks but I guess you're better off finding out how bro/sis are at the early stages of the band than much later. I say forget 'em and move forward with your other band. Also see about your other bandmate possibly assembling another singer and guitarist. And tell them THIS is the rehearsal studio we would like to use. A/C can go along ways in keeping people cool-headed...no pun intended!

Steve

MaryO 09-13-2013 03:58 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Ah, the problem with working with the very young. I'm sure in time they'll come to realize what a dumb mistake they made..not that that's much consolation.

I'm sorry it didn't work out for you but at least you know of a place you can use for your next project. Sounds awesome!

The Old Hyde 09-13-2013 04:03 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
They both quit their previous band after three gigs and blamed an over demanding drummer. I took their word for it, I think its them. in practice he would suggest a song and I would say I never heard of it and he would still say lets try it now anyway. dude I NEVER heard it, let me download it first at least! he was like a little dictator, I didn't pull any of the "I formed this band/im the leader " stuff but he seemed to right away. I saw them post on facebook an open mic they attended and reached out to them, what a mistake. they got bullied by this studio owner and in turn, tried to bully the rest of us. it got crazy really quickly.

nightraider43 09-13-2013 04:09 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Sounds to me like they are over pretentious, spoiled brats that were use to having things their way. They will probably go from band to band until they're tossed aside in few years from all the local musicians in your area. Or....they become the new Oasis lol

The Old Hyde 09-13-2013 04:14 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
One of their arguments was the owner has a kid on the way and could use the money. So I have to suffer playing there because of that? strange. and turning down the free space as well? it was only 20 bucks an hour, three hours. so now instead of 60 bucks he gets 100% of nothing hahaha. he totally started this crap storm. Then " as a friend " moved things around when we were moving out. Well a friend would not have given our time slot away in the first place! this guy is a local drummer who is pretty well know in the area and its like they fear him. He never played with them or asked them to be on anything of his, are they afraid to miss out if he hits it big?

Magenta 09-13-2013 04:15 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Sounds to me as if it might be a case of loyalty complicating things. Whatever it is, it's a pity but better things will surely come out of it.

nightraider43 09-13-2013 04:19 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Old Hyde (Post 1180012)
One of their arguments was the owner has a kid on the way and could use the money. So I have to suffer playing there because of that? strange. and turning down the free space as well? it was only 20 bucks an hour, three hours. so now instead of 60 bucks he gets 100% of nothing hahaha. he totally started this crap storm. Then " as a friend " moved things around when we were moving out. Well a friend would not have given our time slot away in the first place! this guy is a local drummer who is pretty well know in the area and its like they fear him. He never played with them or asked them to be on anything of his, are they afraid to miss out if he hits it big?

All good points. Sounds like the biggest loser is the "so-called friend". I don't think loyalty is the issue but greed itself from the owner.

The Old Hyde 09-13-2013 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Magenta (Post 1180013)
Sounds to me as if it might be a case of loyalty complicating things. Whatever it is, it's a pity but better things will surely come out of it.

hahahaha they actually said " you don't understand loyalty". HE IS NOT PART OF THE BAND~!!!!! I was dying reading their barrage of texts, nothing got rude thankfully but it was a lot of B.S.

Quote:

Originally Posted by nightraider43 (Post 1180018)
All good points. Sounds like the biggest loser is the "so-called friend". I don't think loyalty is the issue but greed itself from the owner.

I am soooo tempted to call him and say thanks for wrecking my project but I wont. he is a casual friend of mine to. one of my closest friends is a landscaper, I don't use him and he doesn't care! the singer is a hairdresser by day, am I supposed to start using her?
BTW, thanks for letting me vent about this.

larryace 09-13-2013 04:30 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
If that's all it took to splinter the band....it wouldn't have survived anyway. Geez, what a wacky reason to split a band.
I don't get it.

But whatever. In a few months you'll probably be glad it happened. Because you wouldn't have met the people you haven't met yet.

The Old Hyde 09-13-2013 04:34 PM

Sorry, things keep popping up. I forgot, when our guy found the new place, all five of us looked at it on line and the specs etc and all five of us were excited about it. then when it all goes down the lead guitar guy says " I would rather sacrifice convenience of space if it means keeping a friendship in good standing" ???? Its a cult I tell ya!

Quote:

Originally Posted by larryace (Post 1180023)
If that's all it took to splinter the band....it wouldn't have survived anyway. Geez, what a wacky reason to split a band.
I don't get it.

But whatever. In a few months you'll probably be glad it happened. Because you wouldn't have met the people you haven't met yet.

Larry it is crazy, my wife read through the texts and was laughing and scratching her head too. what a non-issue it should have been.

nightraider43 09-13-2013 04:37 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Old Hyde (Post 1180022)
I am soooo tempted to call him and say thanks for wrecking my project but I wont. he is a casual friend of mine to. one of my closest friends is a landscaper, I don't use him and he doesn't care! the singer is a hairdresser by day, am I supposed to start using her?
BTW, thanks for letting me vent about this.

Absolutely use her. And ask her to give you a 60's Beehive doo. It's all the rage ya know ; ). Vent away...what we're here for. Plus...people vent to me all the time, I'm a cop so this isn't so bad but healthy for you. You should hear some of the stuff I hear every day...whoa!!!

longgun 09-13-2013 05:33 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by larryace (Post 1180023)
If that's all it took to splinter the band....it wouldn't have survived anyway. Geez, what a wacky reason to split a band.
I don't get it.

But whatever. In a few months you'll probably be glad it happened. Because you wouldn't have met the people you haven't met yet.

+1..........................doesn't sound like it would have lasted anyway. Just be glad you didn't get even more involved with them.

Reggae_Mangle 09-13-2013 06:15 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Old Hyde (Post 1180025)
Its a cult I tell ya!

And I just finished congratulating you on that new band a few days ago :/

I wouldn't be surprised if it is a cult.

larryace 09-13-2013 06:25 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Reggae_Mangle (Post 1180051)
And I just finished congratulating you on that new band a few days ago :/

I wouldn't be surprised if it is a cult.

It's all Reggae Mangles fault, he jinxed you lol. Please don't congratulate me on anything Reggae, I like my bands lol.

DrumEatDrum 09-13-2013 07:31 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
I'm always amazed over the petty things people will quit a band over.

eclipseownzu 09-13-2013 07:35 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
If that is all it took for them to bail I would assume they were one foot out the door already. As you said they are probably trying to hitch their wagon to the owner of the space. I have been in one band with siblings and one band with a husband/wife and I will never do it again. Having two people that close outside the band almost always makes things difficult inside the band. They almost always rise to the position of leadership due to their votes always being the same.

Think about it
AC/DC
Van Halen
Pantera

PQleyR 09-14-2013 04:59 AM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
You're better off getting this out of the way now. Band members need to be easy to work with otherwise you're in for a tough time.

Anon La Ply 09-14-2013 05:44 AM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PQleyR (Post 1180219)
You're better off getting this out of the way now. Band members need to be easy to work with otherwise you're in for a tough time.

Yep. It looks like you dodged a bullet. Well done, Hyde!

Bo Eder 09-14-2013 08:41 AM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Wow. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with any of that. It pays to be the leader all the time, you know ;)

keep it simple 09-14-2013 10:24 AM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Old Hyde (Post 1179997)
Im still scratching my head on this one. The band I formed recently just fell apart in a matter of hours through text messages.

You clearly failed in your duty to introduce wind chimes at an early stage. They're comforting, & bring an air of serenity to the band vibe ;)

Seriously, I'm sorry you had to put time into this, but at least they bailed early, plus you still have the remaining band members who are hopefully cool to work with.

Jeff Almeyda 09-14-2013 12:30 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
I feel for you. Dealing with the nonsense that musicians can come up with can be torture.

As has been already said here, I think you were lucky to get out when you did. Their notions of honor seem odd.

Dre25 09-14-2013 01:15 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
I'm with eclipse - when people are quick to bail I suspect they weren't very interested anyway.

I organised a meet with a few guys to start a cover band last week and the bass player refused to pay his share of the room cost at the end. He said he's never paid to audition.. but it was the first time any of us had met? No one pulls a stunt like that unless they want to burn bridges.

The Old Hyde 09-16-2013 02:40 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by PQleyR (Post 1180219)
You're better off getting this out of the way now. Band members need to be easy to work with otherwise you're in for a tough time.

Funny thing is they said the same thing!

Quote:

Originally Posted by keep it simple (Post 1180256)
You clearly failed in your duty to introduce wind chimes at an early stage. They're comforting, & bring an air of serenity to the band vibe ;)
hahaha, those and a yellow wood block!

Seriously, I'm sorry you had to put time into this, but at least they bailed early, plus you still have the remaining band members who are hopefully cool to work with.

the two remaining are cool with a three piece so we will keep it going for sure. And we get to practice for free now. which in their eyes was going to be a bad thing somehow???

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jeff Almeyda (Post 1180266)
I feel for you. Dealing with the nonsense that musicians can come up with can be torture.

As has been already said here, I think you were lucky to get out when you did. Their notions of honor seem odd.

Still scratching my head about their honor!

Its so nice to be able to vent here, thanks again everyone.

brady 09-16-2013 09:59 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Old Hyde (Post 1180020)

I am soooo tempted to call him and say thanks for wrecking my project but I wont. he is a casual friend of mine to. one of my closest friends is a landscaper, I don't use him and he doesn't care! the singer is a hairdresser by day, am I supposed to start using her?
BTW, thanks for letting me vent about this.

I've been in a similar situation before. It's never worth it to switch anything based on the fact that someone is a friend. My wife asked me a while back if she wanted a friend of ours from our church to start cutting my hair. Absolutely not. What if it sucks? It's also rude to whomever I already have for that. Same thing with a casual acquaintance that was doing investments or something a while back. No thanks, we have a guy for that.

But friendships can be a strong attraction for wanting working together in a band. The sax player in our quartet is a long time friend of the piano player so she wants to help him out by getting him some gigs with us. Most of his gigs are him playing to a backing track. He's supposed to be some famous guy in town, but I really don't get it. No one wants to play with him because he either can't or won't read music and he just simply plays everything the way he's always played it. Plus he's just a cantankerous d-bag. He has an okay sound though, but I wish we could find another player.

Not sure what my point was now. Basically, you're not alone brother. I feel for you.

opentune 09-16-2013 10:41 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by The Old Hyde (Post 1180025)
then when it all goes down the lead guitar guy says " I would rather sacrifice convenience of space if it means keeping a friendship in good standing" ???? Its a cult I tell ya!
.

hmmmm......i say they are likely romantically involved. for sure. :)

poika 09-17-2013 07:51 AM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eclipseownzu (Post 1180075)
I have been in one band with siblings and one band with a husband/wife and I will never do it again. Having two people that close outside the band almost always makes things difficult inside the band. They almost always rise to the position of leadership due to their votes always being the same.

Think about it
AC/DC
Van Halen
Pantera

I wouldn't mind having played in any of those bands...

I've played together with two of my brothers, in different bands.
We're currently playing as a duo with my younger brother and I'd say it is exactly the opposite of what you were desribing - we never seem to agree on anything with him :D

eclipseownzu 09-17-2013 12:35 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by brady (Post 1181014)

Not sure what my point was now. Basically, you're not alone brother. I feel for you.

I think the first part of your post sums up the old adage "don't mix business with pleasure." In this case it proved that people are unable to put their personal feelings aside to make an informed business decision. I see this all the time. I have actually pissed off friends because I wont use their business, but I have been burned too many times in the past. Sounds like I can add this to my list of experiences I have either had or heard about that prove this to be correct.

The Old Hyde 09-17-2013 02:14 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Thanks for all of the support. One last little nugget played out yesterday that I found pretty funny. The studio owner texted me and acted surprised that the band broke up and said he hoped it wasn't the drama about the practice space. I told him it was and he said he thought we were unbreakable. I asked him what he meant and it turns out, the three of them were discussing band names and came up with Unbreakable. HE IS NOT PART OF THE BAND!!!! and that name sucks anyway!! this cult is nuts!

Magenta 09-17-2013 02:58 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Forgive me for laughing, I can't help it. Sounds as if you've had a narrow escape there - phew!

brady 09-17-2013 06:36 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Magenta (Post 1181247)
Forgive me for laughing, I can't help it. Sounds as if you've had a narrow escape there - phew!

Definitely. Just be thankful you got out when you did.

Reggae_Mangle 09-18-2013 11:43 AM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by larryace (Post 1180056)
It's all Reggae Mangles fault, he jinxed you lol. Please don't congratulate me on anything Reggae, I like my bands lol.

:(

"Born under a bad sign/ I was down before I began to crawl..."

"Yeah, I'm a crawling King Snake/ in a room of death..."

"Please allow me to introduce myself/ I'm a man of wealth and taste..."

Oh and also,

"The witch queen/ of New Orleans,,,"

Reggae_Mangle 09-18-2013 11:51 AM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
It might just be the medium of communication to blame, The Old Hyde.

The number of times I've been trying to make time with some girl and she freaks out when I text her... Ugh.

Of course, that might just be the people with a duplicate sim of my phone and following me around and GPS and stuff... After I complained to the phone company (again) this month, my bill came down to 1/5th. They must be trying to pacify me...

But messaging seriously sucks. Better to talk, since there's just so much more that a tone of voice can conver than an impersonal message. People might imagine you being happy or sad or angry or perverse or whatever when you message.

"I want to play in our old jampad because we're a cult"

^^ See. If he wrote that, you might think he's joking. But if he said it over the phone, you'd be scared.

Dr_Watso 09-18-2013 06:34 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Reggae_Mangle (Post 1181518)
The number of times I've been trying to make time with some girl and she freaks out when I text her... Ugh.

Next time wait a while before you start sending her nude pics of yourself.

BacteriumFendYoke 09-18-2013 06:48 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr_Watso (Post 1181600)
Next time wait a while before you start sending her nude pics of yourself.

It's not the nude pictures that are the issues, it's the videos on SnapChat. The videos...

I am that girl. I should know.

Reggae_Mangle 09-19-2013 02:29 PM

Re: My new band collapsed...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr_Watso (Post 1181600)
Next time wait a while before you start sending her nude pics of yourself.

I'd be scared it would wind up on the internet. Who do you think I am? Tucker Max? All we need from good old Tuck now is to see him whipping out his dingus on camera, everything else has been done.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1181609)
It's not the nude pictures that are the issues, it's the videos on SnapChat. The videos...

I am that girl. I should know.

By now, I realise that even if I pay to get into the private members-only area, I won't get into the "private members-only" area.


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