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-   -   Ever been so mad? (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109012)

BramVanroy 07-28-2013 03:39 PM

Ever been so mad?
Video related.

Have you ever been so mad ... you threw away your drum sticks and started whistling for no reason whatsoever? I have.

It had been a hot, tiresome day and recording didn't go the way I had hoped. Sometimes it's good to take a break, reflect on what you have done and what went wrong, and try again in the morning.

My question to you is, how do you deal with failure. You are trying new techniques and you can't seem to get the hang of it. My approach has changed over the years. I used to keep on working on it for hours straight, and then get sad when it just didn't work out. Now I've learnt to just call it a day and stop trying. There are days enough to come.

The thing with this is that it usually works fine, but not always. Sometimes you just can't get it wrong, not even after days and days of trying. How do you deal with that?


GRUNTERSDAD 07-28-2013 04:17 PM

Re: Ever been so mad?
It's good to walk away. Your mind goes from doing what you need to do to, why am I failing? You have to focus and you can't when you are steaming.

Dracovyrn 07-29-2013 12:29 AM

Re: Ever been so mad?
I don't really get mad about things unless it's extremely personal, like in a separate thread. I become sad, but not mad, and if I'm sad or down about something, I just make it funny. Laughing masks pain and rage, so I try to encourage it to myself and others. Specifically for drumming, I laugh and move on to something else. I come back later and find that I have an easier time accomplishing it. Statistically proven to work for answering questions on tests, so I just apply it to life.

BramVanroy 07-29-2013 12:32 PM

Re: Ever been so mad?
That just doesn't work for me. I can't just make it funny. My brain seems to block that "No, son, this isn't funny!"

I tend to be more like GRUNTERSDAD.

Magenta 07-29-2013 01:40 PM

Re: Ever been so mad?

Originally Posted by BramVanroy (Post 1165539)
That just doesn't work for me. I can't just make it funny. My brain seems to block that "No, son, this isn't funny!".

That's because it isnt funny.

I'm not a very experienced or capable drummer; I play purely as a hobby. However that doesn't mean that I take it any less seriously than I would if I earned my living doing it. So when it goes wrong, I wail about it, rather a lot; I think about selling my kits and never ever picking up a drumstick again, but because I know I'm not finished with it yet, I persevere.

I've just started to learn to be kinder to myself: to look back and see how far I've come, and not to beat myself up for not being able to do stuff. I wail to anybody who will listen, and if nobody will, I wail to my private blog. And then I make myself feel better by playing things I can do well, favourite songs or favourite rudiments. If even these go wrong, which they sometimes do, I go back to playing as slowly as necessary in order to do it as perfectly as I'm capable of.

And if this doesn't work, I sit down with several large gins and a couple of cats, and by the next day I can't even remember what the problem was!

larryace 07-29-2013 05:40 PM

Re: Ever been so mad?
Just my personal take on this topic...I think the fact that your mind goes there, meaning getting mad at drumming...that is a major sign that an attitude adjustment is needed. How can you hit the highest highs, when there is that element of negativity? Lighten up, it's only sound waves. Drums are the wrong thing to get mad at, it doesn't help you at all. You need to get out of your own way. You're blocking your own way forward. If you find yourself getting steamed...just stop and do something else. You should not allow yourself to get mad at your playing anymore. At worst, drums are a neutral experience for me. Some day's I just don't feel it, and that's just fine. But I never turn sour over playing drums. That's just silly. That's like eating pie and getting mad when you get some on your face. If you get mad at things that are enjoyable, I'd hate to be around when the really hard stuff jumps up in life.

Getting mad is a cancer. It has no redeeming qualities. You have to be larger than your emotions.

Otto 07-29-2013 11:34 PM

Re: Ever been so mad?
I see success and failure as existing on a continum...with no point on it being at either extreme.

Nothing is a total success...nothing is a total failure.

This perspective not only prevents over valuation of poorer than average performance...but also mitigates uncontrolled ego growth.

larryace 07-30-2013 12:11 AM

Re: Ever been so mad?
Plus, when you are really practicing hard, well, it is hard. That's when you are doing the most good, when it seems like you are making no progress. But you are making progress. You are expanding and with that comes growing pains, or frustration. So frustration means you're doing it right. If you just lose the emotional part, you're good to go.

Plus when you stop, your mind continues to work in the background on the problem. The next time you try playing it, if you don't already have it, it should come much easier. Be happy.

Dr_Watso 07-30-2013 12:33 AM

Re: Ever been so mad?
Very true, Lar.

My first drum teacher taught me that. She said: "You seem to spend time "practicing" the stuff you can already do well because it's comfortable. Think about what you're not good at, then practice that. It will be frustrating, you'll feel like you have huge flaws. That's how it works."

Also agree that we can improve simply by committing brain time to the stuff we're working on, even away from the kit. I commonly think up cool fills or grooves, then spend some time "air" drumming them in my head, by the time I get to the kit, my sticking is already worked out, and I've already envisioned places to use what I'm working out. Very cool.

Dracovyrn 08-02-2013 04:55 AM

Re: Ever been so mad?

Originally Posted by Magenta (Post 1165552)
That's because it isnt funny.

I'm not a very experienced or capable drummer; I play purely as a hobby. However that doesn't mean that I take it any less seriously than I would if I earned my living doing it.

I'm not sure how to explain what I mean. I don't get irritated or rageful but I try not to make it such a big deal. It doesn't become any less serious, but it is quite effective.

I also second what larry said.

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