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-   -   any help for a hot, fat guy.... (http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=108771)

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 03:26 PM

any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
and by 'hot' I do not mean sexually attractive...its 32+degrees in Lincolnshire, I am sat in the shade outside, watching the Ashes (cricket) on TV thru the open conservatory door. I am wearing a loose training vest and leopardskin thong, I have taken a cool shower and sprayed deodorant on my under boob area, I am drinking a very cold pint of Strongbow cider but I am still too damn hot!!
Any guidance from those in more often hot areas?? cos this is killing me....tho to be honest, its nice that its not raining.....toodles, J

Magenta 07-19-2013 03:47 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Tie a wet bandana around your neck, and keep refreshing it.

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 03:51 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Thank you Magenta...sadly tho, I have no neck...my head simply sits atop my shoulders supported by tyre like fatty rolls....I will try and force a scarf into my sweaty folds...Thanks again :)

(just slipped that extra communication symbol in there, I hope you noticed??)

BacteriumFendYoke 07-19-2013 03:58 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Get a large planting tub. Fill with water, ice and cans of beer. Fill with yourself.

Enjoy the Ashes. Current score Australia 86-5, chasing 361...

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 04:05 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162264)
Get a large planting tub. Fill with water, ice and cans of beer. Fill with yourself.

Enjoy the Ashes. Current score Australia 86-5, chasing 361...

would have to be a hell of a size of planting tub bro......My other issue is that the thong seems to have been ingested somehow; no external trace....as for the cricket; do I feel a follow on coming on?? c'mon England..

BacteriumFendYoke 07-19-2013 04:16 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162268)
would have to be a hell of a size of planting tub bro......My other issue is that the thong seems to have been ingested somehow; no external trace....as for the cricket; do I feel a follow on coming on?? c'mon England..

I think Clarke might be following on in the changing rooms...

Magenta 07-19-2013 04:22 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162261)
Thank you Magenta...sadly tho, I have no neck...my head simply sits atop my shoulders supported by tyre like fatty rolls....I will try and force a scarf into my sweaty folds...Thanks again :)

(just slipped that extra communication symbol in there, I hope you noticed??)

I did indeed ;)

A towel over your shoulders would do the trick too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162268)
My other issue is that the thong seems to have been ingested somehow; no external trace

I had been going to ask for a photo, but there's no need now. Your words paint the picture more eloquently than any photo possibly could.

eclipseownzu 07-19-2013 04:50 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
1. Go Inside

2. Turn on air conditioner

3. Bask in glory of before mentioned air conditioner

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 05:22 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eclipseownzu (Post 1162287)
1. Go Inside

2. Turn on air conditioner

3. Bask in glory of before mentioned air conditioner

Thank you my American friend...sadly A/C is not a usual option in England...we consider 'opening a window' as 'air conditioning' over here...Thank you for your input tho..

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 05:25 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Magenta (Post 1162277)
I did indeed ;)

A towel over your shoulders would do the trick too.



I had been going to ask for a photo, but there's no need now. Your words paint the picture more eloquently than any photo possibly could.

I am so pleased that I have touched your imagination and fuelled your fantasy Magenta...be assured that the reality is so worse than your imaginings my dear....Toodles..:D..

BacteriumFendYoke 07-19-2013 05:32 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eclipseownzu (Post 1162287)
1. Go Inside

2. Turn on air conditioner

3. Bask in glory of before mentioned air conditioner

Not something we tend to have in the UK. Especially not in residences. Probably for the best too, given the price of electricity.

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 05:36 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162299)
Not something we tend to have in the UK. Especially not in residences. Probably for the best too, given the price of electricity.


I think you're a little closer than Magenta bro, could you pop along and help me retrive this thong??...don't know where the damned thing's gone...

BacteriumFendYoke 07-19-2013 05:38 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162302)
I think you're a little closer than Magenta bro, could you pop along and help me retrive this thong??...don't know where the damned thing's gone...

If it's anything like mine, you'll have indigestion in about three days.

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 05:43 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162305)
If it's anything like mine, you'll have indigestion in about three days.

sometimes on the internet one finds a soulmate...welcome my brother; BacteriumFendYoke...god bless ya, sweet master..

BacteriumFendYoke 07-19-2013 05:44 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162307)
sometimes on the internet one finds a soulmate...welcome my brother; BacteriumFendYoke...god bless ya, sweet master..

I've always been here. My name in an anagram...

Jeremy Bender 07-19-2013 05:47 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Some advice here... http://www.accuweather.com/en/featur..._summ/14230201

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 05:49 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162309)
I've always been here. My name in an anagram...

Hot Fuzz quote dude? I don't do Countdown...I also noticed that someone below is offering proper advice on hot weather care etc.....laters dude...

Dr_Watso 07-19-2013 05:54 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162299)
Not something we tend to have in the UK. Especially not in residences. Probably for the best too, given the price of electricity.

Weird. We love our A/C around here! Maybe that also explains why my buddies nice new volvo has like the worst A/C I've ever seen. My nice american car will blast me with sub-zero freezing air all day long!

BacteriumFendYoke 07-19-2013 05:57 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162317)
Hot Fuzz quote dude? I don't do Countdown...I also noticed that someone below is offering proper advice on hot weather care etc.....laters dude...

No jokes. My name is an anagram of a previous user that was here. A young fellow. Not one that competed in WFD, mind.

eclipseownzu 07-19-2013 06:09 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162299)
Not something we tend to have in the UK. Especially not in residences. Probably for the best too, given the price of electricity.

Didn't know that. I assumed he didn't have A/C, or he would be using it.
Wow, the things we Yanks take for granted.

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 06:11 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eclipseownzu (Post 1162324)
Didn't know that. I assumed he didn't have A/C, or he would be using it.
Wow, the things we Yanks take for granted.

We have only recently got flushing toilets and some people have electricity 24/7...but not in my region..

keep it simple 07-19-2013 06:17 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr_Watso (Post 1162318)
Weird. We love our A/C around here! Maybe that also explains why my buddies nice new volvo has like the worst A/C I've ever seen. My nice american car will blast me with sub-zero freezing air all day long!

& that's one reason why your nice American car has such impressive fuel consumption performance (that, & the fact that you've only just progressed from pushrod engines). That said, you pay almost nothing for "gas", so why not just "consume away" :)

Runs for cover ;)

BacteriumFendYoke 07-19-2013 06:38 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by eclipseownzu (Post 1162324)
Didn't know that. I assumed he didn't have A/C, or he would be using it.
Wow, the things we Yanks take for granted.

Quite honestly, I don't want or need it in my residence.

It gets warm but I've got my cellar room, which is always cool. I have a sheltered south-facing room which is fine and a north-facing living room - which is fine. I stick a fan on and it's fine. I'd rather pay for a little electricity for a fan than for a sodding great air conditioner especially when it would only be cooling me most of the time.

Dr_Watso 07-19-2013 08:37 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by keep it simple (Post 1162330)
& that's one reason why your nice American car has such impressive fuel consumption performance (that, & the fact that you've only just progressed from pushrod engines). That said, you pay almost nothing for "gas", so why not just "consume away" :)

Runs for cover ;)

4 bucks a gallon doesn't seem like nothing as my pontiac slurps down the fossil fuel. With the amount of makeup most Californian women seem to prefer, without super A/C, they'd melt. It's a requirement out here. Then again, before we put a bunch of houses here, it used to be a desert.

Jonny Sumo 07-19-2013 08:39 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr_Watso (Post 1162409)
4 bucks a gallon doesn't seem like nothing as my pontiac slurps down the fossil fuel. With the amount of makeup most Californian women seem to prefer, without super A/C, they'd melt. It's a requirement out here. Then again, before we put a bunch of houses here, it used to be a desert.

we are paying 7 a gallon here Doctor, thats $10.50...we have just been warned to expect a huge price hike too...

JustJames 07-19-2013 10:44 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162413)
we are paying 7 a gallon here Doctor, thats $10.50...we have just been warned to expect a huge price hike too...

Different size gallons too, although I forget who has the larger gallons.

MrInsanePolack 07-19-2013 11:41 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by keep it simple (Post 1162330)
& that's one reason why your nice American car has such impressive fuel consumption performance (that, & the fact that you've only just progressed from pushrod engines). That said, you pay almost nothing for "gas", so why not just "consume away" :)

Runs for cover ;)

Not all of us just consume away. My wife has a car but doesn't really go anywhere, and I ride a bike or walk whenever I can. In Arkansas where I live, it can and will get over 100 outside quite regularly in the summer. My home does have a/c, but the wifes car doesn't.

Dracovyrn 07-19-2013 11:46 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162249)
and by 'hot' I do not mean sexually attractive...its 32+degrees in Lincolnshire, I am sat in the shade outside, watching the Ashes (cricket) on TV thru the open conservatory door. I am wearing a loose training vest and leopardskin thong, I have taken a cool shower and sprayed deodorant on my under boob area, I am drinking a very cold pint of Strongbow cider but I am still too damn hot!!
Any guidance from those in more often hot areas?? cos this is killing me....tho to be honest, its nice that its not raining.....toodles, J

Where I come from, 32* is the freezing point of water.

BacteriumFendYoke 07-20-2013 12:30 AM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Most of us in the UK use the Metric system for temperature. Although I use a combination of both systems so I can confuse everyone equally.

US gallons are smaller.

opentune 07-20-2013 12:32 AM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162249)
I am wearing a loose training vest and leopardskin thong,....

too much information.

try tightee whities, maybe plastic-lined ones with elastics, dump some ice cubes in there and you're good to go.

Dr_Watso 07-20-2013 03:07 AM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny Sumo (Post 1162413)
we are paying 7 a gallon here Doctor, thats $10.50...we have just been warned to expect a huge price hike too...

That's what you get for not living here in the land of cheap gas, overwhelming credit debt, guns, and "extreme couponing". We got it made over here.

Dracovyrn 07-20-2013 09:55 AM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162521)
Most of us in the UK use the Metric system for temperature. Although I use a combination of both systems so I can confuse everyone equally.

US gallons are smaller.

I know, I was being sarcastic. Here in 'Murica, we learn both systems of measurement. I prefer the system behind metric measurement, but obviously I am more accustomed to the use of US standard. I know how to use either, metric is easier to learn and understand. Especially for science.

Also, I thought most of the UK measured gas in liters?

Dracovyrn 07-20-2013 09:59 AM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dr_Watso (Post 1162587)
That's what you get for not living here in the land of cheap gas, overwhelming credit debt, guns, and "extreme couponing". We got it made over here.

Funny you say this. I like everything here except credit debt.

Pocket-full-of-gold 07-20-2013 10:00 AM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Pints.....try 'em cold for a change. I know it's a novel approach for you Poms though.

Is there cricket on at the moment? Who knew?

BacteriumFendYoke 07-20-2013 10:04 AM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Petrol is sold in litres but I tend to measure the efficiency of my car in miles per gallon.

My personal preferences are:

Distance - Miles
Measurements - Either, equally accurate at rough work with both, better with Metric for small measurements.
Beer - Pints.
Any other liquid - Metric.
Mass/Weight (yes, I know) - Body mass - Stone, mass for cooking - Metric.
Temperature - Metric.

I suppose we British have a very odd hybrid system. Officially we're metric but distances are still measured in Miles on the roadside.

To be honest, in casual conversation we flit back and forth between them and we seem to manage just fine. I can imagine it's tricky for some that were brought up on Imperial measurements.

With that said, I'd still prefer the Pound Sterling to be undecimalised because I'd imagine that system was fun.

Anon La Ply 07-20-2013 12:38 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
I was going to suggest aircon too. It saved my skin last summer when we had 46C (115F).

Otherwise hide inside with a fan and a cool, wet face cloth. No way would I sit outside for hours in 32C either. I'd rather go back to work in an air conditioned office than watch a boring game in the heat!

Midnite Zephyr 07-20-2013 01:27 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by BacteriumFendYoke (Post 1162521)
Most of us in the UK use the Metric system for temperature. Although I use a combination of both systems so I can confuse everyone equally.

US gallons are smaller.

One thing I'm curious about, since I've never driven outside of this country, except Canada. Since your steering wheels are on the right side, which foot do you use for the accelerator (gas pedal)?

Do you think this whole thing with driving on one side or the other dates back to shipping days? I think the port side is the left side of the boat, in which case it would make sense that we should be driving on the left side. I can't really find a logical reason why we drive on the right side, but it sure feels right. We even pass each other on the right when walking on a sidewalk. If you try to pass somebody on the left, they look at you as if you are strange or something. See, there's another school of thought. Passing each other on the right seems less threatening, perhaps?

Pocket-full-of-gold 07-20-2013 02:28 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Midnite Zephyr (Post 1162714)
One thing I'm curious about, since I've never driven outside of this country, except Canada. Since your steering wheels are on the right side, which foot do you use for the accelerator (gas pedal)?

Accelerator pedal on right, brake in the middle, clutch (where applicable) on the left.

eclipseownzu 07-20-2013 03:52 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
I owned a right hand drive car for a while and I could never quite get used to shifting with my left hand. Other than that it is pretty much the same.

Well except for the fact that I owned a right hand drive car on American roads. Confused a lot of people when I pulled up next to them or got out of the car.

Midnite Zephyr 07-20-2013 05:17 PM

Re: any help for a hot, fat guy....
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Pocket-full-of-gold (Post 1162730)
Accelerator pedal on right, brake in the middle, clutch (where applicable) on the left.

So, pretty much the same, except you're working the clutch gears with the left hand, unless it's three on the tree. I had an old 65 Ford Econoline that had 3 on the tree, meaning the shifter was right under the steering wheel.

Quote:

Originally Posted by eclipseownzu (Post 1162738)
I owned a right hand drive car for a while and I could never quite get used to shifting with my left hand. Other than that it is pretty much the same.

Well except for the fact that I owned a right hand drive car on American roads. Confused a lot of people when I pulled up next to them or got out of the car.

It works pretty good for mail delivery and parallel parking I'd imagine. It would be hard to get used to shifting with the left hand.

Sorry OP, didn't mean to hijack your thread. My advice would be to take more swims or showers and get a safari hat with a little fan built right into it.


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