Your parents' attitude towards your drumming

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
I'd like to poll everyone here as to the attitude, either for or against, of your parents, in regards to your drumming. I'd also like to know if you come from a long, or short, line of musicians, or not. Obviously this applies to drummers who started out while still under the care of their parents, but feel free to chime in if you started later in life.

My parents got me my first MIJ kit in 1968 when I was 10, so that implies a "for". The previous year I got bongos, but they never really satisfied me. I had restless leg syndrome, I was forever bouncing my right leg. I needed a bass drum. But as I never lost interest playing drums, in the years to follow, my Father definitely regretted helping me get started. I heard him with my own ears express those exact sentiments when I was an adult. He didn't know how huge it would become in my life in 1968, and felt he "lost" me after I got involved with drums. Lol. I would have played regardless, I just would have got my first kit at a later time. But there was no denying the fact that it was inside me and needed to come out. (a nod to a line in John Lee Hooker's "Boogie Chillun")

What I don't understand is...no one in the previous generations of my family, was musical at all, AFAIK. So I don't know where it came from. I did have an older cousin who had, and still owns, a 60's Ludwig black oyster pearl "Ringo" set, but I discovered drums on my own before that. He just helped fuel the fire that was already established.

So, in regards to your parent's attitude... was your drumming encouraged, discouraged, or treated indifferently? Are you the first generation of musicians in your family?
 

opentune

Platinum Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

No musical line in my family, but my parents put me in guitar (way too) early. It didn't take.
I badly wanted to start drums in high school but with 4 kids in a very small house, no way that would fly (no e-drums back then). Eventually the passion re-entered my life.... at 40 (I'm 50). Its totally taken over my free time. Better late than never.
 

rdb

Senior Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Like Opentune, I wanted to start when I was young, but my mom wouldn't let me. She believed that you've either got it or you don't, so when I proclaimed my interest, she gave me a test to see if I could keep a beat. I failed. So here I am a beginner at the age of 48. (And I can keep time just fine.) Crazy lady.
 

rogue_drummer

Gold Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

As far as I know, my parents were not musicians, or musical, nor were my grandparents on both sides, although my dad would sit and listen to the Boston Pops simulcast on FM radio and he had an intense appreciation for music, classical mostly, but also county and some pop. Much later in life, post 50, he taught himself some piano since we had an old upright.

My older brother (by 3 years) took up Alto Sax in the 6th grade and went all the way through the public school music program. So hearing about all the cool stuff he did in band, I wanted to follow in his footsteps. I didn't want Sax, as that was his instrument, so I started off on French Horn. Haha. Ya, that lasted maybe a month or so, then I tried guitar. Nope. Not for me either.

It wasn't until I saw my brother's school jazz band play at my school that I saw an incredible 14 year old drummer playing his jazz on a Slingerland black diamond pearl 4 piece kit. I came home that night and told my parents I WANT TO BE A DRUMMER. THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO PLAY!!

After recovering from the horrified feeling they just felt of having drums in the house, they were finally glad I had found something to do, other than play football and called around to several band parents and music shops and agreed to give me drum lessons. My mom even called the junior high music teacher to inquire about good drum teachers in the area and get some advice on how to approach my interest in drumming.

So they fully supported me and my drumming. For Chrismas of 1972, I was 11 and they gave me my first drum set, which was a Japanese Import, a stencil kit. And they supported me all the way thru public school's music programs, came to see me in marching band, etc.

PS, sorry this is long-winded...
 
T

The Old Hyde

Guest
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

around the age of eleven maybe, my mom out of the blue told me that starting next week I was starting drum lessons. i never even asked. i used to play on upside down outmeal cans and things like that. then after i started lessons, they found a used kit for me and bought it. VERY supportive family. I am heading into the studio tonight at seven and already have facebook messages from all of my family wishing me luck, all these years later.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Like Opentune, I wanted to start when I was young, but my mom wouldn't let me. She believed that you've either got it or you don't, so when I proclaimed my interest, she gave me a test to see if I could keep a beat. I failed. So here I am a beginner at the age of 48. (And I can keep time just fine.) Crazy lady.
High pressure audition lol. Kind of unfair, no disrespect intended. Do you think if you nailed it she would have done anything differently?
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

I am heading into the studio tonight at seven and already have facebook messages from all of my family wishing me luck, all these years later.
Wow that's brilliant! (practicing my English for when I trek on over to the UK in October)

Seriously, to this day, any gig I do is regarded as "you're still doing that?" Even after all these years. Acceptance over things you cannot change is a wonderful thing. As a parent, I think it's wrong to force your children to accommodate what YOU want them to be. Everybody is unique and should be encouraged to be who THEY are, not what the parents WANT them to be.
 
A

Anthony Amodeo

Guest
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

always encouraged by mom
she plays piano, accordion , and sings ...and was always....I mean ALWAYS playing music in the house .
she would always buy me equipment, drive my bands to gigs as a kid , and tell my dad to leave me alone when the noise in the house was getting to him

my old man was a little different
he was a truck driver who worked from 5 AM to 7 PM every night and was not such a huge fan of the noise of me practicing or my bands rehearsing in the basement .
he was an old school, hard working, hard drinking Italian.

that being said...I believe if he was here today he would be proud of the living that I make doing what I love .

to this day mom ....well into her 70s ....is as supportive as she has ever been.....still shows up to gigs when they are close to her .
I actually keep a drum kit set up over at her house because she loves to hear me play drums .....she says it relaxes her ....so when I go over sometimes I mess around on the tubs for a bit
 

Dr_Watso

Platinum Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Other than my grandfather being a fine bag-piper,(awesome) there was little music in my family. I believe I'm the first within a few generations. Arts in general however, were always encouraged, especially by my mother who is also very artistically inclined. My grandmother who passed away recently bought me my first guitars, and I will forever be grateful of that assistance when I was young and couldn't afford anything. Sometimes wish I'd kept at the strings and practiced more, but the call of percussion was just too great after I saw how awesome it could be to jam on drums.

I've noticed that in "musical families" a lot of times, melodic instruments get priority... Drums get a bad wrap sometimes as a simple instrument (that also happens to be loud)...
 

bermuda

Drummerworld Pro Drummer - Administrator
Staff member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

My mom sang and played piano, and my dad played accordion! My brother also played drums, and when he switched to guitar at a young age, I inherited his drums and started lessons (I had just turned 9.)

Both parents were supportive/tolerant of my playing and practicing, which I did with no encouragement needed. Obviously there were rules about not playing too late, or too early on weekends, but I don't recall ever being told to knock it off or take a break.

I know that both were proud when I began playing with my school bandmates, submitting tapes to Dr. Demento, and later gigging around around town and even earning a living drumming by the time I was 20. Soon after, once they saw that the Al gig was moving forward, they knew I was on the musical path I'd always wanted. They're both long gone now, but I'm sure are still proud from beyond. Someday they can tell me in person.

Bermuda
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Hey Watso, I notice that the hat is in every one of your avi's. Is this something that should be delved deeper into? Do you wear one in real life? (this isn't real life here lol). Does it have to be white? Are you balding? It is a cool hat.
 

Xero Talent

Silver Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

When I was 18 and gigging around town, my mom would always be standing right up front by the stage rocking out. She's awesome like that, and has always been a huge supporter of my drumming and music.
 

gmiller598

Senior Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

I'll say no. I initially join the school band in 5th grade as a trombone player but i hated it and my friends were drummers so I switch partway through the year and stuck with it ever since. I never had a drum set the entire time growing up. I filled up high school with band classes and continued in college in the percussion ensemble and marching band along with taking private lessons on various percussion instruments and marched 2 years of drum corps.

I continued teaching high school drumlines for about 12 years after graduation and recently stopped doing that last year due to burnout and time commitments from my real job. Finally, at age 35, I purchased a house and now have the room to put the 4.5 octave marimba in my front room and my first drum set in the basement so I can spend my time doing more personal playing and practicing versus teaching others.
 

8Mile

Platinum Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

My parents have always been supportive.

Both love music. My father messed around with tenor sax when he was younger, but never seriously. My mother sang in choir in school. My dad's record collection included Basie, Ellington and Kenton. My mom joined a record club as a kid and her favorite was Sketches Of Spain.

My mom insisted I save half the money I earned at my part-time jobs when I was a teen. I hated it, but within a couple years, I saved up enough money to buy my own drums. Suddenly, it didn't seem such a bad idea anymore.

My folks tolerated my drumming for years. I kept the drums upstairs in my bedroom. I practiced an insane amount of time. One summer, I averaged 6 to 8 hours per day in that room, just practicing. I don't know how they put up with that. I think the noise occasionally would fluster my dad a bit. But my mom always liked hearing me play. She always said she found it soothing.

My dad lives a bit farther away now so it's not too often he can see me play out. But my mom lives very close by and she still comes to my gigs!
 

Dr_Watso

Platinum Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Hey Watso, I notice that the hat is in every one of your avi's. Is this something that should be delved deeper into? Do you wear one in real life? (this isn't real life here lol). Does it have to be white? Are you balding? It is a cool hat.
I do own a few like that, one is even white with a green strip(I prefer the black with white pin-stripes)... But the original dude-in-hat avatar is just some weird image that I found like 20 years ago and it stayed with me. Something about his expression fits my personality in an odd way. I believe you originally called attention to the hat and Henri ran with it for a while while you were away. There was a whole fish abuse theme for a while that you missed.

In short, I've never been one to dissuade a silly theme. These days, if you see a white brim hat next to a post, you can almost assume the content of the post will be asinine.
 

xsarith

Senior Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

I started playing around 2-3 years go, around 15 years old, I don't know why I started either really. I just remember being 11 and seeing people like Lombardo and Bostaph tearing up these huge monster kits, and I was like, "I wanna do that!"

I asked my mother about learning drums but she said that we couldn't afford them or have them due to neighbors, but when I can I can get a set, she got in touch with the school I was at and got me drum lessons, however I was naive and expected to learn to play fast thrash drumming of the bat, not doing stuff like how to hold a stick and a simple roll and became disheartened about learning to drum. However looking back I wish I kept with the lessons because I know I would be a much better 4 years ago then I am today. When I stopped my mum encouraged me to go back and keep taking lessons and said we'll get you a kit soon, I had made up my mind and stopped.

A few years later I wanted to start again, however this time not only could we not afford a kit but we had just moved and couldn't afford lessons. I saved up every bit of money I could though, and i bought a kit, which I was then told I couldn't play, I discovered you can get drum mute pads for them and told my mum, and she went and bought me some.

I haven't stopped drumming since, and I'm now in a band, my mum has been very supportive about my entire drumming life and band life, she doesn't like it when I'm sat downstairs and I just start tapping on stuff though haha.

As for a line of musicians, as far as I'm aware I was the only musical member of my family instrument wise till I started drumming (except a distant uncle I have never heard of who was a drummer). my brothers then took up the guitar a couple years after I took up drums, i wonder if I may have influenced them at all.
 

opentune

Platinum Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Its interesting the number of people who's moms found their kids drumming as "soothing".
 

DrumEatDrum

Platinum Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

I had it weird. My mom was totally supportive, and so not supportive all at the same time.

I grew up super poor for many years, single child of a single mom. Until around Jr. High school, when my mom went back to school and got her Masters and then got a good job. Then we graduated to middle class. So it was my mom who found a drum teacher and told me I was taking drum lessons, because I kept going around the house playing the intro to Rush's Cignus X-1 on everything.

She bought me my 1st kit, she paid for me to go to PIT. So I was beyond lucky in that regard.

But then after PIT graduation, it got weird. She couldn't understand why I couldn't just open up the paper, find a job listing, and go get a regular 40-hour a week job drumming, like any "regular" career. She never came to my gigs (save 1). There was never any support for my bands. She hounded me to go to college and get a regular degree. Even after I did that (because going to school during the day meant I was free to gig at night), no matter how much record company interest we got, no matter that we got some radio play, no matter how much was going right, there was always that disappointed attitude of "are you still in bands?"

So, I dunno. I never got why she'd sent me to PIT and then not support using that experience.

But that said, I miss her dearly now that she's gone.

I didn't find out until after she died that the guy who knocked her up with me was a drummer. So I suppose that was where some of the weirdness came from; cause he's a *bleeping* loser scum bag.
 

x_25

Member
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Just about everyone in my family has sang in a chior or played an instrament at one point or another. Growing up my mom always had her instraments around for us to play with. Guitar, violin, trumpit and (electric) piano. My father won't let me keep a real kit set up at home due to the noise/space, but an e-kit is fine. My sister plays sax and clarie as well.

My friends parents are really cool though. We practice twice a week in their garage and they even let us store equiptment there.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Re: Your parent's attitude towards your drumming

Wow Ian interesting story. Anyone who can talk about their mother and use the term "knocked her up with me" has both my respect and sympathy lol.
 
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