What do I do?


Senior Member
As far as musically, has your playing gone stagnant? Do you openly and purposely challenge yourself? I did a quick read on the journal that you had linked. Other than the co-worker, I think everyone struggles through a stage somewhat like what you go through. Mine was when my father died, rather unexpectedly, during a routine surgery. It made me realize just how truly short life is. And really, only concern yourself which matters most. I can not tell you what that is, as it can be different for each individual. I am not a professional musician. I saw sheet music (in 1990), but I always challenge myself. I may fail a million times on a piece of music. When I get it done though, it is a very (and truly) happy moment.


Silver Member
Exactly what MaryO says. Let your enthusiasm take you. Don't rationalize a purpose into your playing just yet. You're at a stage where you could go in many directions, and the more open your mind is to them, the more happy you will be when you find your path.

Why do you want to drum? You drum because you love it.

It sounds like you know what you don't want to do [play in bars, orchestras, etc]. Now it's just a matter of finding what you want to do. There are many different directions, and you can go crazy just thinking about the possibilities. The best thing is to play what's comfortable, what will help you grow at the pace you want, and be even-handed in your approach. You might not know what that is right this second, but with more confidence gained, the more willing you'll be to spread your wings.
You came back after all that time. Try not to think about the time lost. Think about that you came back, understand more, and are willing to give it a more concerted effort.

So don't overthink. Just play. It'll all shake out.


Platinum Member
I agree with the others. Quit thinking about it so much and just let what happens happen. I probably will never play in a band or for others, I simply enjoy learing the craft and then sitting in my basement and playing along to music I like. Why? Because it brings me joy and simply makes me happy. Do what makes you happy, the rest will fall into place.

Good luck!


Platinum Member
The answer will simply come to you, what to "do". Whether to make a living at drumming or whatever. Whether to play for people, or not. I agree with the previous post, just do and be, your heart will guide you, and it need not have any deeper meaning, now or ever. Drums can be just fun with no deeper significance. I mean, what is the meaning of life to a squirrel? It simply gathers nuts and gets on with its day, and does the same thing the next day. Most squirrels look pretty damn happy to me.


Platinum Member
Dude, I think you are taking your playing way too seriously. I've been playing 43 yr. because I enjoy it. I haven't played in a band for several yr. but I play nearly every day for my own enjoyment. You should just play whatever instrument and music you like. You can play many genres and many instruments, you don't have to chose just 1. Do what you want to do. For any reason.


Junior Member
This is a question of an existential nature. Why do I drum? What do I want to drum? Where do I want to drum?

I had come back from a trip to Ohio over a year ago, and uhh, it was quite a trip. Many different things happened. I knew that when I came back, I didn't come back as the same person.


That is my trip journal, and that gives you an idea as to why I stopped participating here, and I more or less stopped drumming for about a year, and I started playing didgeridoo about 6 months ago to give me a different avenue that would get me away from westernized, structured music.

And then, about two weeks ago, I made a "mistake." I clicked on one of the links to Cecilia Bartoli, an opera singer, and then another singer, another singer, and here I am, back again. I never, ever thought just a few months ago that I would become interested in opera as far as appreciation goes.

9 years ago, I came back to drumming as a way to reclaim myself, and the first two-plus years were amazing. I learned a lot and even moved two hours away from Austin to play in a rock band for about a year. I see myself having come back to it tonight, and I decided that I wanted to put myself in the same place I was in 9 years ago, when I bought my first drum set in many years. Except now, I've got a completely different foot technique, I've corrected a bad habit in my right hand grip, and I play completely open-handed.

Right now, I feel very lost... I don't know what direction I want to go in, musically. I know I don't want to play bars, because I don't like seeing people destroy their health, especially the musicians I play with. I'm tired of being the only musician who can speak the language of music; "what's a bar, a measure?" I have thought about returning to orchestra music after a 26-year absence, but I'm scared of the straight-jacket approach to music (because I know what it's like and I ran from it to rock as a way to get breathing room).

I watched a singer, or several this evening, and I began to remember that these singers do what they do because they enjoy it, to simply be. I don't know what to do. I feel lost right now, and the very big question comes up - why do I want to play for people? I don't know. I feel like I need help.

Thank you,
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