Weirded out by good vibes lol

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
My band these days plays very few gigs. We played our first one this year today at a breast cancer fundraiser out of town and it reminded me of something that has aways made me uncomfortable.

I was wandering around getting food, having comfort stops, taking in the ambiance etc during the breaks and a number of people I didn't know were smiling at me ... you know how it is, when you see someone play you kind of feel like you know them a bit. It's like being a small faux celebrity for a few hours.

Of course I smile back but I find the interaction feels a bit weird.

It's not a big deal. It was lots of fun playing, fab ambiance, Glenn Shorrock from LRB was there and he said he enjoyed the music, and I got to talk shop with a drummer who was there - a good day all round. I'm just curious to know if I'm alone in feeling a bit weird having strangers smile at you or if others recognise the feeling.
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
So you guys see someone smile at you from several yards away and take that as a cue to walk over and say hi??
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
Yes. But I'm desperate that way ;)
lol - that's pretty cool :) I can't imagine doing that. Have you done a Myers-Briggs personality test? I imagine you would come out as waaay extrovert. According to studies 60% of musicians get an extrovert result in the test.
 

PQleyR

Platinum Member
I don't actually know if I've ever experienced this. I don't think I would mind, I like it when people notice me in a way because it gives me the opportunity to be even more mysterious. The thing I don't like so much is when everyone knows my name and I don't know theirs. That's normally the case though, for some reason people always remember me...
 

GruntersDad

Administrator - Mayor
Staff member
I would take the smile as an approval of what you were playing anf maybe a little of they felt like they knew you or now know of you.
 

Dr_Watso

Platinum Member
Usually when I get weird looks like that at a show, it's another drummer... I try to go say hi, too. Haven't met a drummer yet who didn't want to talk shop for a bit.
 

8Mile

Platinum Member
Yeah, I can identify with Neil Peart when he says he appreciates the attention but is embarrassed by it at the same time. I'd like to think I don't respond awkwardly, but inside, it does feel weird.

Luckily, I don't get smiled at very often.
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
lol - that's pretty cool :) I can't imagine doing that. Have you done a Myers-Briggs personality test? I imagine you would come out as waaay extrovert. According to studies 60% of musicians get an extrovert result in the test.
Then that should be you too ;)
 

brentcn

Platinum Member
Usually when I get weird looks like that at a show, it's another drummer... I try to go say hi, too. Haven't met a drummer yet who didn't want to talk shop for a bit.
Yep, we're a talkative bunch! During the day at an outdoor festival, people tend to be in an especially friendly mood. What's more is that I think non-musos think we're a bit like magicians or something. They don't quite understand how we do what we do, or how we're brave enough to do it in front of people, so it's naturally intriguing to them. You'll probably get more funny looks if you look weirded out by the attention, though. After all, you did just perform on a stage!

It's got to be a bit different for a woman, though, where your friendliness might come off as flirtatious. Did you guys play Man's World? ;)
 

NC68

Senior Member
I'm just curious to know if I'm alone in feeling a bit weird having strangers smile at you or if others recognise the feeling.
Definitely.

When I was almost out of college I attended a job fair. For those unfamiliar, it is a big gathering of employers from various firms that affords the soon-to-be-college-graduate the opportunity to submit their resumes, discuss available employment opportunities, etc.

I was dressed in a nice suit and proceeded to mill about traveling from one booth to another. It soon became apparent that while I visited each booth the company representatives seemed unusually cheerful and smiled an awful lot at me. I thought, "Damn, my charm is certainly killing it today - I am on a roll!".

After about 2 hours at numerous booths I walked out feeling like I owned the place. That was until I looked down and noticed my fly had been open the entire time. Strangely enough not one prospective employer ever contacted. A true and humbling story. Now if too many people are smiling at me - which almost never happens - I start checking my fly.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Oh man how embarrassing NC. Reminds me of the time I tried to hit on someone at a fast food place...only to discover later that I had a big blob of hot fudge sundae on my face lol.

Pol, I can relate to how you feel. It's a social anxiety thing. I get it too sometimes. It's no crime if someone smiles your way to walk over and initiate a conversation. Just ask them if they are enjoying themselves. I find this much easier to do after I've just played a set than if I am just another attendee. If you were just another attendee, you probably wouldn't be getting the smile. You're right, they feel like they know you a little. So you're ahead of the game. You are feeling what sounds to me like a form of "offstage fright" lol. IMO you should take social risks when you feel like that.
But I can relate.
 

eamesuser

Silver Member
I think people do feel like they know you a little bit after they watch you play,and most people usually think a lady playing an instrument that is not played a lot by women is cool,especially other women,very supportive of a lady performing at the same level in what a lot of times is considered a male dominated domain.Plus if you give out good vibes you usually get them back.
 

Neil

Senior Member
So you guys see someone smile at you from several yards away and take that as a cue to walk over and say hi??
I'm English, someone smiles at me from several yards away, I awarkardly smile back and immediantly become suspicious.
 

baz

Silver Member
...I am used to them smiling when I walk towards them,

then laughing after I walk past them.

Barry
 

LeftoverPenguin

Senior Member
lol - that's pretty cool :) I can't imagine doing that. Have you done a Myers-Briggs personality test? I imagine you would come out as waaay extrovert. According to studies 60% of musicians get an extrovert result in the test.
I'm definitely in that other 40%. I'm fine and dandy if people come up to me and we start a conversation, but I don't believe I've ever gone up to someone I didn't know during/after a show.
 
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