Rebounding from dismissal

rogue_drummer

Gold Member
I was recently (last Tuesday) dismissed from my drumming job I have held for 7 months, only to be replaced by another drummer. No reason was given as to why, just words saying I have been replaced and there is no need to show up for Wednesday's rehearsal.

This was strickly a volunteer job, no pay, no expense reimbursement, etc. I was simply playing drums in a praise band to "give something back" so to speak. All of the compliments and encouragement led me to believe I was doing OK.

Those of you who have been fired or dismissed from a gig or band, how have you oversome it and moved on? I'm finding it very hard to let this thing go.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank!
 

Aleks192

Junior Member
Hasn't happened to me, but what kind of hardcore "praise" band does that?? Sorry to hear, move on and kick some ass with another group of people! It'll only make you better in the end
 

drummydude

Senior Member
I personally think what they did to you was very unethical. But we're talking about the music business. Not exactly a business that always practices good ethics, and obviously this stands true even in praise bands.

I think you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on drumming. Don't let this get the best of you. Go out and find another praise band that you can help out. I'm sure there's one around that could use a hand. (or two) I also believe that the seemingly negative things that happen in our life happens for a reason. If you keep your spirit and enthusiasm, you'll see that the best is yet to come. Hang in there bro!
 
Wow, I'm always amazed at the number of times I hear of this happening in praise bands. Though I've always thought the behind-the-back replacement was unethical in any band. It's kind of like walking into a McDonalds and telling the manager "I can flip burgers better than that guy, I want you to fire him."

A praise band should be inclusive, not competitive. Most worship songs aren't technically demanding, so there's no reason to exclude anyone based on chops (or whatever reason they had). I actually learned most of my guitar chops (such as they are) through a praise band experience.... I joined a new church and wanted to play in the band, but the drummer was a former student of mine. I probably could have asked for an audition, but instead decided to finally put some work into my guitar playing. I came in as the "3rd guitar", just strumming simple chords in the background, but it was a great experience, and I actually found out I could do a half-decent vocal harmony in the process, so in the end I had become a better musician and person in more than one way.

The point of my rambling is, it's obvious this isn't the kind of group you want to be in if you're looking to actively worship and "give back". There are plenty of praise bands out there (with the ethics befitting a praise band) that I'm sure would love to have you. Sounds like one of those situations that will lead you to a better place, and make you a better person in the end.
 

canada_rokzz

Senior Member
We have never done that in my band. Its flaky guitar players that seem to fall off the end of the earth... And leave their gear behind! One guy "quit" 3 years ago, and left a Randal 4x12" slant and a vintage all tube head behind, along with his brothers mexican P bass... Never called, no forwarding address, nothing! His parents know where he is but he won't return calls to them... (he is just over 40)

back to the subject at hand!

Umm, did you talk to the band members to see what was going on?

  • Did you make scheduled jam days/nights
  • Is there bad blood between you and another member(s)
  • Did you suddenly stop bringing coffee and doughnuts to jams
  • Personality clash?
  • Does she/he love Jesus more? (kidding... I am an athiest...)
 

Unevil

Member
Did they boot you up front or with a phone call? Either way, it is cold just booting you out with no explanation as to why--like earlier mentioned, praise bands don't really require excessive drumming.
 

mrchattr

Gold Member
Sorry to hear that, dude. There are a couple things I wonder. First of all, how are you as a drummer? Are you really steady, tempo-wise? Can you get through whole sets of music without any major mistakes? Are you careful about not over-playing? Praise bands have a job, and the #1 priority in that job is to not be a distraction.

Also, had they tried to talk to you about stuff to improve on? One big problem I've seen in churches is that leaders don't want to come across as harsh, so they make "subtle suggestions." They want to say, "Ok, dude, your tempo was all over the place, and the 2800 fills you played in a 2 minute ballad just didn't work," but instead they say, "Hey! Great job. Really nice work. I can see you have some awesome chops. Maybe just try to be a little more controlled, but overall, that was fantastic." This is not the right way to handle it, of course, but it happens, until they are so frustrated, asking the other praise team members, "Why doesn't he get it?" when you are telling people at home, "The worship leader gave me 100 compliments tonight!"

The best thing you can do is sit down with the person who made the decision, and ask them why. It might be ridiculous. The only time I was almost ever fired from a worship team was when I was playing harmonica for one. They decided that I moved around too much (I tend to dance...kind of sway...not like flat out dance, when I play). There was a whole meeting with the church counsel to decide whether or not they wanted me to keep playing, that I was not informed of. They agreed that I should, but when I found out about all that, I just quit. Another time, at the same church, I was drumming, and afterwards was being goofy with some friends in the car next to me, making faces and stuff (nothing obscene). The person behind us decided that I was trying to fight with them, doing the road-rage thing, and thus called the church and complained. I had to explain it, and the people in the other car were questioned, before I was allowed back on stage.

On the other hand, it might be a real reason. You might have things that you need to work on and don't even realize it. So, sit down with the guy, find out why he fired you, and then, if they are valid musical reasons, work on them. If they are stupid stuff like I listed above, then laugh about it, and join a praise band that isn't so focused on stupid crap.
 

aydee

Platinum Member
I was recently (last Tuesday) dismissed from my drumming job I have held for 7 months, only to be replaced by another drummer. No reason was given as to why, just words saying I have been replaced and there is no need to show up for Wednesday's rehearsal.

This was strickly a volunteer job, no pay, no expense reimbursement, etc. I was simply playing drums in a praise band to "give something back" so to speak. All of the compliments and encouragement led me to believe I was doing OK.

Those of you who have been fired or dismissed from a gig or band, how have you oversome it and moved on? I'm finding it very hard to let this thing go.

Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank!
I'm sorry, bud but no reason to get so down. The funny thing about music, and playing and bands etc.. is that 50% of the time its never about the music or playing or ability etc.

It get to be about egos, jealosies, people not getting along, bad vibes, and lots of completely non-musical reasons.

I really wouldn't take it to heart. If you have the stomach for it, a good thing would be for you to confront them ( for your own piece of mind ) and ask them point blank what the problem was.
 

rogue_drummer

Gold Member
I think it has more to do with ego than anything else.

You see, our leader plays lead guitar and doesn't allow anyone else to solo, except himself. We have two solid singers, a piano player / rhythm guitar player / utlity percussionist, a bass player just learning the bass after just learning the guitar, me on drums, and our "leader" who plays lead.

1) This dude never counts off the band when he starts a new song - in rehearsals or worship service,
2) never allows any other musician to solo - even though we have good amatuer musicians willing to explore and experiment,
3) seems confused when asked questions about measures, counting, etc. Since I have NO music whatsoever to go by, only lyrics, I often ask when and what measure he wants to drums begin - after his intro solo - or what measure he wants a particular fill. When he says, "just play here", I ask what measure so I can count. Drummers are into counting, right?
4) we only rehearse a new song maybe twice before we play it in worship service, so it has the other band members nervous as well.
5) this leader wants us to listen to the CDs he has made of the songs. I listen and map out the drum parts according to what is basically on the CD, only to get in rehearsals and find out he wants the drum part played differently for what is on the CD or to not play at all, because he wants a driving 4/4 rock song sung softly as a ballad. Hence, no drum part is played. That is after I've spent an hour or two mapping out a drum part for that song and listening and practicing to get a feel for the song.
6) Continuously cuts rehearsal times short from our stated 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm rehearsal time because he's "tired from his day job and wants to go home". This leaves the rest of us hanging.
7) Continuously complemented me on my playing, but NEVER even suggested what I need to work on. I ask, but the answer I received from him was "don't worry about it, it sounds good!", or the beat was perfect.
8) The CD he gave us to listen to, 1/3 of the songs do not work since they are in a screwed up format. Our rhythm guitar player has mentioned the same thing - he has troulbe with the formatting.

My faults:
1) sometimes my beat wanders in rehearsal on a song I've never heard since the CD doesn't work. And everyone knows that I am working on it. Practicing to an electric metronome.
2) sometimes my drumming is too loud, since the auditorium is all brink or bare walls. And I ask about it, and am told by the leader "don't worry about it, it sounds fine".

What would any normal, prudent person think?????


What I've heard is this turd-of-a-leader has recorded in Nashville with his main band. Suffice to say, all during school and in college every band I've been in has been recorded by professionals, so "being recorded in Nashville" really means nothing to me.

After just starting back into drumming after a 20 plus year layoff because I got sick and tired of egos and egotisim, I've been drumming for 2 years now. Our original praise band leader "hired" me after an afternoon audition in September '08. I was invited to play with the band and become the drummer. NEVER had any ego problems, ect. with this kind individual.

That's about it. Thanks for letting me bitch.

Please offer up any comments, etc. Thanks!

- rogue
 
Sounds like your looking for some closure. Ask one of the more agreeable guys why you were fired. If you do though dont take it to heart. Good luck man.
 

rogue_drummer

Gold Member
Thank you. This has been tough, but the Drummerworld community came through again with wonderful advice. Thanks everyone!

- David
 

criz p. critter

Silver Member
I agree, it sounds like you're better off without that guy and his ego! I understand that you'd like to know a "reason" why you were fired, but realize that with a self-centered guy like that it'll probably not be a reasonable reason! Just keep it in perspective: you're playing music to have a good time, not deal with jerks. And life isn't always fair. Sometimes the bad guys win. Better to just move on in a situation like that, look for the next, better gig.

I think you'll be feeling better about this after a little time has passed.
 
Anyone who has played for a while will have an experience like yours. As others have already said, I think you are better off finding some new musicians to play with. Yes, calmly asking "why?" and listening to and accepting the answer, whatever it may be, is a good idea.

After reading this, I felt compelled to share a story from a friend on the same subject. He's a great guy and a great drummer.

This friend, I'll call him Jon, was playing with a blues trio from Louisiana in the early 90s, had finished a demo, and was preparing for a full-on album recording in the near future. Not too long before the recording sessions, he was suddenly fired with no explanation and no communication thereafter. He was shocked and destroyed after this but found out later that he had been replaced with none other than...Gregg Bissonette.

About a year later, Gregg was in town with his own band and Jon went to see them play. Jon was able to hang out with him before they took the stage. Gregg knew of Jon's playing from the demo he had received before the recording sessions and praised him on his drumming. This of course made Jon feel better about loosing the gig.

But, the best part was during Gregg's band's show. In the middle of the set, Gregg called Jon up on stage. After an introduction, he turned the throne over to him. Gregg then grabbed Jon's camera, and took pictures of Jon playing with the other guys in his band! Hats off to Gregg and his generous gesture.

The crushing experience turned into one he will never forget and a great story to be told on the Drummer World forum some 15+ years later. And, it made Jon a better player and person. He went on to join a very successful band and toured all over the US and Europe over the next several years.

True story. Humiliating experiences do turn out nicely.

P.S. I've lost touch with "Jon". If you read this, please PM me. Thanks.

ddd
 

spirit

Senior Member
Mate this can be a very bad experiance,if you let it be!
Pick it up and believe in yourself.........your future is in your hands, think of it this way, you can now reach for other things, have time to practice, try working on some stle you dont play in the main, listen to that music and you will come alive when you find what you can do!
Nothing picks you up better then practice, I use my old I pod and will spend a day on 2 numbers. working on timing, precision, dynamics etc. Try that mate- you will feel great!
Good luck.
H
 
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