Observations of what the different sexes look for in music

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
I'll give you an example.

My wife has no use, no use at all mind you, for leads. She wants to hear vocals, and the minute the guitarist or soloist takes a lead, she loses interest. Even a great slide guitar lead, she's like "what's the point?" She really does not care for any instrumentals we do.
Now I know that guys love a great solo that they can air guitar to, because I'm a guy.
I was wondering if my wife is typical of the majority of womens views on guitar, keyboard, drum, or horn solos. In other words do most womens eyes glaze over when it's lead solo time or do they enjoy it as much as us guys.
Any thoughts or obs?
 

Gethsemane

Member
From what I noticed, every woman likes music if it had words throughout 3/4 of the song. I tried to play "Politik" by Coldplay in the car once and after the first minute without words, my mom changed it. Yet she and many other women will listen to "Any Way You Want It" like it's the best song ever. I think that may be why many women don;t like to listen to metal bands like Opeth and Dream Theater because of the long instrumental parts that guys love.
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
Sexism aside, because you're making the assumption that ALL females look for the same thing in music which is opposite what the males like, this situation is the culmination of generations of women being taught or told that they shouldn't like it, or implied that they don't have the brains to get it, etc.,....insert a sexist statement here....

I don't think that way, and I know lots of women who are more intense in what they like about music, and many of them are awesome musicians too!

But it's weird when you sort of study society and you see that little girls are given dolls and boys are given technical toys (like trucks or planes, or rockets) which sets the boys up for being analytical and technically curious, and girls are trained to like "emotional" things (good term?)

It's a wonder there are any females at all that do or like anything super-technical, but it's good that they're out there!

Anyway, that's why I think there's the perception that females are more "into the song" - which would also indicate that females are "big picture" people, and men are "anal retentive detail people". A yin and yang situation. If you pair a female and male together, as a team they can move forward because one is obsessed with details, and the other makes sure the entire job gets done (hence, the "honey-do" list).

If you think regular rock n roll is a stretch, try taking your wives or girlfriends to a King Crimson concert. My wife loves those guys, but we saw several females in the audience that were wondering why their male friends brought them there in the first place!
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Bo, your first sentence is not at all what I implied, I'm assuming nothing. I'm not sexist, but I do believe that there are definitely differences between women and men. I merely asked if what my wife prefers is common or typical of the females general outlook on music, if there is such a thing.
Your King Crimson concert observations seem to support my wifes take on things, but I don't know if she is in the majority or not.
 

Mandala

Member
i don't think sex has anything to do with it.
Many people look for music that's heavy on vocals because thorugh vocals they can relate. Whether it be to a situation, a person, or just an escape for their own lives, they look for a connection to make. That's why pop songs are so popular. Obviously this isn't always the case, but more often than not, it is.
Personally, I think that's a pretty dumb reason to enjoy music, but others might disagree.
Like it or not, it is what it is.
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
Sorry Larry, I'm not implying you're a sexist. My apologies.

However, when people are grouped together, it's inferring some kind of "-ism". But in general what you say is true. A majority of people will not be moved by the intricacies of the musicianship (why it's a predominantly male audience at Joe Satriani's G3 shows, proves this statement). Perhaps we should say that a majority of the planet are not and will never be musicians, therefore can only relate to songs by the words, and possibly the beat with bass line?

That's why lighting is so important, or having flames shoot out of the guitar, or flying the drummer around the arena....it's rare these days when I can find a group of teenagers that can actually sit and listen to a 4 minute song on the radio all the way through without talking about something else. Hell, even watching YouTube, nobody comments on drummers who post videos that only groove (even though that's what you're paid to do 97% of the time). It's always some showy thing that gets peoples' attention, isn't it?
 

DrumEatDrum

Platinum Member
I'll give you an example.

My wife has no use, no use at all mind you, for leads. She wants to hear vocals, and the minute the guitarist or soloist takes a lead, she loses interest. Even a great slide guitar lead, she's like "what's the point?" She really does not care for any instrumentals we do.
Now I know that guys love a great solo that they can air guitar to, because I'm a guy.
I was wondering if my wife is typical of the majority of womens views on guitar, keyboard, drum, or horn solos. In other words do most womens eyes glaze over when it's lead solo time or do they enjoy it as much as us guys.
Any thoughts or obs?
My wife is similar. When we met, she actually owned more CDs than I did, so she's a huge music fan, but she doesn't care for leads.

I've seen Dream Theater maybe 15-20 times, and every time, the line for the mens room is a mile long, while the womens room is near empty. Sure, there are some exceptions; I've known a few female Dream Theater fans here and there, but most prog seems to attract a mostly male audience.

Why, I dunno.
 

aydee

Platinum Member
More than sexes, I thing the world in general looks for lyrics and choruses mostly.

But I do I agree, most of the ladies in my life ( I dont mean to sound like Casanova..) are programmed that way too.

I cant remember too many that went " Did you hear that lick?? I MEAN DID YOU HEAR THAT LICK??!!!" But then I never dated Jennifer Batten or Sheila E.
..
 

Thaard

Platinum Member
I remember seeing a Chick Corea concert on youtube. There were a lot of middle-aged men and teenagers digging the music, while their wives/girlfriends looked completely uninterested.
 

bobdadruma

Platinum Member
My wife likes classical music.
I like classical music but it's not my first choice.

I love Real Jazz, Bop, and Big Band.
My wife hates it. She will listen to some Smooth Jazz now and then for just a short time period.

My wife likes Rock and Pop tunes but none that I like with just a few exceptions.

I love Blues.
My wife hates Blues.
 

azrae1l

Silver Member
i really don't think you can some it up to just women. i know guys and girls that won't listen to a song if it dosn't have lyrics and i know guys and girls that both get into the playing more then vocals..... about even i'd say...
 

Pocket-full-of-gold

Platinum Member
Larry, I gave up trying to figure out what women think a long, long time ago.....whether it be music or any other aspect of life.....I've just found it to be an exercise in futility.

What goes on in Mrs Pocket's head is god's own private mystery, although it's certainly fair to say that she does not take the same things away from music that I do. :)
 
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Pollyanna

Platinum Member
Anyway, that's why I think there's the perception that females are more "into the song" - which would also indicate that females are "big picture" people, and men are "anal retentive detail people". A yin and yang situation. If you pair a female and male together, as a team they can move forward because one is obsessed with details, and the other makes sure the entire job gets done (hence, the "honey-do" list).

If you think regular rock n roll is a stretch, try taking your wives or girlfriends to a King Crimson concert. My wife loves those guys, but we saw several females in the audience that were wondering why their male friends brought them there in the first place!
Bo, I think you hit it on the button. Good to see there's another woman out there who likes KC. They've never been to Oz but if they did I always imagined I'd be the only woman there of my own volition :)

I find different modes of my like different music. The muso me likes a lot of muso music, the drummer me likes drummy music, while the rest of me is a sucker for a great melody or charmed by some tiny (possibly accidental) nuance of phrasing by a vocalist.

It might be helpful to think of approaches to music as masculine/feminine rather than male/female (which implies a black and white situation). Everyone has masculine/feminine aspects within their personality in different proportions. Even my Ozzie mate PFOG will inevitably have some feminine aspects somewhere within that seemingly impervious male skull of his :)
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
Bo, I think you hit it on the button. Good to see there's another woman out there who likes KC. They've never been to Oz but if they did I always imagined I'd be the only woman there of my own volition :)

I find different modes of my like different music. The muso me likes a lot of muso music, the drummer me likes drummy music, while the rest of me is a sucker for a great melody or charmed by some tiny (possibly accidental) nuance of phrasing by a vocalist.

It might be helpful to think of approaches to music as masculine/feminine rather than male/female (which implies a black and white situation). Everyone has masculine/feminine aspects within their personality in different proportions. Even my Ozzie mate PFOG will inevitably have some feminine aspects somewhere within that seemingly impervious male skull of his :)
I get it, Polly. So being a performer of music must make us all neurotic because we're trying to make everybody happy so they keep drinking at the bar so we get to keep the gig!
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
My wife likes classical music.
I like classical music but it's not my first choice.

I love Real Jazz, Bop, and Big Band.
My wife hates it. She will listen to some Smooth Jazz now and then for just a short time period.

My wife likes Rock and Pop tunes but none that I like with just a few exceptions.

I love Blues.
My wife hates Blues.
And you're still married! Incredible! ;)
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
I can listen to a great solo, and really get transported, listening to how it is constructed, built upon, and eventually ramped up to a great crescendo and finished. It's a whole musical journey. That's why it dumbfounds me that she doesn't see it the way I do.

I guess it all comes down to personal tastes.
 

bobdadruma

Platinum Member
I never even know the lyrics to songs. The lyrics are the least important thing to me about a song.
When I play with my band the lyrics sound like Charlie Brown's teacher when she speaks to him.
I treat them as a voice of another instrument in the band. They are just a melody to me.

Is that a man thing? Or is that a stupid Bobdadruma thing?
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Oh man the lyrics are important.
Sounds like you need better monitors Bob, Charlie Browns teacher ha ha.

I remember playing BB King's "The Thrill Is Gone" in one of my earlier crap bands..
The bass player's line was just way too happy and upbeat.
I'm like "Dude, this is a sad song, lay back and stop playing so happy!"
Fell on deaf ears. He was one of these guys that filled every available space with something. What a hammer.
I used to tell him, "A rest is a musical statement" and "After the gig, go home and Google dynamics!"
 
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