I GUESS IT NEVER STOPS

Joe Morris

DRUMMERWORLD PRO DRUMMER
So thought you guys might appreciate this. I was at a practice for an upcoming gig going over like 30 tunes. Long story short the rhythm guitar player started yelling at me. Telling me I should use a click on every tune and the tempos on some tunes were faster than the record. Lots of original stuff here not covers and I played on the record. I was taken back for a moment. Most people are so grateful I'm on their gig and I say that with no ego at all. Truly at my age and my career most people are really nice to me. I don't have a problem with someone giving me direction and telling me what they want, that's one of my trademarks everyone knows I'm easy to work with, but this dude was seriously man he was YELLING at me. It went off and on for like 30 minutes when I finally said "hey man are you having a bad day or something, is it that time of the month for you or what? I had a few other choice words for him that I won't mention here. Then I simply stated that if he continued with his abuse I was going to pack up and head home. It wasen't even his gig, he's just another band member.

I said its cool just tell me what tunes you want to slow down and what tunes to pick up a little. There is a difference usually between show tempos and record tempos. Show tempos are usually a bit faster because of adrenalin and such. He had a problem with two tunes!!!!! So I fixed them. LOL Still amazes me how people can be sometimes. He since called and apologized to me after the gig last week and told me how much he likes playing with me. Its to bad because the dude who's band it is really appreciates me playing drums for him and is a super nice guy. Long story short. I quit!!! I kept my cool as much as possible at practice and tried to be a pro, and I was. I mean I didn't get off the drums and pound his face in like I wanted to. LOL> but I made a decision a long time ago. NO one talks to me that way. Its not worth it and it was a club gig suppose to be a just for fun band. Not fun, NO drums. lOL After it was all over I was laughing to myself because I thought hey this would be a good drummerworld thread. It never stops. Why do some people think its ok to yell at the drummer.
 

Galadrm

Senior Member
I reckon it must have just been his time of the month! haha

But it is never nice when one member of a band becomes angered with another, and it is very unproductive. I always stress in my band that communication is the key when we are in rehearsal or playing a gig. Communication includes listening, speaking ones mind, sharing ideas and also respect towards each other when someone is sharing their ideas or speaking their mind. I believe this way our band can be most productive, because any negativity just slows down our advancement and ability to come up with ideas.

Anyway, I agree that you definitely should have walked out the group, and I would have done exactly the same thing. Anyone taking their anger out on another bandmate is just disrespectful and unproductive and most of all unprofessional.
 

Shild

Member
Yeah, don't take that from a dime a dozen rhythm guitar player. Don't forget us drummers are much harder to find than those guitar players! Unless you're using a Fisher Price drum kit and he has an awesome 4x12 stack with a tube head, that guy has no right to talk to you like that...
 

latzanimal

Silver Member
I once had a drunken former drummer turned singer tell me he didn't think I knew where 2 & 4 were, which was pretty ironic considering 75-80% of our entire night was sequenced with a click....
 

Duck Tape

Platinum Member
I started going to a jam group that was advertised online, it was a pretty diverse mix of musicians, some amateurs, some professionals, all ages.

I played for the song, didn't solo or play extended fills, but of course if I wanted to have fun with it I would try and make it fun for myself, a few ghost notes, a bit of syncopation, nothing overboard (you'll have to trust me on that). They were old pop songs, I'd be pretty bored if I didn't.

Every week someone would pay me a nice compliment, ask me if I'd like to start something, and I was really happy to hear it but the last time I went, the guy running the show (a cover band veteran of sorts) started telling me that I was 'too fast', 'too slow', 'too busy', 'wrong groove', and to me it was clear he was singling me out, especially when he set the tempo and I stuck to it. I gathered that he wanted me to play simple as possible, no ghost notes, really crotchety, devoid of personality, but there was more to it, he definitely had some problem, and it was his problem not mine.

Ayrton Senna once said in an interview that the moment you don't try and make a pass you're no longer a race car driver, or something to that effect. I think the same thing about drums, if you don't assert yourself a little then you're not a drummer. I think a drummer should be able to express himself just as much as any guitarist or singer, and everyone's equal.. I'm there to hold a groove but I'm not a drum machine. And I'm not going back to that jam group (he's invited me back a few times but I'll let him figure it why I'm not responding).
 

Joe Morris

DRUMMERWORLD PRO DRUMMER
All you have to do is be respectful. Thats all. I would have done whatever he wanted and everything would have been cool. No way I let anyone yell at me. This is a band I played in when not touring or in the studio for fun because pretty much the leader asked me if I would do some live local gigs after the cd was done. I was nice enough to say sure because I thought hey this could be fun. I didn't do it for the money, dig? I did it to have some fun with a few studio cats. The guy that is doing the yelling was the engineer on the cd, he plays guitar on the side pretty much. he's a great engineer and a decent guitar player but come on man. I just thought it was kind of funny being yelled at by a local dude that never tours or anything even close to that. Local bar kind of guy, which is fine as long as you don't yell at me. lol.

By the way the band played so stiff on the gig it wasen't even funny. Everyone was so trying to make it perfect it sucked!! Me included. No groove. He asked me during the gig if I was having fun. Because my thing to him was chill this is suppose to be fun for us. I said no, see what you did. You killed the vibe man, maybe on the last gig some tempo's were a bit fast but hey you know what. It was grooving and the band killed that night. Tonight is stiff and no groove. Vibe kills a band man, for sure.
 

BacteriumFendYoke

Platinum Member
If I were in the position of the employing artist, I would have sacked the rhythm guitarist there and then on the spot. Your playing and reputation demand respect and you obviously know the tunes. Somebody being deliberately provocative like that at a rehearsal is just not worth anyone's time and it's not like you're an amateur on an ego trip!

Ridiculous.
 

Anon La Ply

Renegade
By the way the band played so stiff on the gig it wasen't even funny. Everyone was so trying to make it perfect it sucked!! Me included. No groove. He asked me during the gig if I was having fun. Because my thing to him was chill this is suppose to be fun for us. I said no, see what you did. You killed the vibe man, maybe on the last gig some tempo's were a bit fast but hey you know what. It was grooving and the band killed that night. Tonight is stiff and no groove. Vibe kills a band man, for sure.
Joe, did you have any thoughts on why the band was so hung up on perfection?

Was there a producer they were hoping to impress? Were they trying to polish the tunes up for an upcoming recording? Competing with sequenced music in the genre? Personal insecurity? Aspergers? OCD?

:)
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Why do some people think it's OK to yell at the drummer? That question has been a thorn in my side for some time now...Perhaps it's because drummers don't yell back?

Joe, you said you quit, but you did the gig anyway? So was that the last gig you'll do with that band?

See even at your level this happens. I will never understand this. Granted, the guy isn't at your level. But you would think he might have some respect that you are at a level higher than him.

Hmm, maybe that's it right there. You are doing better than him, so in an attempt to try and preserve the pecking order that guitarists outrank drummers, he felt he was justified. Like in his mind, any drummer, famous or not, is still beneath him.

Any person who wrongfully downs a drummer must be very insecure with themselves and are likely fraught with personal issues. I'm just gonna go with that for now.
 

keep it simple

Platinum Member
All you have to do is be respectful. Thats all.
Vibe kills a band man, for sure.
Yes, & yes Joe. Sorry to hear this guy acted disrespectfully. TBH, even if it was "his" band, I still wouldn't take that.

As for the band's performance - agreed. Nothing spills off stage more powerfully than mood. A band playing technically brilliantly can go down badly if the audience isn't picking up a good vibe. I've seen that happen many times. On the flip side, I've seen many bands of mediocre ability, absolutely nail the vibe & get a superb audience reaction. When will muso's learn that it's all about the performance, & great performances only happen against a background of having a good time.
 

KarlCrafton

Platinum Member
Personal insecurity? Aspergers? OCD? :)
Here my take, since I do have Aspergers.
In THIS senerio, the Aspergers would kick in from the person being yelled at for unprovoked reasons.

If the guitar player felt that "the drummer" was deliberately trying to mess things up, to make them or the band look bad, they'd start yelling. BUT, it would usually happen if it was on a gig (again, if the person felt they were made to look bad) not on a rehearsal.
--Just throwing my 2 cents in on that.

Yelling because something is a bit off--even though the drummer played on the tracks, is just being an asshat.

Double asshat because it was just a rehearsal, NOT a show, complaints really on only 2 songs, and NOT by the person WHO'S BAND IT IS.

OK, there are some "local" players that are at a higher level of ability, and just because they don't tour for whatever reason, doesn't mean their opinion shouldn't be heard, or taken into consideration.
BUT, if they are yelling at someone who IS a touring pro, consistently records, and has been around the block more than a few times, jeeze, don't make such a big friggin' deal about a couple slight tempo "deviations" that can be adjusted easily anyway.
He could have just come up to the drums, and done the visual cue thing to pick it up a little, or lay back little, WTF is the big deal?

It's up to the LEADER of the band to determine what is acceptable on tempos for recording vs. live, so IF there was a question, bring it up to that person.

If I was the band leader, I'd be seriously bummed, and at the very least have a "talk" with the guy. After a "dude, WTF?" after it happened in front of everyone else.

Joe, did the band leader try to talk you out of leaving?
 

Joe Morris

DRUMMERWORLD PRO DRUMMER
Just to clarify some of the questions. Yes the band leader is still asking me to stay. There is another gig in November he wants me to do. He was already pleading with me on the gig. yes I did the gig because it practice was on tuesday and the gig was saturday. No matter what went down I didn't want to leave them stranded so of course I did the gig. And yes that was the last gig I will do.

I just posted this because i was surprised to get yelled at. I even thought in my mind man this isn't really happening is it. But hey it happened. Just thought I would let everyone know that hey even I get yelled at. I guess that was really the point. Share a quick story with you.

I went to see BB King open for Jeff Beck a few years back. You all know I was there to see Bozio at the time. Anyway in the middle of BB Kings performance he just stopped a tune right in the middle. Everyone in the band looked stunned. He got on the mic and looked back at the drummer and said "son I'm old don't rush me" Then he counted the tune off again. I almost crapped my pants. This was infront of like 10 thousand people. Everyone laughed but I didn't . I felt so bad for that drummer. he just hung his head. There was totally no call for that, so I guess it could have been much worse.
 

keep it simple

Platinum Member
I went to see BB King open for Jeff Beck a few years back. You all know I was there to see Bozio at the time. Anyway in the middle of BB Kings performance he just stopped a tune right in the middle. Everyone in the band looked stunned. He got on the mic and looked back at the drummer and said "son I'm old don't rush me" Then he counted the tune off again. I almost crapped my pants. This was infront of like 10 thousand people. Everyone laughed but I didn't . I felt so bad for that drummer. he just hung his head. There was totally no call for that, so I guess it could have been much worse.
That's unreal! A "ground, please swallow me up now" moment :(
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Joe, do you think that the Mr. Kings drummer would have been justified in requesting, after the show of course, that any future corrections be done off mic? I do. I feel the drummer had a right to state to Mr. King that he felt publicly embarrassed, and to request that Mr. King refrain from such behavior in the future. I don't feel that is being out of line, Mr. King deserved it IMO. You just don't do that onstage.

I got embarrassed by a bandleader onstage once. We were just about to kick off the first tune of the night, the place was dead quiet, all eyes on us, a pin drop moment, and the leader turns around and says to me, Hey uh, Larry, do you have to go to the bathroom? I was mortified but played it off, I said, "No Paul I'm cool"

The next day I blasted him with both barrels in an email. BL-ASTED him. That felt really great I have to admit.
 
T

The Old Hyde

Guest
Being yelled at is almost funny. It's so out of place. To Joes credit he remiained a true professional and not only didnt kick the guys ass, but fufilled his gig obligation instaed of leaving them all hi and dry.

BB should have handled that a little better. He only playes a few noted here and there anyway. He should have said something between songs..NEVER STOP!!! I screwed up a song with a lot of changes by going into the up tempo part a verse early and as soon as i did it I felt the collapse. The band all turned around and I knew what I did but need a couple of more beats to change back and the freakin bass player stops. We could have saved it, but by stopping, and pointing out that I screwed up ruined it for everybody.
 

8Mile

Platinum Member
I never get yelled at, but I'm just a part-timer, so I have the luxury of choosing to work only with people where there's mutual respect involved.

I don't take well to getting yelled at. I'm patient and I think I usually take constructive criticism well, but me and anyone yelling at me are going to exchange words and maybe more.
 

SkaaDee

Member
People "need" an identifiable group to funnel their self-loathing.
It's out of vogue to use race, religion, sexual orientation, social standing
or even political affiliation. For some people, the drummer is still fair game
and they are shocked when others are not on the same page.

...blonde jokes and drummer jokes...

That may be the trap this fellow fell into.





A blonde drummer would be doomed.
I suppose even drummers would even pick on her.
 

PDL

Senior Member
There's no excuse you did right.

People come to rehearsal with worldly bagage - job worries, wife/partner/family stress etc but that's no excuse to cause trouble because a song maybe a few bpm out. The easy tack is to say "Hey can we try it a little slower, it may sound better"

I've quit working touring bands in the past due to band members being overly angry about nothing. Their loss as drummers we call the shots whether they like it or not.
 
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