How to politely and professionally quit

DsDrummer

Senior Member
Hey everyone,

I need some advice. I'm currently in two bands and I'm not enjoying one of them at all. I dislike the music, and the musicians. We have practice tomorrow and I'm thinking on calling it a day with them. We have gigs coming up and I'm willing to play them but after that I don't wish to continue. How do I politely and professionally go about telling the other members that I'm out?

Thanks,
Dan
 

WallyY

Platinum Member
After much thought, I've realized that this band is not fulfilling my musical goals and I have decided to change direction and will be going my own way.

The end.

Don't overthink it.
 

bermuda

Drummerworld Pro Drummer - Administrator
Staff member
Yep, keep it short, simple, and honest, and non-negotiable in case they want to try and discuss it with you.

Maybe a concise "I'm just not having a good time" is a good start, and if they press for more info, explain a little further. But again, don't get into a long discussion about it.

Bermuda
 

deltdrum

Senior Member
I'd say you should probably fake your death. You might need to wear a mask in your other band, but that's trendy (I think) anyways.
 
M

Matt Bo Eder

Guest
I'm with Bermuda on this one. Make it short and sweet. I think if you draw it out into some discussion, you're making it a bigger deal than it is. Just give your notice and let them know you'll honor the previously-made commitments but after that you're done. If they're pros about it, that will give them time to find someone, while you finish out.

If they get weird, then you that's your cue to split and not honor the upcoming gigs.
 

MikeM

Platinum Member
Why half-ass it? Go for the rage quit! Haha!

I'm in two bands at the moment and need to quit one of them quickly cos the dudes are driving me nuts, and not in a good way. So I'm in the same boat as you.

I've been debating the rage quit because I think it would be cathartic, though I know not exactly the most professional option. We'll see how this turns out. We have 4 shows booked over the next month and I'm not sure I'll be able to take it that long.

Go drama!
 

BillRayDrums

Gold Member
I have told people "This isn't a good fit" and just left it at that. Don't burn bridges though. Agree to work as a sub unless it's an indubitably shitty situation...then cut ties but get everyone's # anyway. Music scenes tend to be very nepotistic/cannibalistic and you will cross paths with many of these same people in different bands most likely.

What's interesting is that band chemistry will always be very different depending upon the players involved. Someone who you thought completely sucked in one band ends up being the strongest player in your circle when put into another band with a different lineup. The intangible dynamics in any given situation are widely varied and that's where magic can occur.

But within this scenario the phrase "The toes you step on today may be connected to the ass you gotta kiss tomorrow" applies. Always be nice.
 

mikel

Platinum Member
Its not me its you, and I never want to see you again. So there.

Nah. Just tell them its not for you, you dont enjoy it so you are out, but are willing to fufill the gigs already booked. That gives them time to find a replacement.
 

Elcajon64

Junior Member
Be sure to honor the band's commitments but no more. Don't be surprised if they find a replacement sooner rather than later.
 

King Tiger

Senior Member
Maybe you can try quitting like a notice I gave to a place where I once worked.
I walked into the office and said, "I'm giving my two-day notice, I'm quitting TO-DAY!!" And I walked right out the door. The looks on their faces will be remembered always.
 

eclipseownzu

Gold Member
My only advice is to do it face to face. Don't quit via text or email, stand up look them in the eye and tell them your done. I am pretty sure every musician over the age of about 16 has been in bands where people leave. It comes with the territory. Just be cool about it and be honest. Like Billy Ray said, you never know when one of those guys will form another project and give you a call. That is how music scenes tend to work.
 

Juniper

Gold Member
Do it face to face and like others have said do it politely.

I'd personally them your heart isn’t in it and they should accept it ok as after all who wants a band member who isn’t fully committed to the band.

Also, the importance of being polite- you never know when your paths will cross again in your music community. Don’t let the manner of your departure close any possible opportunities in the future either with the band members or from word of mouth.
 

bermuda

Drummerworld Pro Drummer - Administrator
Staff member
Don't burn bridges though... Music scenes tend to be very nepotistic/cannibalistic and you will cross paths with many of these same people in different bands most likely.

What's interesting is that band chemistry will always be very different depending upon the players involved. Someone who you thought completely sucked in one band ends up being the strongest player in your circle when put into another band with a different lineup

Always be nice.
Yes, yes, and yes. In this business, it's the nice guys who finish first.

Bermuda
 

mikyok

Platinum Member
In my personal experience these things usually come to a head by themselves. If there's egos competing with each other it happens fairly quickly.

There's the 'commitment' speech which is a favourite of original bands who earn nothing and pay to play but expect you to treat it like you're in Led Zeppelin touring America.

The 'Band Meeting' which usually leads to the 'commitment' speech.

I've had to leave original bands to take paid gigs and when you're 18/19 it's hard to explain to someone who's living the dream that you're not selling out.

But be cool, times change and people change!
 
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