Had to quit my rock band

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Anyone interested in some band drama?
My wife is so supportive of all my bands. She brings many people to my rock band gigs. (they're more local, and she can get people to attend) She takes pics, posts them on FB, provides feedback about our FOH sound, and generally is very helpful and a major asset to any band I'm in.

The guitarist in my now former rock band, has zero social graces whatsoever. Lets' call him Froggy. (he looks like a grown up version of Froggy, from "The Little Rascals")

Medically, my wife's grandmother is in a really bad way, and may not make it.
My wife is a big FB'er so naturally all her FB friends know this, including Froggy.

My wife took some pics of gigs, and Froggy was relentless in badgering her to post them on FB. My wife is generally unappreciated by Froggy, not just by this incident, so she decided to write Froggy an email stating such. In it she said that in light of her grandmothers condition, posting gig pics is low on the list. She also mentioned how under-appreciated by the band she felt, in light of the fact that she brings a good part of our audience to the shows.

Well Froggy fired back a nasty email, calling her stupid, she means nothing to him, everyone think's she's nuts, she's not a part of this band, and other unbelieveably atrocious belittling comments like "too many pills today? lol"

Well when I heard that I saw red and called him immediately and gave it to him with both barrels. I literally want to attack this man, so I can't be in a band with him anymore.

I'm not looking for validation or anything, just sharing. This is the same guy that, when I told him I needed a date 2 months into the future for a gig w/ my blues band, he told me I get 2 a year and this is my 2nd. Up until that point, I was very much into his band. After that point, he lost me.

After he MAJORLY insulted my wife he had the gall to say that he would bring the subject up at the next practice, AT MY HOUSE!

After I verbally told him I'm through with this band, (at 90 decibels) he kept messaging me thinking this could be worked out. I wrote back that I wouldn't be taking his calls anymore and to leave me alone. He says he wants to work it out, but I don't want to be associated with a caveman. He is the most inconsiderate, ungrateful, self centered, barbaric person I know. I'm so mad, but there's no way I can work with someone like that.
 

Lex

Senior Member
Good thing you left the band. If you were to still work with this man, the music would surely suffer, and so would your general apreciation of the work you do with this band. Besides, never affiliate yourself with morons, it does no good.

Leave the band, leave it all behind.You're better than this, so don't lower yourself to his level by staying angry. They are without a drummer becouse of the guitarists idiocy, if they're smart, they'd kick him out too and start over. It's their, and his, problem now, Not yours. Go find another project to work on and regain your faith in humans.
 

Dr_Watso

Platinum Member
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?






Just one to hold the bulb while the world revolves around him.
 

NC68

Senior Member
Sorry to hear about your troubles Larryace. His blatant disrespect especially in light of your wife's situation and her previous support of the band is way out of line. I understand why you wanted to throttle him. You did the right thing by quitting. He should be happy that's all you'll do.
 

bonzolead

Platinum Member
You have too be happy in the band you're in plain & simple. If you're not happy then find some musicians you're happy with....there is plenty of them out there....Good Luck.

I would've done the same thing.

Bonzolead
 

Muckster

Platinum Member
That sucks Larry...... It's always guitar players isn't it?

You are a very lucky man to have a wife that is so supportive and you did the right thing! You and your wife are definately better off without that a-hole.

By the way, are the other members in the band Froggy sheep or have they approached you?
 

Andy

Administrator
Staff member
Larry, just escaped from "guests" for 30 seconds. I'll get back to you. Good move! I'm getting "the look".
 

THC

Senior Member
How many guitar players does it take to screw in a light bulb?






Just one to hold the bulb while the world revolves around him.


My drum teacher just told me one of these the other day.

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

501

1 to change the bulb, and 500 that all want to prove they can do it louder and faster.


Sorry to hear about your band troubles Larry. That was not cool, and you did the right thing.

Unless your band is willing to get rid of him in order to keep you, you have to just move on.

bummer =(
 

flicky

Senior Member
That sucks.. I may get bashed here but wives,husbands,girlfriends, boyfriends etc should never be involved in the band.. Why? Because things like this happen. I agree totaly that your guitar player is an idiot and there was no need for that kind of reaction. But then again If the email wasn't sent this would not have happened.
Sorry, call me an ass but when outsiders get involved things happen. Band drama, i'm not a fan..lol
 

KBadd

Silver Member
Sorry Larry. This is never good when it happens. She's taking pics and posting etc...he should be a bit more understanding with a sick familiy member.
 

N.I.B.

Senior Member
And to think you played with this guy? Wow...

Maybe this will serve as a wake-up call for the rest of your band and they'll axe him. In the meantime, good luck finding other musicians to work with!
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
The singer supports me totally and wants to replace the guitarist. I don't know if I want that. I don't want to be associated with any band he was associated with. I'm just gonna wash my hands of the whole mess and find another steady gig.
I thought of being professional and finishing the already booked gigs, but there are too many, all the way to November. If there were 1 or 2 I'd do it. As much as it kills me to do this to any band I am involved with, I just can't let this one go and decided that I must act unprofessional in this particular situation for the sake of my wife's and my own personal dignity.

My wife loves the song "Summer of 69" and nicely asked the band to do it. So after he said all those disrespectful things to her he says "oh and by the way, unless Larry or John can sing "Summer of 69" we won't be doing that song. JT can't sing that high, but you're too dumb to understand that, Duh."

That was just so needlessly mean. My wife is so sweet and giving and he just took a dump right on her.

That was actually the line that pushed me over the edge.
 

Drumolator

Platinum Member
I am a Christian. Mess with me, and I usually "turn the other cheek." Mess with my wife or kid, and that is a different story. You did the right thing. Peace and goodwill.
 

Ian

Silver Member
Good for you. If you and I are alike, music is a hobby to which we devote our time and money, both of which are finite, for a payback of fun and friendship. If I don't get both I'm out 100% of the time.

Did I put up with these assholes when I was trying to "make it?" Sure! Life is too short for them now.
 

chris4355

Member
if the other members are cool with you and they are willing to kick out the guitarist you should stay.

you invested a lot of time in this band, why should you waste it because he was an asshole?

keep in mind there are many guitarists out there and they are the easiest band members to replace.

sucks for him, but I think you should kick him out - he deserves it
 

Pollyanna

Platinum Member
Larry, a bummer for your wife all-round. She sounds like a really nice person.

How old is that guitarist again? An (immature) fifteen? Does he spray tags on fences and smash bottles in the street too?

I'm not sure I could take anything such a fool said seriously but I'm more sure I wouldn't want to be in a band with such a low quality human at our age. Life's too short.


The singer supports me totally and wants to replace the guitarist. I don't know if I want that. I don't want to be associated with any band he was associated with. I'm just gonna wash my hands of the whole mess and find another steady gig.
In my experience the "Right! It's over!" reaction always means there's already been thoughts of finishing up and the most recent annoyance was the last straw ...
 

Pocket-full-of-gold

Platinum Member
The singer supports me totally and wants to replace the guitarist. I don't know if I want that. I don't want to be associated with any band he was associated with. I'm just gonna wash my hands of the whole mess and find another steady gig.
Your call mate, but don't throw the baby out with the bath water. It's no fault of the rest of the band and "guilt by association" doesn't cut it for mine. The guy was an ultimate tosser, no doubt and I'd have reacted the same way. But you can't hold it against those who have rallied onside purely because he plays with them.

If you flat out don't wanna play with them, that's fine. Possibly it is time to walk. But do it for reasons better than "association". There was a time you were happy to play with him too. :)
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
Yea Pol, he's my age, 52. And no the thought of quitting had never entered my skull prior to this morning. As soon as I heard him say that she's too dumb to know, my first thought was, "That's it, I'm out". Then I flew up the steps to the phone to pay my last respects.
 
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