Getting fired from the band

ottog1979

Senior Member
[but we never really touched the subject.]

Unfortunately, this is all too common. I've done it plenty also.

One of the bands I'm in just let go our bass player for specific reasons that were brought up before but he wasn't able to hear. He was a friend and decent player. He was defensive about it, bad mouthed some band peeps on the way out and that was that. Available feedback could have been very helpful to him, an already good player, but he just wasn't able to get in a mode to gain the info.
 

No Way Jose

Silver Member
I just got fired from a band. I got busy. The band leader realized that I'm overworked and fired me. I feel better now. Less work.
 

larryace

"Uncle Larry"
So sorry. Hopefully you can take comfort in knowing that everyone goes through this. Unless you're a robot, it friggin stings, right? We learn from the negative more than the positive. We all want to avoid these things. It's clear you didn't want this at all.

But....

Know that sometimes...the stage has to be cleared for the next chapter in your life. You don't know the bigger plan, so try and let go. Definitely reflect on it, but absolutely roll with it. You're getting your health back. There's a reason this happened that you don't know about yet, I can guarantee it.

You did nothing wrong. I promise.

I repeat, you did nothing wrong, I promise.

This happened for a reason, that's all. You did nothing wrong. Unless being yourself is wrong which it isn't. You are a good and decent person, we all know that here. So just look forward to what's coming up. It's an unexpected twist in your life, that's all. Approach it with bravery.

I have a great personal story about when seemingly bad things happen, and how they can actually turn out to be blessings in disguise that may give you some hope...

It was 1998, and the house I own now, I initially rented with my HS sweetheart and her 4 kids. I was still legally married at the time to my first wife, but obviously separated. Anyway, the water well in rented house...it ran dry. So the landlord had to drill a new one. The water from the newly dug well was so full of iron, it ruined all our clothes, and after only a few months, unbeknownst to me, it formed a rogue electrical pathway in the dishwasher and caught it, and then the kitchen, on fire while the house was empty one summer day. The A/C was on and the windows were closed.

The house was saved by an anomaly, an aunt who miraculously happened by, just in time to save the house by calling the fire company. Fifteen more minutes and nearby windows would have broke, and the fire would have gone wild from the fresh air source. After the flames were extinguished, the house had major smoke and water damage throughout.

We had to share a 2 bedroom apartment with 6 people while the rental house got fixed. It was the worst 2 months of my life.

Bad stuff, right?

The silver lining came months later after we moved back in...in the form of my then brother in law, who is an insurance public adjuster. He somehow got me $10,000 dollars, from some rental clause in the policy on my marital home that I was still paying on! I used that ten grand as the down payment on the now repaired house that caught on fire (landlord was begging me to buy from jump street) Looking back, it was the very best thing that could have happened to me, that fire. I never would have been able to save 10 grand with a mortgage and a rental house lol. I'm still in the "rented" house and absolutely love the location where I live. As a drummer, it's perfect for me in every way. Even the cul-de-sac I live on is named Lawrence Circle, I kid you not.

So bad events very well can turn out to be blessings in disguise. This is what's happening to you I'll bet.

A quick little related side story to hopefully cheer you up and warm your heart...the day before the fire...the gal I was with had a parakeet. I really detest seeing birds in cages, like in a major way. I was alone in the house that day before the fire, and it was beautiful out, so I took the birdcage outside so the little guy could get some fresh air and sunshine for once. I had never done that before, he was never outside before. Well it was a real cheapo birdcage and oops, the wind ended up blowing it over and Pete the Parakeet flew away. I was SO in the doghouse from EVERYONE in the house for causing that to happen that night. The next day, the fire happened.

If I didn't take Pete outside the day before that fateful fire, he would have certainly died a horrible, inescapable, smoky, high temperature death.

As it happened Pete the Parakeet got at least one beautiful day of freedom. I'll take being in the doghouse for that any day.

Bigger plans, that are completely outside of your control and knowledge...absolutely exist. If it happens, if it actually comes to pass...then it was meant to be. Why fight or beat yourself up over what's meant to be?

Roll with this, everything is gonna be great.
 
Last edited:

Gottliver

Senior Member
There is almost nothing more meaningless in life than 'keeping an image'..

Actually, i think that constantly trying to keep a certain image is what makes lots of people at one moment literally sick..
In one’s life among friends and family I totally agree. But posting personal info on the internet leads to bad things. It’s no place for personal information.
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
So sorry. Hopefully you can take comfort in knowing that everyone goes through this. Unless you're a robot, it friggin stings, right? We learn from the negative more than the positive. We all want to avoid these things. It's clear you didn't want this at all.

But....

Know that sometimes...the stage has to be cleared for the next chapter in your life. You don't know the bigger plan, so try and let go. Definitely reflect on it, but absolutely roll with it. You're getting your health back. There's a reason this happened that you don't know about yet, I can guarantee it.

You did nothing wrong. I promise.

I repeat, you did nothing wrong, I promise.

This happened for a reason, that's all. You did nothing wrong. Unless being yourself is wrong which it isn't. You are a good and decent person, we all know that here. So just look forward to what's coming up. It's an unexpected twist in your life, that's all. Approach it with bravery.

I have a great personal story about when seemingly bad things happen, and how they can actually turn out to be blessings in disguise that may give you some hope...

It was 1998, and the house I own now, I initially rented with my HS sweetheart and her 4 kids. I was still legally married at the time to my first wife, but obviously separated. Anyway, the water well in rented house...it ran dry. So the landlord had to drill a new one. The water from the newly dug well was so full of iron, it ruined all our clothes, and after only a few months, unbeknownst to me, it formed a rogue electrical pathway in the dishwasher and caught it, and then the kitchen, on fire while the house was empty one summer day. The A/C was on and the windows were closed.

The house was saved by an anomaly, an aunt who miraculously happened by, just in time to save the house by calling the fire company. Fifteen more minutes and nearby windows would have broke, and the fire would have gone wild from the fresh air source. After the flames were extinguished, the house had major smoke and water damage throughout.

We had to share a 2 bedroom apartment with 6 people while the rental house got fixed. It was the worst 2 months of my life.

Bad stuff, right?

The silver lining came months later after we moved back in...in the form of my then brother in law, who is an insurance public adjuster. He somehow got me $10,000 dollars, from some rental clause in the policy on my marital home that I was still paying on! I used that ten grand as the down payment on the now repaired house that caught on fire (landlord was begging me to buy from jump street) Looking back, it was the very best thing that could have happened to me, that fire. I never would have been able to save 10 grand with a mortgage and a rental house lol. I'm still in the "rented" house and absolutely love the location where I live. As a drummer, it's perfect for me in every way. Even the cul-de-sac I live on is named Lawrence Circle, I kid you not.

So bad events very well can turn out to be blessings in disguise. This is what's happening to you I'll bet.

A quick little related side story to hopefully cheer you up and warm your heart...the day before the fire...the gal I was with had a parakeet. I really detest seeing birds in cages, like in a major way. I was alone in the house that day before the fire, and it was beautiful out, so I took the birdcage outside so the little guy could get some fresh air and sunshine for once. I had never done that before, he was never outside before. Well it was a real cheapo birdcage and oops, the wind ended up blowing it over and Pete the Parakeet flew away. I was SO in the doghouse from EVERYONE in the house for causing that to happen that night. The next day, the fire happened.

If I didn't take Pete outside the day before that fateful fire, he would have certainly died a horrible, inescapable, smoky, high temperature death.

As it happened Pete the Parakeet got at least one beautiful day of freedom. I'll take being in the doghouse for that any day.

Bigger plans, that are completely outside of your control and knowledge...absolutely exist. If it happens, if it actually comes to pass...then it was meant to be. Why fight or beat yourself up over what's meant to be?

Roll with this, everything is gonna be great.
I totally can relate to these type of events. I also don't believe that stuff happens just "random".
Main reason I'm happy I'm off that band is that now I can re-focus on what really matters in my life. Especially that my company is now taking off (finally), it's important for me not to have distractions for some time. Sure I can play drums when I want, etc. But I need to remember where the priorities are.
 

notvinnie

Senior Member
Without getting the other side of the story, it's impossible to offer any advice as far as how to properly deal with what has happened. Your best bet is to try and learn what you can from it in order to make this sort of thing less likely to happen in the future. Maybe they weren't the people you thought they were, or you weren't the person they thought you were. Bands aren't always easy to manage. Personalities collide and opinions can be very strong. It's much more common for something like this to happen than for it to NOT happen.
 

JustJames

Platinum Member
.... I also don't believe that stuff happens just "random"...
Stuff does happen just random.

How we react to it though is not random.

An optimistic outlook tends to bring positive results. Not because anything magical happens, but because people who maintain an optimistic outlook manage to find things to be optimistic about.
 

sonormapex

Senior Member
Got fired?..Start your own band, and you call the shots, get bookings, baby sit the whiners, let members go, deal with egos, etc. Some can do it, most cant. Never hurts to give it a shot, after all, this is supposed to be fun!
 

toddmc

Gold Member
Stuff does happen just random.

How we react to it though is not random.

An optimistic outlook tends to bring positive results. Not because anything magical happens, but because people who maintain an optimistic outlook manage to find things to be optimistic about.
Well said mate- couldn't agree more.

The whole "everything happens for a reason" chestnut really annoys me as well- it's just something we say when something moderately bad happens (ie didn't get that job/ went through a break-up/ fired from a band).
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Without getting the other side of the story, it's impossible to offer any advice as far as how to properly deal with what has happened. Your best bet is to try and learn what you can from it in order to make this sort of thing less likely to happen in the future. Maybe they weren't the people you thought they were, or you weren't the person they thought you were. Bands aren't always easy to manage. Personalities collide and opinions can be very strong. It's much more common for something like this to happen than for it to NOT happen.
Yes totally agree! It might have been that as well. To be honest, I may disregard personality a bit too much, which could be a very bad mistake. I did go a long really well with the band, but I had always that feeling of friction or conflict with two of them (the leaders).
I definitively have learned that not everyone also wants help even if they say yes....
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Stuff does happen just random.

How we react to it though is not random.

An optimistic outlook tends to bring positive results. Not because anything magical happens, but because who maintain an optimistic outlook manage to find things to be optimistic about.
I'm sorry lol, I totally disagree. Wish you'd know what I have been through life (not saying that everyone has it easy, only on my experience), I can't think of once of stuff happening just "random" and total no reason behind it.
But we can agree to disagree :)
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Got fired?..Start your own band, and you call the shots, get bookings, baby sit the whiners, let members go, deal with egos, etc. Some can do it, most cant. Never hurts to give it a shot, after all, this is supposed to be fun!
I started my own project (the biggest one so far in my life lol) a year ago. I'm my own agent and manager in the band, I have learned SO MUCH! I definitively recommend it and have to agree that is definitively not for everyone (stress intensive and strategically you either need experience or have that "one project" to screw it up and succeed). It's the best thing I have done!
However, while I work on that, it's such a huge work that I was getting a bit overworked by it. So, while I got fired I decided to take a step back and just enjoy practicing, take some time off and let that 98% healed become 100%. Plus, as my company is kicking off, I would not have been able to stay longer anyways. I don't regret it one bit. It's the time to get better and get a step higher in the game :D
 

Bo Eder

Platinum Member
Sorry to hear about this. I must admit, I don't think I've ever been "fired". I've had gigs that ended, but I've never been in a band that just tired of having me around, so perhaps I don't know what that's like. Although one of my last situations was where I couldn't provide what the band wanted so we decided to call it (I wasn't about to be involved with these guys every weekend for practice if there were no gigs lined up, or say no to other gigs because of them) so I don't know if I'd call that a "firing". More like a mutual "firing" on both sides. They said no after I said no.

But firing is a weird definition. Are we talking about making a a sum of money from it every week where you actually lived off of it? Or is this just one of those situations where there's no money being made, but you're out playing anyway? For me, if this was a Disney gig, and they asked me to not do it, then I'd consider that a firing. If this is just acquaintances with potential, but it's not paying my mortgage, I'd say your calendar just opened up to try something new.
 

beatdat

Senior Member
Hey, it stings, no doubt about that. When I was in my mid-20s, a local producer took an interest in a band I was in. In the studio, he and the engineer decided I wasn't cutting it, so the band let me go then and there. Devastated, I packed up, went home and had a good cry. When I was ready, I decided to do something about what it was that made them let me go. That wasn't easy, either - it took introspection and humility on my part. But, it was worth it, because it made me a better player. Along the way, I also learned that experience is not only measured by our achievements, but by our failures, too. So, maybe ask yourself again, was there really no reason why you were let go?
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Sorry to hear about this. I must admit, I don't think I've ever been "fired". I've had gigs that ended, but I've never been in a band that just tired of having me around, so perhaps I don't know what that's like. Although one of my last situations was where I couldn't provide what the band wanted so we decided to call it (I wasn't about to be involved with these guys every weekend for practice if there were no gigs lined up, or say no to other gigs because of them) so I don't know if I'd call that a "firing". More like a mutual "firing" on both sides. They said no after I said no.

But firing is a weird definition. Are we talking about making a a sum of money from it every week where you actually lived off of it? Or is this just one of those situations where there's no money being made, but you're out playing anyway? For me, if this was a Disney gig, and they asked me to not do it, then I'd consider that a firing. If this is just acquaintances with potential, but it's not paying my mortgage, I'd say your calendar just opened up to try something new.
I'm not entirely sure how they made money honestly. I was never paid and I often complained about that, also because they didn't let me see the band's account neither to see any proper report. Honestly saving a lot of money right now lol. I'm tired of unpaid gigs.
 

veecharlie

Senior Member
Hey, it stings, no doubt about that. When I was in my mid-20s, a local producer took an interest in a band I was in. In the studio, he and the engineer decided I wasn't cutting it, so the band let me go then and there. Devastated, I packed up, went home and had a good cry. When I was ready, I decided to do something about what it was that made them let me go. That wasn't easy, either - it took introspection and humility on my part. But, it was worth it, because it made me a better player. Along the way, I also learned that experience is not only measured by our achievements, but by our failures, too. So, maybe ask yourself again, was there really no reason why you were let go?
Well I'm sure there is a reason. But I'm not really being told. Or, if what they told me it's true, they really used me at their convenience and dumped me when they found someone else.
I don't consider myself a bad drummer, but at the time they did know I struggle with my health and we mutually had agreed to work forward on it. To be honest, everyone I have been around with when I was really sick (friends, family, even doctors), no one could understand it (not even myself), so I can't expect from them either.
 

PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
I'm not entirely sure how they made money honestly. I was never paid and I often complained about that, also because they didn't let me see the band's account neither to see any proper report. Honestly saving a lot of money right now lol. I'm tired of unpaid gigs.
Fired from an un-paid gig? Girl, they did you a favor!
 
Top