Difficult band members

G

Ghostnote

Guest
I just left the band I'm in last night because I didn't like the bass player. They have gigs booked, but not for another 3 months, so that gives them lots of time to break in a new guy. I didn't get into particulars, I just told them I wasn't diggin' it anymore.
 

philrudd

Senior Member
Getting along with band mates is overrated.

Many years ago, in N.O., I had the privilege of talking with Robin Zander after a small (cigarette promotion!) Cheap Trick gig.

I was in a long-running band at the time and was ready to disembowel the guitarist for being a self-righteous prick. I asked Robin how, after over twenty years together, they were able to keep the band from splitting up.

His answer: 'Well, none of us are really friends...when we're not playing, we rarely see each other.'

And they were one of the most cohesive bands of the modern era, despite the odd lineup of two geeks and two teen-idol types.

So it's not necessary to be friends; just to be tolerant. Knowing when to shut up goes a long way towards furthering the life span of any band.

And finally, members of The Police famously hated each other and had some spirited rows throughout their history. Yet I understand they managed to do pretty well.
 

drummingman

Gold Member
I told my band that Im leaving the band. We have 3 more shows this month and then Im done.

Im currently reaching out to every contact that I have to find another band. Until I can find another one I hope to keep putting up covers on YouTube to help me find a great gig.
 

Anon La Ply

Renegade
Getting along with band mates is overrated.

Many years ago, in N.O., I had the privilege of talking with Robin Zander after a small (cigarette promotion!) Cheap Trick gig.

I was in a long-running band at the time and was ready to disembowel the guitarist for being a self-righteous prick. I asked Robin how, after over twenty years together, they were able to keep the band from splitting up.

His answer: 'Well, none of us are really friends...when we're not playing, we rarely see each other.'

And they were one of the most cohesive bands of the modern era, despite the odd lineup of two geeks and two teen-idol types.

So it's not necessary to be friends; just to be tolerant. Knowing when to shut up goes a long way towards furthering the life span of any band.

And finally, members of The Police famously hated each other and had some spirited rows throughout their history. Yet I understand they managed to do pretty well.
That's opposite to me. I've only ever played in bands with friends, or people who became friends. I think it comes down to professional drive - if someone is prepared to work with people they don't like because they are the best available players. It reminds me of work - you couldn't choose, just go with the flow and try to get things done.
 

drummingman

Gold Member
I see a band situation differently though. In a work situation its not nearly as an intimate setting as a band. Expecially when touring because one is living with the band members. Im not saying you have to be best friends but is is healthy to at least like each other.
 
Top