Booted out of band, advice needed

rmac86

Member
Hi guys,

Due to the nature of my work I'm being forced to move away from home for work but this has come at the cost of my beloved band. I explained to them that I have the option to work Monday to Thursday only which means I can be home every Friday afternoon and have most every weekend free for rehearsals and gigs etc but it's not enough apparently and the guitarist says we are not a"weekend band". I have been with these guys for over 2 years now and I feel so gutted and don't know where to turn. I've already been told there are no local bands where I'm moving to and almost zero music scene, plus I'm going to be working during the week and home to the other half at weekends so not possible to form a group out there.

Considering just selling off all my gear and knocking the music thing in the head as I can't see any better option.

Any ideas guys?
 
M

MasterBlaster

Guest
Whatever you do don't sell your gear, at least not yet.

Wait 5 years first.
 

GruntersDad

Administrator - Mayor
Staff member
Start another band and start the music scene. Sounds like there is a need for both.
 

alparrott

Platinum Member
I've been right where you are, with the exception that I didn't have the option to come back on Fridays. Best band I'd ever been in, great guys. But I was moving to another state due to work and I simply couldn't stay.

We booked a great going-away gig for me at the same place we played our first gig back in the day, packed the place with fans and friends, and played every song in our set. We then adjourned to a pub across the street and partied until closing time. It was a brilliant conclusion to my tenure with that band.

Fast forward ten years and I'm in three different bands in a new town, very entrenched in the music scene over here. Life goes on. Keep your gear, keep practicing, and keep your options open. There will be some sort of opportunity.
 

rmac86

Member
Whatever you do don't sell your gear, at least not yet.

Wait 5 years first.
With the high cost of living where I'm going to I'm kinda forced to sell my gear. I could have kept it if I was gigging every other weekend but now this isn't happening I need to sell it for rent.
 

rmac86

Member
Start another band and start the music scene. Sounds like there is a need for both.
Good idea but there really isn't much of a music scene here currently, most are just solo acoustic players who only write depressing songs. Either that or kids playing metal and screamo
 

eclipseownzu

Gold Member
Somewhere expensive with no music scene. I admit I am intrigued.

I faced a similar circumstance a few years ago and I sold my acoustic kit, bought a nice e-kit and some recording gear. I focused on playing the guitar and writing and recording songs. I actually improved quite a bit so when I moved to where I am now I was a better musician and really ready to contribute to the band and local music scene. Music will find a way if you let it, but you regret it if you just quit because circumstances got difficult.
 

rmac86

Member
I've been right where you are, with the exception that I didn't have the option to come back on Fridays. Best band I'd ever been in, great guys. But I was moving to another state due to work and I simply couldn't stay.

We booked a great going-away gig for me at the same place we played our first gig back in the day, packed the place with fans and friends, and played every song in our set. We then adjourned to a pub across the street and partied until closing time. It was a brilliant conclusion to my tenure with that band.

Fast forward ten years and I'm in three different bands in a new town, very entrenched in the music scene over here. Life goes on. Keep your gear, keep practicing, and keep your options open. There will be some sort of opportunity.
Funny enough, after basically telling me I'm useless the guitarist asked me to play their last show at the end of the month and said we are going to have a mad party after but I told him it would be too painful knowing I'm being shown the door straight after. I really musically "gelled" with these guys and that has been the only time in 20 plus years of playing that I can truly say that.
 

rmac86

Member
Somewhere expensive with no music scene. I admit I am intrigued.

I faced a similar circumstance a few years ago and I sold my acoustic kit, bought a nice e-kit and some recording gear. I focused on playing the guitar and writing and recording songs. I actually improved quite a bit so when I moved to where I am now I was a better musician and really ready to contribute to the band and local music scene. Music will find a way if you let it, but you regret it if you just quit because circumstances got difficult.
Wish I had the option to put more effort into writing and recording but finding it very hard as the commentary from the guitarist basically left me feeling completely inadequate and wanting to just give up
 

Gottliver

Senior Member
Wish I had the option to put more effort into writing and recording but finding it very hard as the commentary from the guitarist basically left me feeling completely inadequate and wanting to just give up
Don't let him win. You play music for you, not for him. Nothing he says or does should impact your desire to play. Keep as much as you can, drummers and bass players are hard to find. You'll get a gig soon. Most gigging cover bands rehearse every 2 weeks, you can probably make that work.
 

rmac86

Member
Don't let him win. You play music for you, not for him. Nothing he says or does should impact your desire to play. Keep as much as you can, drummers and bass players are hard to find. You'll get a gig soon. Most gigging cover bands rehearse every 2 weeks, you can probably make that work.
He already has, I looked up to this guy so much musically and have never felt that connection with anyone in over 20 years of professional playing so I don't hold much hope for finding anything soon
 

AndeeT

Senior Member
You can be a great musician but still be a knob. He might be the former but if he is making you feel that way because of your job/home-life situation then I think in time, you won’t miss the guy.

We put people on pedastals sometimes, and sometimes we see their true colour and our image of them shatters.

If he was really a great musician AND a great guy, he wouldn’t leave you feeling that way.

As for the future, just gotta give it some time. You will find someone to jam with I am sure. Good luck. But definitely don’t pack it in on his behalf
 

JustJames

Platinum Member
With the high cost of living where I'm going to I'm kinda forced to sell my gear. I could have kept it if I was gigging every other weekend but now this isn't happening I need to sell it for rent.
This is going to sound harsh, but if you need to sell your kit for rent, you are in an unworkable situation, and selling your kit is not the solution.

Keep the kit and find another solution to the rent paying predicament.
 

2bsticks

Platinum Member
Well said AndeeT, Do you still enjoy playing drums? You may be surprised when the dust settles. Get yourself some music minus drums tunes and play along with them, work on your drumming. Have fun with it.
 

PorkPieGuy

Platinum Member
There have been phases in my life where I've had to sell and then re-buy gear. I'm thankful that I (hopefully) don't ever have to do that again. I would to feed my family, but I'm thinking it may not have to happen.

If there is no music scene there, then your options are wide open!

I understand if you are having to sell your drums for a security deposit, that's one thing; however, if you are going to have to sell something every month for rent, well, maybe explore different options.
 

New Tricks

Platinum Member
The guitar player sounds like a dick. WTF is "not a weekend band" mean. Doesn't he have a job?

Don't sell your gear or quit. I quit in 1981and didn't get back until 2010. I had an all or nothing attitude back then which, in retrospect, was foolish.

Music is a journey. Bandmates will come and go and you will continue to grow. Enjoy all of it.

This is going to sound harsh, but if you need to sell your kit for rent, you are in an unworkable situation, and selling your kit is not the solution.
Yup. What about next months rent? If you find yourself selling your stuff to exist, re examine some life choices and/or get a better job or an additional one.
 

hippy chip

Silver Member
This is going to sound harsh, but if you need to sell your kit for rent, you are in an unworkable situation, and selling your kit is not the solution.

Keep the kit and find another solution to the rent paying predicament.
I agree with this---selling gear to pay rent is a temporary solution at best. And don't quit playing music because someone hurt your little feelings---put on your big boy pants, and move on.
 
M

MasterBlaster

Guest
It's never wise to sell things that can make you money.
 

Chunkaway

Silver Member
This is going to sound harsh, but if you need to sell your kit for rent, you are in an unworkable situation, and selling your kit is not the solution.

Keep the kit and find another solution to the rent paying predicament.
Absolutely agree with this comment. When you have to sell gear to simply make ends meet, you need to change your situation.

I'm sorry about this band and what has happened. Is there another band in the town where you currently live that would be okay with your situation? It may not be as great of a band, or you may not gel with them as well, but it may help to open more doors in the future.
 
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