Help! We live in a bubble!

[Bo Eder]

This one parallels the 'perspective' thread just started. But I had an interesting weekend in Chicago I wanted to share. And after this weekend (although many of us already know this), I was convinced that we (artists in general) all live in a bubble.

My entire life has been doing things like creating entertainment for people. Writing the perfect 'hook', or learning every song known to man so I can sit-in with any band any where. Studying my drumming to such a "T" that there are no stones left unturned in my quest for smoothness and musicality, as it relates to the musicians I work with. Then I go to Chicago and meet some real people, strong people with their own problems, and I tend to forget how fragile just daily living is for some people. It was humbling.

I spent time playing for some patients at a psychiatric hospital. And these are the child patients who simply can't get out of bed or can't do anything without help from someone else. And I spent some time with the parents of these special children, or maybe their children just have some illness or disability which I think in someways, may be harder on their entire family's lives because since they don't need 24-hour care, the parents end up splitting their time up with their families and their children who need the constant care. One woman in particular I've dubbed the 'strongest woman I know' - having to deal with a 9-year-old diagnosed as bi-polar (the kid just flies off the handle at any little thing, quite the emotional roller-coaster as I saw it happen right before my eyes).

But the whole experience made me step back (once I dried all my own tears about how frustrating this could be for the folks involved, and how I could never relate to them). Before the first time I played I was whining about how some stuff didn't work, or how uncomfortable something was that I had to actually work to make it right.....and then by the time we were done playing to see all those kids just light up that somebody actually came to them to play for them - I was told the hospital can get pretty lonely for all of them - we all wanted to take them all home. At the very least we all wished we could do something to make their worlds better, only to have those hopes sorta dashed away because we have no way of making their lives better, it is what it is, and we just entertain.

I swear, I meet these people (who, consequently, didn't know what we were playing, weren't aware of any hits, simply because the don't have time to study what we've all been studying, and especially for us drummers, don't care what kind of drums I'm playing - all they see are drums) and all I can say is that whatever might be bothering me, is nothing but a little dirt on my windshield compared to what they deal with on a daily basis.

I know most of us know stuff like this. But this is the trap I tend to fall into being a paid 'professional' - I tend to forget there are people who don't have time to listen to music, because they're so busy dealing with their lives. So when we go out to play, we give them that bit of respite to enjoy something, anything for a short time. I'm thankful I can do that, I'm frustrated because I can't do more - you feel like you want to save them all.

I'm going to try to stay out of my bubble.

[Mad About Drums]

Yes, we all live in a bubble, in our own little world, being happy or unhappy of all little or big events in our day to day lives, and we can be frustrated , whinning and in despair for our "problems", financial, health, music, studying, work, food, clothes or whatever, then we watch a TV programme, or a clip like the one you mentioned, or indeed, reading your thread, it's all a matter of perspective and priorities, some people live with real problems day in day out, it makes our problems and frustration as big as a drop of water in all the oceans of this planet, we're very fortunate, sometimes we just don't realise how lucky we are :)

Thanks Bo :)

[GRUNTERSDAD]

Quote....At the very least we all wished we could do something to make their worlds better." But you did make it better, maybe just a little and maybe just temporarily, but you did make it better. You made it better for all of us. thanks

[Ian Williams]

First off - Thanks for sharing!

This is a profound and heart touch story based on real life facts. It's a great sense of feel and fulfilment to bring "Happiness" to other people...Sometimes We have to pinch that bubble and get into someone else's shoes to live it.

I thank God! Life is a gift and I can´t complain...

You are a good man - Bob!

[Pollyanna]

Ian, I agree that Bob is a very good guy but we're talking about Bo :)

Nice post, Bo. It's good to have our music do more than entertain some drunks or create background for diners.

You contribute to your family with your earnings so your music already has a function. Since my music as a "business" has always run heavily in the red, I like doing fundraisers, even if the music isn't the focus - maybe especially because of that.

People with psych problems maybe have it worse than anyone. Since the ailment isn't visible sufferers have to deal with judgement and rejection on top of everything else. You've done good.

[Bo Eder]

Thanks Grae. It was a good weekend, never having been to Chicago before, but I feel emotionally drained by the experience. It's hard to tell this story without breaking up inside. My close friends had a chance to see me become soft and gooey on the inside, but we all agreed we'd be the most heartless people ever if this didn't affect us. Mental issues are just as hard as seeing the physical issues all in the same place. It was a tough trip.

Thanks everybody for understanding. Count your lucky stars that sometimes your biggest issue of the week is "what ride should I get?" or "should I try these heads?" I know I get all giddy about my gear and the tools I use, so I'm not judging anyone at all. But I think the amount of love I saw between these hospital workers, parents, doctors, and patients, trumps all that. Sometimes I'm wondering where it all comes from because for some it looks like they've hit the bottom over and over as it is!

I'm a mess, excuse me...

[unfunkyfooted]

i know what you mean, Bo.

one time i took my acoustic guitar to the Alzheimer's Wing of a local facility where i worked at the time and it really seemed to brighten their moods. there was one really lovely chap there whose language skills had deteriorated to the point that he no longer spoke english...he just said "blip bloom blop blup blup blup" in different inflections. he answered questions, asked questions and held conversations with that one set of words.

as i started to play, he started to cry and i felt like Paul McCartney. i realise it wasn't me and that any acoustic guitar would have made him very emotional, but i felt very proud to have been able to connect with him and make him happy.

i also played for kids at a Daycare - all ages - some of them as old as 5th or 6th grade. i explained to them what type of wood the guitar was made of, how the tuners worked, what types of strings are available - steel or nylon classical, how to hold a pick, how to fingerpick and stuff. that was fun too.

but i'll never forget Alan. he was a good man. never bothered a soul ('cause you know sometimes Alzheimers patients can be ummm restless, if not unruly). R.I.P. Alan and Bless You, Sir.

[Ian Williams]

Ooops...slapped the forehead! Thanks for the hint Grea! Bo: Good on ya mate! You and I never had the chance to talk before but this amazing thread has done it...Keep supporting those who need help.

[dmacc]

For sure.....we sometimes talk like drums and cymbals are the most important thing in life and lose perspective on other realities.

I once worked near a local children's hospital where I had the experience of seeing kids wheeled in and out by the minute each and every day with things that are petrifying.

Seeing my parents and grandparents die was no cakewalk.

Seeing the many psych patients from having visited a brother many, many times over in a highly secured mental hospital is also another experience to help shed perspective.

I can't help but to remember each time I am on this forum or elsewhere having "fun" there is some poor parent who is working on cancer treatment for their child and another parent who has just been told the bad news about their child.