Drum lesson issues with my 6yr.old... [Archive] - DRUMMERWORLD OFFICIAL DISCUSSION FORUM

BigBelly

11-11-2009, 07:38 PM

TTNW

11-11-2009, 08:03 PM

That's a really tough one because of his age. I used to negotiate little deals with my kids, but that's a slippery slope because he will then start to do the drumming chore to get what he really wants.

Your challenge is to revisit what it is that truly excited, inspired or motivated him to play in the first place. That is the little kernel of drumming desire that needs to be fostered. If it was the praise that you gave him for doing so, it might backfire on you.

I was so disappointed that my son doesn't want to play drums anymore. Maybe he'll come back to it one day.

I was forced by my mother to take piano lessons. She was a concert pianist and she insisted that we take music lessons. At times I hated it but today I totally get it.

It is a rule in our family that you must play one instrument. I don't care what it is but you have to play at least one. You can change instruments anytime. You don't have to get serious about it but you have to play. I don't care if it's the tambourine or a recorder. You could try that "family" rule when he gets a little older.

maddrummr

11-11-2009, 08:52 PM

I would practice with him. I am the only musician in my family. It is really awkward when I try and explain things musically because they don't really understand. Maybe if you got down on his level and practiced with him he would be more inspired or just happy to have someone there.

Just a shot in the dark...I'm no parent.

BigBelly

11-11-2009, 09:01 PM

I do try and practice with him. Not many musicians for us either. I have a cousin that is a hell of a drummer in Nashville but he's the only musician in the family. This drumming thing has really bitten me more so than anyone. My older son got a guitar last Christmas and we were hopeful that both boys would take to music. My oldest flammed out within the first few months of lessons but the younger has stuck with drums. I am the one that is obsessed.

I think his real issue with drumming is not drumming itself, he's 6 and thinks that he'll miss out on something "fun" while at practice.

TFITTING942

11-11-2009, 09:16 PM

I think his real issue with drumming is not drumming itself, he's 6 and thinks that he'll miss out on something "fun" while at practice.

I think you really nailed it there. It's a matter of "what are my buddies doing right now?" Or whats on the Disney channel ( my son). I think it's hard for the majority of little kids to want to isolate themselves with practice while the world is out there wating for them to explore it. I laugh when I see these language programs on TV for little kids. Even if there was a remote chance that they would work, your kid would still be stuck on the playground at school with a bunch of one language knuckleheads. Who exactly is he supposed to speak french to on the playground??? Nothing against your son at all but maybe when his friends start to get older and into music more, he can fall in with that crowd and start to play? Believe me, when he starts to see the reaction from chicks over him playing drums, he will suddenly want to practice.

sqadan

11-11-2009, 09:41 PM

Drumming is a demanding discipline - and music lessons and practice are tough for younger kids.

I waited till my kids were older to start them off on instruments (that they chose on their own). My oldest is playing guitar in a band now and has been taking lessons since he was 12. He's 15 and his teacher loves him because he's dedicated. My youngest who is 10 is taking after me with the drums... he's started off with band / lessons at school but he'll start private drumset lessons with a local teacher in a year or so. he is also very dedicated, practicing for an hour or so every night with his book and his pad as well as getting on my kits from time to time.

6 is still a tough age... I'm really of the mind to wait until they have more self control and discipline to start them with this stuff unless they really really want it.

larryace

11-11-2009, 09:57 PM

Something to consider...reverse psychology perhaps? Maybe say he's not allowed to play for more than 10 minutes because that's all most 6 year olds can do? Then he'll want to prove you wrong, as most kids do. Then you can praise him for being ahead of the crowd.

Deltadrummer

11-11-2009, 10:31 PM

One of the things that learning an instrument instills in kids is discipline, and that is where the parents come in. The parent needs to encourage the practice on a daily basis and take interest in what the kid is doing. It's about parent approval at that age. There are parents who applaud every time their kid farts and those that could not care if the kid were president of his class. "Play some thing for me" or "show me what you've learned" are good ways to start. I am sure you are doing that. At six it is hard to really get a kid into the routine of study. If you could get him for ten or fifteen minutes a day, that's a lot because that can become twenty and thirty and sixty and so on. The daily ritual of practice for anything in life is an important and often a difficult lesson to teach kids.

mcbike

11-11-2009, 10:45 PM

Is he only playing 10 minutes a week? or is that just practice? You need to have unstructured time to just have fun and play drums outside of practice, and as hard as it may seem for somebody his age he needs to play with other musicians. I think that is the worst thing about the setup of lessons for kids because they get private lessons and then go home and practice by themselves and that is it. They need to experience playing in an ensemble for the lessons and skills to have any meaning for them.

donv

11-11-2009, 10:56 PM

I was a little older then 6, but today I appreciate that my parents forced me to practice a least a half hour a day. Practice was a daily requirement right up there with homework and daily chores. As said, at the time I thought I was missing something too. I wasn't missing anything, but I didn't realize that at the time. Also do some google searches on how kids that play an instrument fair in school compared to those that don't play an instrument. In the long run the self-discipline you will instill by being strict with the rules will pay off many times over. Unless he has absolutely no interest in playing, you're the adult and he's the child so be the adult and lay down the law. Also, I wouldn't instill this to the point of guilt, but I'd also let him know that he's not the only one involved in this. The time and money you put into his music is an investment on your part and it's not wise to squander investments. That is unless you work on Wall Street, the government is subsidizing your investment and you;ve got nothing to lose. 8)

Monica McCoy

11-12-2009, 01:51 AM

Have you tried spanking him? Maybe he needs the business end of the belt.

You could also show him this: http://www.youtube.com/user/neils4

Let him know that there's a 4-year-old playing circles around him. :)

Pocket-full-of-gold

11-12-2009, 02:21 AM

Any 'study routine' is a big ask for a 6 year old. Their minds just aren't developed enough to fully comprehend the need for repetition and revision. One second they want to be a drummer, the next they want to be a fireman.......there's just too much going on in little minds to fully focus on one aspect of life.

Just try making the whole experience as much fun as it can be. As suggested, play along with him, get as involved and interested in his practice time as you possibly can. Be encouraging and enthusiastic. If he can see it as fun as opposed to a chore, then there's a chance he'll stick with it out of sheer enjoyment. There's many years ahead to dedicate to a structured practice routine.

Nytak

11-12-2009, 03:05 AM

What kind of music/bands/performers does he like? When I was a kid, I didn't care about music at all, until I heard something I really liked, and then I had to play it. He might not know the names, but I'm pretty sure he heard some drumming that got him interested. Build on that. Get him playing along with songs he really likes then work the lesson material in with it.

If he can nail his lesson material in 10 minutes before lessons, then that sounds fine to me until it stops working. Just make sure he's on the kit daily. Doesn't have to be structured at first, that you can always work in slowly as he ages, then by the time the magic 10 minutes quit working he'll have some structure in his routine. If the magic 10 minutes never go away and he sticks with the instrument, by the time he's 15 he'll probably be some kind of virtuoso and your worries may be over. I'm no kid expert by any means, but at that age it seems to me that they do what is fun. In a few years if he sticks with it, he'll do it because it's fun and because he wants to get better. I see that transition all the time in the younger students where I take karate lessons as they get older.

Like others have said, just stay involved, even if it's for the entire duration of practice. Put on little concerts and stuff where he can play for the rest of the family and everybody cheers at the end. At his age, if practice is fun he'll want to do it all the time and next thing you know you'll be posting to ask how to soundproof and keep him from disturbing the neigbors past 10pm :)

BigBelly

11-12-2009, 07:23 PM

Wow, lots of great recommendations here. The reverse psycology trick might just work for him but there is another that I have found that we will start today......ice cream. He and his brother love to have a small amount of ice cream before bed. No practice (15 mins.), no ice cream.

We had our lesson yesterday and as usual, he killed it (7 Nation Army by White Stripes) without much effort. I think something may have clicked yesterday. After his lesson, we played the song for him and you could see his eye's light up! It was a super easy basic beat that didn't sound like much to him without the music but when put into action, he was diggin it!

Thank you very much for the comments. I have this thread saved and will be using something from everyone here...especially the spanking one:)

Chad

MattRitter

11-12-2009, 07:56 PM

Let's face it - if your son can "kill" his assignment with just 10 minutes per week of practicing, then what on Earth would be his motivation for practicing MORE than that? Your son is not lazy or undisciplined - he is smart and efficient. It's completely illogical to spend hours per day on something that can be accomplished in 10 minutes...and your son has figured this out even at age 6. If you want your son to practice more, then his assignment needs to be substantial enough and challenging enough that it REQUIRES him to practice more.

gwaco

11-12-2009, 09:27 PM

a bunch of great advice here . i can tell you from my stand point that my daughter , whom will be 12 in a few weeks has takin almost a year to get to the point of " having fun " and wanting to practice pretty much daily .
the biggest hurdle to get over as parents is living vicariously through our kids . i've done it and probably will do it , but i finally relized ( from someone on the outside ) that she has to be her own person and if she is passionate about playing the drums it will fall into place.
i went through all of the psychology stuff with her , from showing her a ton of young drummers on the tube , to threating to sell all of her drum stuff ! yeah i know its terrible and i felt really bad everytime . finally i just let her work at her pace with the help of a teacher and things have really changed . she knows i would like her to practice everday but if she doesn't i just let it go . now if i say lets take a break today , i get this stare like i said something evil . recently if i have been busy doing something she'll go and drag everthing out , set it up , practice , and take it all down without me saying anything.

now for some advice on what you can try and these are strictly from my experiance .
first maybe forget the lessons right now and use the money to buy some beginner drum books and sit down together go over the books . i worked with my daughter for 6 months or more before i even considered getting her lessons. i wanted her to have good basic knowledge thus saving the teacher from having to start from scratch . going into it with some knowledge has really sped up her learning .

you tube can be an invaluble tool ! we've looked at hundreds of videos on there . we looked at so many kids on there from the really bad to the prodigys . she likes that she can play better than some but uses the prodigys as insperation.
also use the tube as a place for him to look at videos of himself from the begining to the present to watch his own progress. this has been wonderful for jennifer . she looks at her starting videos and laughs at herself . it really gives them some vision .

if you have a music store in your area , take him to drum clinics put on by the store . before you go show him some vids on you tube of the drummer your going to see , that way he knows something about that drummer which gives him a type of connection beforehand and may help him to pay attention to the drummer and not ever instrument hanging on the wall .
also have him meet the drummer , get autographs , take pictures , whatever it takes for him to leave with sometype of memory ( jennifers walls are now plastered with memories!).
i have not met one drummer at a clinic that would rather spend the time talking to adults than to kids !
lastly is just plain old patience remember hes only 6 ! because if he feels that he is just doing this to please you , you will get nowhere ....
hth !

Deltadrummer

11-12-2009, 09:57 PM

Thank you. I think you put your finger on the most important aspect of the original question. Nobody has of yet dared to brooch the subject of why is this guy asking of his 6 year old that he live out his unfulfilled dream of being a rock star? And no one is challenging the ethics of that question. That in and of itself could be a part of the problem.

I personally agree with you that private one on one instruction with kids 4-7 can be a bit of a waste of money. In this case, I think the kid is actually ready for some private instruction because he is already playing the game of work ten minutes before lesson and get through it. Any teacher will tell you, we know the difference between a kid who has worked for ten minutes before the lesson and one who has put in the time, and it's frustrating.

I've worked with young kids 5-7 over the years and what I try to teach is a basic understanding of music, there are rhythms and the notes are named after the alphabet. I think that you are also teaching them what it is like to work with a music teacher. A lot of times with a 5 or 6 year old you can't offer any criticism because they just fall apart. They are doing their thing, and maybe it could be better; but they certainly don't care or have an awareness that it could be. That's all on the teacher and parent in the end., and I think that is the ultimate lesson for the teacher as well as parent, do not put overdo expectations on your student. Give the student what the student needs and what the student wants.

grannydrums

11-12-2009, 09:57 PM

I am with Matt here, leave it up to the teacher to inspire him to practice, have you told him how little work he does between lesson?

Perhaps you should discuss the problem with the teacher and see if he thinks daily practice is necessary at this age and if so , ask him to give your son a workable homework plan. A task for each day and a chart with a sticker to put on when it has been completed is usually a good way to go with children.

I know some children are intensely tutored on musical instruments when they are this young, and I would be loathe to comment on wether this is a good thing to do or not.

Deltadrummer

11-12-2009, 11:01 PM

Just to clarify, it's not a question of whether in general lessons for young children are a good thing or a bad thing. It was great for Mozart, yet Beethoven's father beat him senseless to practice so he could be the next Mozart. Are you going to beat him or reward him and punish him over doing his lessons with ice cream? Mozart was a prodigy because his father worked with him on a consistent basis and you can believe that all these you tube aces that you see have a parent or someone who works with them on a consistent basis.

I don't think Matt is saying that it is all up to the teacher' it will be up to him to clarify. The idea that a teacher has to inspire a young student who he sees once a week for half an hour and the onus is not on the parents is a bit ill placed. Young kids generally cannot re-create an assignment on a daily basis without assistance from an adult.and parents are the most important relationship in the kids life. If you don't believe that ask any K-12 teacher what the most important relationship in the child's education is.

grannydrums

11-12-2009, 11:44 PM

i was not suggesting that the parent should not be involved, I was suggesting that the targets should be set by the teacher, and that he should get feedback on how much work the pupil is doing. Of course parents should get involved in helping the child follow the plan set down by the teacher.

I would think that a teacher would have experiance of lots of different children of different maturities, ability and commitment and would be best placed to judge how to motivate each child and how desirable it is to push them or to just encourage them. But they are only there once a week, the parent is there every day.

gwaco

11-12-2009, 11:51 PM

i do believe the teacher has a very important part in it , the same as any teacher teaching in school. but the soul blame or pressure cannot be place on either if there is no parental involvement.
i am always asking questions to jennifers teacher ( and school teachers also ) about how is she doing in the lessons . does she listen , does she pay attention to him , does she wander off in la la land during the lesson .
i have also asked him point blank what he sees, what should i expect , does he feel there is passion in her to do this and so on . if he was to tell me he just doesn't see it in her i would have to sit down with her and just find out what she wants to do as it would be a waste of all partys time if she did it to make her parents happy.
one of the first things i would do is sit down with your son and ask him a few questions like , are you doing this because you don't want to make mommy and daddy angry , do you just want to do it for fun , do you like your teacher , why do you only practice just before you go to your teacher ( hopefully you have discussed this with the teacher already ) , how about if we set up a practice schedule ( let him know its not set in stone )
and so on .
its a lot easier for me because at 11/12 she knows everything already !!!! l.o.l

BigBelly

11-13-2009, 12:15 AM

Pocket-full-of-gold

11-13-2009, 12:47 AM

I simply want to keep it as fun as I can for him to encourage further learning just as I do with his math homework.

I see nothing wrong with this attitude......as long as he's still enjoying it and having fun, then all you need to do is encourage that. As I stated earlier, at 6 years old, it's about all you can do, (generally speaking of course......but i'll assume we're not talking about a child prodigy here). There's plenty of time to 'crack the whip' and sit him down for dedicated studies or practice routines when he's a little older.

Kids just wanna have fun.....and why shouldn't they? They've got years ahead of them to get serious about what they may want to do, including drums. Just see the present as an introduction to greater things in the future.

Deltadrummer

11-13-2009, 01:15 AM

Man, I go away for a few hours and this post blew up...

Look, I tried to explain in my first post that I am not forcing my son to do this, period. Deltadrummer, your accusation is a bit confusing to me, did you read my first post? As a matter of fact, our last three lessons, Johnny didn't practice during the week at all. I took him to his lesson and let his instructor ask how his practice went. I allow him the opportunity to be responsible for his actions. His instructor, also named John (from Guerilla Drum Making.com) is a fairly young guy but a very "cool" guy to my son and me too. John is very soft and fun with my son because he knows the second the fun is lost, so is the student / future drummer. There is no way in hell I am pushing my son to be some rockstar I never was. I'm not pushing for his own rockstar status either. I simply want to keep it as fun as I can for him to encourage further learning just as I do with his math homework.

There has been a ton of great recommendations on here and I appreciate ALL of the input.

Best regards.

Chad

My advice is the advice of a professional who has been teaching kids for over a decade. Many here have said the same thing. If you want to get your kid into the routine of daily practice. You as the parent need to enforce that. It's confusing to you perhaps because you seem not to want to take that responsibility, which is fine. But reward and punishment does not work well with younger kids. They model behavior and imitate it. The want to please adults and that is their motivation at that age in a lesson. Your kid may be an exception. and the ice cream trick may work. But I would ask why you find it confusing that someone would suggest that you spend two or three days with the kids going over the material and reinforcing it at home and making sure he knows what he needs to practice..

BigBelly

11-13-2009, 02:20 AM

This shit is getting a little rediculous Deltadrummer....

In one post you recommend daily practice and discipline and follow it with, "I am sure you are doing that". Then you ask this question, "Are you going to beat him or reward him and punish him over doing his lessons with ice cream? WTF?

In your last post you mention something about me not wanting to take responsibility for him not practicing...uh,........I DO! That was the whole point of this post, sir! If my child were to "model and imitate" my behavior in regards to drumming, he would be practicing on his own for several hours a day. I suck but I am having fun. That is all I want out of this, fun. For me and for him. If he likes it, great. If he choses to quit or if I see something that makes me think he's done, that's okay too.

I have great respect for someone with your talents as a drummer. I would NEVER question your abilities as an artist, parent or humanbeing for that matter. I came to this forum to seek advice from folks that have WAY MORE experience than I do with drumming so we can get better, have more fun, whatever. If I wasn't taking responsibility for my son's learning (or my own), why would I have even posted asking for help?

I guess you tried to help me but.........

Deltadrummer

11-13-2009, 03:18 AM

I was trying to be nice but if you want to know the truth, I know an idiot when I see one. Any one who would seriously ask for help and then mentioned that his son could be a rock star is an idiot. Any one who would seriously ask for help and then not take the advice of sitting down with you kid and making sure he knows what to do is an idiot. I tried to help, but you can't help an idiot.

BigBelly

11-13-2009, 03:50 AM

The rockstar comment I made in my first post was meant to be very light hearted and that is all. This is a 6 year old, remember?

I'm still not quite sure why you seem to think I am unwilling to sit with my son and try and assist him, that's all I do! I just wanted to be able to do it the best I can and because I know very little, I turned to you folks for a little advice and inspiration. I got a lot solid advice (thank you) but I also got a huge left hook too.

I don't know why there is a need for personal attacks man, I haven't done anything to you but ask for advice that might just give my kid a few more building blocks.

I don't even know what else to say....

Deltadrummer

11-13-2009, 04:05 AM

If that is the case, that is your answer. It's not rocket science. It's basic parenting, and a lot of people don't get it. Luckily for your kids, you are one who does.

I have a new kid now who is 8 and was having some technical problems. The dad sat with me in the lessons and asked can you do something about that. I don't want to make the lesson a big technical problem for the kid because the kid will get frustrated and walk ; but the dad sat in at the lesson and then went home and helped the kid with it. The next week the kid came and he was much improved. I commented to the father that he had done some good work, work that it could have taken me at least a few weeks to really work out in a half an hour lesson.

I didn't appreciate your comment about me trying to help but . . . that was why the personal attack. Teachers are a very easy target for disrespect because we all grow up with at least one really bad teacher experience.

Pocket-full-of-gold

11-13-2009, 06:20 AM

Hey Delta.....I'm running a risk of hijacking this thread, so I wanna be really careful here. But I'm interested in your perspective as a drum teacher.

At what age do you think it's optimal to start learning (and I mean REALLY learning i.e. applying ones self to a dedicated study routine with the aim of some form of progression) drumming, or for that matter, any musical instrument?

This thread has caught my interest for the sole reason that my father was an active, working drummer as I was growing up. Whilst I was always encouraged to 'tinker' around as a youngster (i.e 5 through 10/12) and was shown 'this is a single stroke....this is a double stroke, this is a 4/4 beat etc. My dad pretty much refused to really 'TEACH' anything until I was old enough to show him that I was interested enough to put the time in and actually learn. I would never have been 'put to the test' as a 6 year old. He just felt that was too young to get serious with.

If anyone thinks I should start a new thread on this topic, then please speak your mind and I will. But I'm interested in hearing (especially from the many teachers out there) on whether or not you feel there is a certain age to 'let your kids be kids' and just slowy gain an appreciation for their chosen instrument as opposed to 'cracking the whip' so to speak and making sure they actually apply themselves. My posts in this thread have definitely leaned towards the former as a result of my own situation.

Love to hear your thoughts all.

I also want to add, this is by no means a judgement of the OP, it's just a question I have due to the subject matter raised and my own background.

Deltadrummer

11-13-2009, 08:32 AM

That's a hard question to answer because I think it varies. Some kids are very serious, and very serious from a young age. Some kids are interested in music as a hobby and diversion. I would certainly be interested in what people had to say.

From the beginning of this thread, Chad talked about his kids being rock stars, and I think that that notion really needs to be challenge. The upside to that is here is a guy who is actually considering music as a profession for his kids, which is a rarity. Certainly getting kids involved in music at an early age, and in an appropriate manner is an important part of childhood. But decisions as to career choices should be left until the later teen years.

There is a lot of theory about childhood development. For Erikson, as an example, in the grammar school years the child is learning autonomy (1) relating with peers according to rules (2) progressing from free play to play that may be elaborately structured by rules and may demand formal teamwork, as in sports and music (3) mastering social studies, reading, writing and arithmetic. Homework is a necessity and the need for self-discipline increases yearly.

Schools tend to start kids on instruments at 9 or 10 and there are good reasons for this. 1) Kids don't have the lung capacity to play a wind instrument before this age. 2) young kids may not have the ability for abstract conceptualization that music entails. But kids today are learning these things much younger, fractions in second grade. And music like any other subject has those kids who excel and those kids who don't. I have a kid now who is ten and has achieved in two months a level of understanding that it takes most kids a year or two to get.

I enjoy the age of ten because the kids still have the openness and innocence of childhood, yet they are starting to have the ability to think for themselves. they are interactive but not confrontational. At about 11 1/2, middle school years, you can see a change where kids become more confrontational. they are beginning to develop a sense of self, and they need to question and understand things for themselves. They no longer take things for granted.

Ultimately in teaching music at an early age, you are teaching a lot of various skills 1) success after working on a project and creative thinking 2) overcoming obstacles or problem solving 3) discipline and excellence 4) abstract reasoning and math skills. 5) social interaction.and team work 6) a knowledge of history and the arts, the list goes on.

I think that the groundwork for most students can be laid at an early age; but it is not until the middle teen years 14-16 High School, that true progress and development can start. But you will always see kids who are incredible at 11, and you tube 4 year olds rocking up a storm. As well, this development may not happen until 17, 18 or 19.

Pocket-full-of-gold

11-13-2009, 08:52 AM

I think that the groundwork for most students can be laid at an early age; but it is not until the middle teen years 14-16 High School, that true progress and development can start. But you will always see kids who are incredible at 11, and you tube 4 year olds rocking up a storm. As well, this development may not happen until 17, 18 or 19.

Thanks mate.....I understand there are many variables and as in life itself, we're better served judging all on a case by case basis......thank god for individuality hey!

But your last point here certainly rings true with respect to my own circumstances. Groundwork and appreciation early on, with a greater emphasis on application and dedication as maturity levels develop.

Appreciate your time and thoughts on this. I've found this to be quite an interesting thread.

nocTurnal

01-14-2010, 12:09 AM

You could also show him this: http://www.youtube.com/user/neils4

Let him know that there's a 4-year-old playing circles around him. :)

Man, that makes me want to cry. It also is a constant reminder to practice, practice, practice as much as I can every day.

brittc89

01-14-2010, 09:33 PM

I didnt really enjoy playing until I had my drumset for a couple years. And I didnt practice. Because I didnt care. And no parent made me practice, I would go to my drum lessons, not really prepare, but I didnt care. I cant imagine being 6 years old. I dont even think I would have understood the concept of practicing if I had been playing then. Honestly, does youre son even know what hes about to do 20 minutes from now? So lets talk about practicing. I practice because I can see the bigger picture. And I also know I need to get my oil in my car changed because I can think of these things. If I had a son who wanted to take drum lessons when they were six, Id let them do it, let them have fun, but good God, theyre 6.

I dont know if you can make it more fun. A lot of things are incredibly boring on the drumset to practice. I know this from working with my own students, and these are kids twice as old as youre son, people who have been doing math homework for 6 more years, and they still wont do it. I dont like dealing with the parents a lot of times because they ask me ridiculous questions that I sometimes feel like require blunt answers. Like, no they wont practice and if you make them for some odd reason then they are going to never practice, so you might as well just tell them they cant play anymore. Youre sons playing. I think thats cool. Maybe you should too.

Spinozalove

01-14-2010, 10:17 PM

I was 8 when I started taking drum lessons. I didn't practice really. My mum (also a musician) and my dad would try and persuade me in various ways, but I just didn't have the patience. But like your son I could get away with it. I would do the absolute minimum I could get away with. But I kept going for drum lessons for 10 years or so. Later on, when I was a teenager, and playing in my first bands, I started to practice more, and it showed, as it still does. But I would say that those lessons early on that I did not practice for made all the difference to my playing. I would not be able to play like I can now without having had those lessons, even though I did not practice.

I guess I am trying to say that if he is not practicing but is getting something out of the lessons, it is probably worth keeping the lessons going. It will make a difference in the future and he is likely to get more serious about it sooner or later.

Good luck.

yesdog

01-16-2010, 03:54 PM

I have been teaching my younger son for a year. He is ten now. I never pressure him to practice or nag at him if his technique is incorrect or if he is playing something wrong, instead I will sit next to him with my practice pad and show him how I play it and hold the sticks. I make it fun like saying I bet you can't do this flam or double stroke slower than me.
He also plays in the school band ( percussion). When he does his lesson from school, I reward him by showing him some drum beats on my kit or just leave the room and let him bang away. He will be taking lessons from a proper instructor, Kids tend to listen to other adults better than there parents. The worst thing you can do to your kid is pressure him to practice and be great. If he or any youngster wants to do it they will. Kids between 6 and 10 have an attention span of a nat lol.

wy yung

01-16-2010, 04:00 PM

I run the risk of sounding like an overbearing Dad here, so before I even ask my question, know that I am NOT forcing drumming on my son.

My son is 6 years old and pretty mature for his age. Santa brought him a 5 piece kit for Christmas last year and he has been in lessons ever since. He is doing incredibly well but I can't get him to practice to save my life. We go to a 30 minute lesson once a week and all he will do is practice for about 10 minutes right before his next lesson as to save face with his teacher. The good thing is that he can stick any lesson he's been given in that 10 minute window...and he knows it. If I could get him to practice just a little bit more,the little shit might just be a damn rockstar!

His lesson is to learn (by reading music and listening to the song) 7 Nation Army by the White Stripes. I know it's an easy song but he finally gave me 10 minutes of practice (lesson is this afternoon) and he killed it!

How can I come up with a creative and fun way of enticing him to practice a little more without "pushing" him?

Any good idea's?

Thanks folks!

Chad

10 minutes before a lesson is not bad. He is six.

I'm a career drum teacher and can attest it is very rare indeed to find a 6 year old interested in drum practice. At the moment he is getting 40 minutes per week. That really isn't bad for a child who was born 6 years ago.

Perhaps get him to practice 10 minutes per day. You can make him, you're the parent. One parent of a student of mine has done this with incredible results. The boy has been with me 4 years since 5 and is now amazing. You may not come off as the nice guy, but what father does?

The creative and fun thing is up to his teacher. Not you.

BigBelly

01-18-2010, 08:56 PM

I thought my post was dead but since it's been brought back to life, I do have some very positive news.

Our drumming started a year ago last Christmas when my son got his kit. This year Santa brought another kit to the house. I now have two kits set-up in our Den and that by itself has made a HUGE difference. My oldest (by his own doing) has asked his little brother to be his drum teacher and they now both spend about two hours a week (give or take) in the drum room just banging and laughing and having great fun. That's all I wanted was to see them have fun.

I'm not quite sure how I became the villan in this post, perhaps it was my own wording in the first post. I am not now nor have I ever been trying to force my son into drumming, becoming a rock star, etc. I was simply looking for a way to (without him knowing) make it fun for him or try and promote further interest and learning, simple as that.

Just a few nights ago, I was playing drums alone when my youngest walked in the room and sat behind his kit. He grabbed his headphones to listen to what song I was trying to play and then he joined in. I would play about a minute of one song then switch to another and another and so on. Before long, we were both sweating and laughing at each other's mistakes. It was, by far, the most fun he has ever had behind his kit and mine too. It was just fun, no lessons, no making him play, nothing. Just fun.

He and his cousin, who is an aspiring guitarist, played a song for everyone on Christmas day and had a blast doing it. He has also asked to play his drums for an upcoming talent show at school.

I appreciate the help and comments I received here, all of them.