Confidence behind the kit.

[otway]

Hello Ladies and Gents..

I am here to seek insight on one of my biggest boundaries as a drummer... which is my confidence level behind the drum kit.

I am generally a confident and relaxed person but when it comes to playing drums I almost loose all confidence and become tense.. When I practice on my own its amazing, I pull off everything that I am physically capable of doing with ease. Its even to the point where people stand outside my band room in shock and listen to me practice before they come in.

I have been suffering with this problem as long as i can recall.. I'd learn a lick, beat or technique and when its time to show someone, the fact that they are focused on what I am doing makes me think, "oh boy don't mess up" which always results in me messing up..

Don't get me wrong there are times that I perform when the band and myself are highly prepared and I pull it off perfectly.. But generally I cannot sit behind the kit and execute things that are simple to me now because I always feel that I am going to mess up.. which results in my messing up...

While thinkin of how I could solve this problem I started to realize that most drummers that i know are very big headed and over confident and I wondered and still wonder if this is what i need to allow to happen to myself in order for me to reach the stage I would like to as a performer.

I would say that this is by far my biggest problem as a drummer right now.. Any insight would be greatly appreciated..

[aydee]

The 5 stages of a drummer

1) Sitting behind a bunch of toms, a bass drum, cymbals, snare hi hat etc.

2) Sitting behind all this a actually playing all these things.

3) Sitting behind a kit an playing it.

4) Sitting behind a kit and playing music

5) Sitting by behind nothing and playing music.

[Royal]

I agree with the above.



My 2 cents worth is;

We're all different.
All I can say is that the more you "get into what you are playing" (Imagine it's the last time you will play drums in your life, you'll never play the drums again) the less room there is for other thoughts.

Similar too, say driving/riding flat out in a race...there's just no time to think of anything else.

Get totally absorbed in what you're doing/playing.

Best of luck.

[bromasi]

I read that even Neil Peart felt like running away before stepping on stage, so it happens to all of us,just do it.

[jonescrusher]

Sounds like a lack of practice, nothing more. Work on vocabulary, technique and moving freely around the instrument.

[Pollyanna]

I've heard it said that musicians tend to be able to play to about 70% capacity in performance. I guess some players might come alive in front of an audience but I know that my best playing is invariably at home or at rehearsal.

So Jones's "lack of practice" comment is one way of looking at it. Another way is to only take your well-established chops out of the practice room. As you get your new chops to the point where they are almost automatic, then they become useful tools for public performance.

I think you also pinpointed an issue that I've grappled with at times ... being negative, feeling panicky and thinking "don't mess up". That's hardly the best way to have the kind of body relaxation that helps us drum smoothly.

Aydee and Royal put forward the positive approach which, ironically is not "I can do it". The positive approach is complete immersion in what you're doing so that the self-focused "don't mess up" thoughts have no place in your mind. It's not easy to be immersed in music if you are doing a quick demo of a chop for someone; the dynamic simply doesn't lend itself to Zenlike inspiration. Absorption in the music is.

Another point - "taking a runup". It's one thing to pull off a chop after you've worked on it for a while. It's another to chat with someone for a while and then launch right into your stuff. Again, that relates to Jones's point ... you can only reliably do that when the chop is so familiar that it's automatic.

It can be a little frustrating when you have worked out a nice manoeuvre while pracising but not to bring it out to the world, a bit like waiting to open your Christmas presents as a child. But if you're patient and find a nice context for your chops, then it's much more fun.

Enjoy! :)

[larryace]

It's all in your head. You need to "change the tape" in your head. You tend to attract that which you fear. (in your case, "messing up") If you think about messing up, you probably will. So you need to stop yourself from thinking that.
Don't go the other way and think, I'm not going to mess up....because messing up is still in your thoughts. Try and wipe any concious thought from your head, if you can't do that, at least try and think of something else, like gratitude perhaps...(I'm so fortunate that I am healthy, or boy was that really great sex last night, or man those Dodgers suck this year) Don't think about drumming while you're drumming, think about anything but. Try and side track your mind with positive thoughts and put the drumming on autopilot. Really, just step out of your own way and get on with it.

[Xalky]

As I'm reading Pollyannas reply, I was thinking about being warmed up. I can't play nearly as well when I'm cold. I need about 15 minutes of warmup time before I can pull-off my best stuff.

That can be warming up prior to performing or at least play a few simple tunes at the beginning of the Gig to get you warmed up.

Many times I'll listen to a tune, run to my drums to try and play it, it aint happening. But if I listen to the tune and play it on the pad first, after about 2 times thru the tune suddenly I can play it on the kit.

Some of it is just being warmed up, get those synapses fired up.

[Spreggy]

Great replies above. I think most folks will agree you need to find your way around the mental aspects of performing.

In many ways it's like public speaking, after you do it enough it becomes easy.

One thing I have to do is put on the game face, it's not a face really but a deliberate attitude change of getting on top of and in the moment of the music. It needs to be practiced.

I also learned to be flexible with my playing, I don't try for a specific lick in a specific spot, but play the thing that fits the music and you know is gonna come out nice. Like instead of the blazing run top to bottom, your body says we're gonna do a simple thing and sound tight, and I let that happen instead of the tension filled superfill. I've gotten the "that was good" nod as much when I chicken out as when I go piro, if not more.

I was watching The Last Samurai last night, and Tom Cruise's character was being taught the sword. He was getting the tar beat out of him, and one of the guys comes up to him and says "Too many mind. You have mind on sword, on opponent, on people watching, on this place. Too many mind. ...................... Have no mind."

Be in the music all the way, nothing else gets your attention.

Good luck! Practice hard, and a lot.

[otway]

Great replies above. I think most folks will agree you need to find your way around the mental aspects of performing.

In many ways it's like public speaking, after you do it enough it becomes easy.

One thing I have to do is put on the game face, it's not a face really but a deliberate attitude change of getting on top of and in the moment of the music. It needs to be practiced.

I also learned to be flexible with my playing, I don't try for a specific lick in a specific spot, but play the thing that fits the music and you know is gonna come out nice. Like instead of the blazing run top to bottom, your body says we're gonna do a simple thing and sound tight, and I let that happen instead of the tension filled superfill. I've gotten the "that was good" nod as much when I chicken out as when I go piro, if not more.

I was watching The Last Samurai last night, and Tom Cruise's character was being taught the sword. He was getting the tar beat out of him, and one of the guys comes up to him and says "Too many mind. You have mind on sword, on opponent, on people watching, on this place. Too many mind. ...................... Have no mind."

Be in the music all the way, nothing else gets your attention.

Good luck! Practice hard, and a lot.

Excellent.. thank you so much everyone.. i'm liking all of the advice.. i really appreciate how willing people are to help out here.

And you are right.. i still think that i need to find my way around drumming (performing) mentally.

And the reference to public speaking.. The funny thing about it is that i have studied a bit of public relations and i've had to do many speeches in front of LARGE crowds and i have absolutely no problem doing this.. as i said i am generally a very confident person.. drumming is my life, it what i love most and i think in a way that puts me in a disadvantage.. because it means so much more to me than anything else i think this has me concentrating on 'not messing up' so much more.. and i am a very strong minded person and i am very aware of how powerful the mind is so i am aware that me thinking 'dont mess up' or 'im going to mess up' will MAKE me mess up.. i just can't find myself actually getting past it.. sigh... and i have been drumming and performing for a few years now, i even went on a tour recently, and i did well but i just am not able to play at my fullest.. and allot of the advice and explanations i have gotten here so far are really helping me to understand how i might be able to get past this..

Thank you for all the advice so far people!

[_Rimshot_]

I have this problem too.. Big time. when I come to jam with friends I feel the pressure so much that it even gives me the shakes, and makes for a less than enjoying jamming experience. it doesn't help that my friends all expect everything to be perfect when we jam. But the last few times I've played my confidence has been so low that I mess up, go out of time, and can't play stuff that I usually find easy.

It sucks. The result is that my friends think I suck as a drummer, and this has knocked my confidence even more. I now don't look forward to playing with people at all.

I've kinda just retreated back to my bedroom, and feel I might just be a bedroom drummer for ever now.

It's horrible.

[Spreggy]

I have this problem too.. Big time. when I come to jam with friends I feel the pressure so much that it even gives me the shakes, and makes for a less than enjoying jamming experience. it doesn't help that my friends all expect everything to be perfect when we jam. But the last few times I've played my confidence has been so low that I mess up, go out of time, and can't play stuff that I usually find easy.

It sucks. The result is that my friends think I suck as a drummer, and this has knocked my confidence even more. I now don't look forward to playing with people at all.

I've kinda just retreated back to my bedroom, and feel I might just be a bedroom drummer for ever now.

It's horrible.

No way buddy!! You may not realize, since you aren't a guitar player or singer or whatever, that your friends aren't that amazing either. None of them has better time than you, and despite what they think, they can't drum their way out of a paper bag. It's very common for everyone else in the band to think they can drum, and judge drummers. If you have arrogant jam buddies, hand them the sticks if they want to tell you how it's done. Tell 'em put up or shut up. Seriously, I know I sound like a prick, but insist on respect or be their chump.

Next time you play, take the proper authority over the time and dynamics that a drummer should, you count them in, you control the up and down, you start and end the song. That's all they want anyways. don't retreat, get out and play, and damn the torpedoes.

[larryace]

Next time you play, take the proper authority over the time and dynamics that a drummer should, you count them in, you control the up and down, you start and end the song. That's all they want anyways. don't retreat, get out and play, and damn the torpedoes.

You really have to be diplomatic about it though. No guitar or other player I know of likes to be directed by a bossy drummer.

Tact: Being able to tell someone to go to hell while actually making them look forward to the trip.

[Clayton_C]

I used to have this problem until I started playing with people a lot. So part of it is that you should purposefully go against your instinct to sit out a gig or jam with a certain group of people, just for the experience of playing with/in front of others. Also, it's rightly been said that immersing yourself in the music is HUGE. You must be thinking logically, analytically, and creatively about the music going on around you, and that really shouldn't leave too much room for nervousness...

[larryace]

Otway, are your eyes open when you play? Or are you in your own world, "getting into it"?

I find it helpful to keep my eyes open and focus on something at least 10 feet away, directly in front too, it gives me a larger more complete perspective.

When you are holding the beat down don't lose the focus
When you do fills and transitions, don't lose the focus.

Try and see as much as you can with your peripherial vision

This helps you to shift focus from what you're playing, instead you try to focus on hearing what you're doing as opposed to thinking about what you're doing.

It's kind of like when you throw a ball, you don't concentrate on your arm movements, you look at the target and throw.
When you play drums you don't think about what you're playing, you're listening to what is coming out, if that makes any sense.

When you mentally retreat inside yourself, I know that for me it is way detrimental. Try and focus outside of yourself.

[wolfie]

Sounds like a lack of structured practice to me.
Practice doesn't always make perfect, but it does make permanent. Stucture your practicing propally. 6 month and things will change. I mainly work though the 'Chaffee' ideas but each one or cominations of, about 60 times or more and then move to the next exersize. Do this for 2-4 hours a night on a practice pad and don't even touch the kit. 6 month and you'll have the confidence. You don't have to use the 'Chaffee' stuff any good book will do it.

Remember, the best lesson is the lesson where someone teach's you how to practice is the best lesson you'll ever have.

[Ian Williams]

Believe in yourself and what you do.

[DrummerForJah]

Ja bru I had the same probem but I play at church so I had no choice but to play every week and so by playing and messing up quite often I realised that my big fear -messing up wasnt worth worrying about so much and consequently I started playing better....

[DrumART Jim]

It's been said before here, but I'll say it again -- it's all in your head! :) Seriously. Keeping perspective and maintaining enthusiasm is the best medicine. I mean, if you screw up, what's the worst thing that'll happen? Will a plane crash? Will a building fall? Will a family lose a loved one? Will the earth crumble and the heavens tremble with the weight of your catastrophic failure? Uh, no. You'll probably smile, blush, and maybe even start over. Big deal. :)

Keeping that in mind, you love what you do, right? If so, then...well...LOVE WHAT YOU DO! Really enjoying it and making any experience fun goes miles toward eliminating stress. If you're playing a show, the people there are generally there because they also enjoy what you do. They want to see you succeed, so don't worry about it so much.

The last thing I'd suggest is NOT having a routine. I know that goes against pretty much all the conventional wisdom out there, but it's really worked well for me over the years. I've been a hockey goaltender since I was around 8-years-old -- a position noted for notoriously squirrely athletes and head-cases. And I was. I played competitively through college, but early on in my "career," I was having all kinds of problems with nerves. I was getting all kinds of stressed, losing my cool all the time, and my performance suffered.

That's when I met a coach who was also a sports psychologist. He looked at what I was doing before, during and after every game. My routine both on and off the ice was filled with all kinds of habits and superstitions. Stupid stuff that almost every athlete (and many musicians) fill their lives with. Think of the way many pitchers hop over the first base line in baseball when heading back to the dugout or how many goaltenders hop over the blue line heading back to the bench. Absurd, right? Right.

He pretty much *forced* me to do everything differently every game, and it worked wonders. My head came out of the world of curses, hexes and imaginary monsters and back where it needed to be -- in my body and in the game. That was a profound realization for me -- both in sport and in life -- and I've never had a moment of nervousness since, either on the ice or on the stage.

Hope this helps at least a little bit!

--Jim.

[zafrothunder]

It's been said before here, but I'll say it again -- it's all in your head! :) Seriously. Keeping perspective and maintaining enthusiasm is the best medicine. I mean, if you screw up, what's the worst thing that'll happen? Will a plane crash? Will a building fall? Will a family lose a loved one? Will the earth crumble and the heavens tremble with the weight of your catastrophic failure? Uh, no. You'll probably smile, blush, and maybe even start over. Big deal. :)

Keeping that in mind, you love what you do, right? If so, then...well...LOVE WHAT YOU DO! Really enjoying it and making any experience fun goes miles toward eliminating stress. If you're playing a show, the people there are generally there because they also enjoy what you do. They want to see you succeed, so don't worry about it so much.

The last thing I'd suggest is NOT having a routine. I know that goes against pretty much all the conventional wisdom out there, but it's really worked well for me over the years. I've been a hockey goaltender since I was around 8-years-old -- a position noted for notoriously squirrely athletes and head-cases. And I was. I played competitively through college, but early on in my "career," I was having all kinds of problems with nerves. I was getting all kinds of stressed, losing my cool all the time, and my performance suffered.

That's when I met a coach who was also a sports psychologist. He looked at what I was doing before, during and after every game. My routine both on and off the ice was filled with all kinds of habits and superstitions. Stupid stuff that almost every athlete (and many musicians) fill their lives with. Think of the way many pitchers hop over the first base line in baseball when heading back to the dugout or how many goaltenders hop over the blue line heading back to the bench. Absurd, right? Right.

He pretty much *forced* me to do everything differently every game, and it worked wonders. My head came out of the world of curses, hexes and imaginary monsters and back where it needed to be -- in my body and in the game. That was a profound realization for me -- both in sport and in life -- and I've never had a moment of nervousness since, either on the ice or on the stage.

Hope this helps at least a little bit!

--Jim.

i totally agree.

the key is to have fun with it. dont think so much about messing up. Just think about doing the song and how fun it is.

[rmandelbaum]

Here is a very simple trick I have found very helpful over the years.

Focus on your grip. You will notice that when you are tense your grip will be tight and that will make everything else tight.

So next time your on the stage and feeling tense try it, focus on your grip and focus on keeping it loose and relaxed, you will be surprised how everything else will follow.

[dairyairman]

yeah, i tend to get nervous before a show, but i'm getting better at dealing with it. i try to focus on having fun and interacting with the crowd as much as i can. that seems to help. most of them hardly notice when i mess up anyway, which does happen. not too long ago i dropped my left stick at an important show. it took me about two measures to pick it up and get back on track. i managed to keep the back beats going with my right hand. but after all that, it turned out that most people i talked to after the show didn't even notice! so just focus on having fun, and comfort yourself in the knowledge that most people out there are all caught up in all the energy and excitement and have no idea what you're doing.

[sciomako]

I think this book is relevant: Inner Game of Music (http://www.amazon.com/Inner-Game-Music-Barry-Green/dp/0385231261/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242708116&sr=8-1).

[divingdrummerdean]

I read that even Neil Peart felt like running away before stepping on stage, so it happens to all of us,just do it.

Jeff Porcaro puked in the corner of the studio at his first recording session because of nerves...JEFF PORCARO!!


ddd

[divingdrummerdean]

Back to the analogy with public speaking:

I've lived in Japan for about 9 years. There have been times that I've been forced to speak in front of an audience, in English, when I just knew that the majority of those listening had no clue as to what I was saying. But, I've sometimes found solace in this, and have shared this mind set with performing.

In other words, the audience has no idea what you are going to play, so it doesn't matter what you play because it's ALL new to them. If you keep this in mind, you'll be able to do what you want with the music. Picture a room full of aliens that have never heard music before. To them, even dropping a stick is part of the plan. The audience really doesn't have a clue.

ddd

[rmandelbaum]

Rod Stewart hid behind the amps for the first song at his first show with Jeff Beck ;-)

[Royal]

The audience really doesn't have a clue.


Sounds a bit of a dangerous assumption......to put it mildly. ;^)

[gusty]

I've never really been too nervous about drumming but i guess one thing that's helped is busking with my band. no pressure at all since people only pay if they want, and if you go to a local market (like my band) there are loads of average musos there anyway.

[larryace]

Could you define busking for us Americans?

[aydee]

Busking is performing in public spaces. ( streets, subway stations, town squares etc..)

[larryace]

Thanks mate.
20202020202020

[Levon's Pocket]

The mental aspect of any performance is a tricky one. For example you have been adviced to think positive, to not think at all, to analyze what you're playing, to think of anything but what you're playing, to focus on your grip, to practice more, to love what you're doing, to get into the music and more. All this would lessen your tension and messing up. Some of it might, some won't. You'll never know until you've tried it and we're all different when it comes to this. Having said that, I will share my view on this and how all advice given boils down to one simple fact which is:
What You Do Not Want Badly Enough, You'll Get For Sure
Trying to control negative emotions/thoughts will make you miserable because sooner or later you will fail. Try not to think about messing up for a minute. During those 60 sec's you will think about nothing but messing up and whatever else comes up will be related to messing up since it's only function is to hide the forbidden thought. The note on routines/not-routines is a good one. A lot of routines (not all) is there to control thought emotions, it's superstition and can work as a sort of placebo. Getting rid of that means accepting the fact that you cannot or need not control your emotions. The function of a superstitious habit is not to control outcome. No pitcher really believes that spitting twice over his left shoulder will prevent a bad pitch. The function is to ease the nerves and the fear of making a bad pitch. Skipping the habits is saying "I don't need to control my nerves and my fear" and that is the holy grail of peak performace (on any level). When you rid yourelf of the misconception the thoughts and emotions need to be controled, you can give all your attention to your drumming. You can "get into it" and "be in the moment". It works in that order because lack of control is not the problem, control IS the problem. Whatever good advice of the ones shared you choose to practice will ultimately fail if the function of it is to control your worries about messing up. On the other hand, if you manage to let go of the control agenda most of that advice is unneccesary. You don't need to do anything to get rid of the thought "I might mess up" because it's just a thought and it's totally irrelevant because thoughts do not cause action. If you don't believe me then think "I will now play a Neil Peart solo without one goofy note" and see if it happens. If it doesn't we can discard the causal relation between thoughts and actions. Same goes for emotions. What you actually can do is dependent on other things like physical ability and practice for example. Thoughts and emotions will only have an impact on your performance as long you still believe that this causal relation exists. Your experience might be telling you that the relation is for real, but think again. What makes you messing up is not the thought "I might mess up", no way. You mess up because you get tensed and lose focus on your performance and that is because you have this negative thought that is believed to govern your body and therefore must be altered or deleted, and since you cannot control it by just making it go away you're in a position where you're unable to do what has to be done in order to pull off the drumming. That position is a bad place to be and that makes you nervous and tensed and that leads to messing up. Not the harmless thought or emotion itself. I suggest you make this experiment. First let you hands and feet play a straight basic rockbeat with no frills and fills for a minute. Think about whatever you want when doing that ( the bass drum, the back beat, your new cymbal or the neighbours cat...whatever). Then let your thoughts and emotions play something fancy like a Purdie shuffle or some Portnoy odd meters. Remember to only use thoughts and emotions and let your hands and feet rest. When you're done think about which approach made for the best drumming. Will anyone ever give a hand for your thoughts and emotions? Will they ever be able to produce a groove? Were they able to have any impact on your drumming at all? Who will be on your team when it's time to deliver, your brain?
Finally, I googled the qoute by Bill Ward about perfection and found This (http://www.allaboutjazz.com/php/article.php?id=20215). It's to long to quote in full, but please go there and read it. It's full of wisdom and insight and I especially recommend the part about letting go of envy and frustration and how creativity starts to flow when he realize that he knows nothing at all.
Striving for perfection can take us a long way if we accept that we'll never get there, and still enjoy the ride.

[bobdadruma]

You may want to read this thread. There is a direct relationship between Stage Presence and Confidence. I hope that it helps. http://www.drummerworld.com/forums/showthread.php?t=49202

[divingdrummerdean]

What's dangerous?

This is a state of mind. And, it works.

BTW, "Asia/South Pacific". Are you close by?

ddd



Sounds a bit of a dangerous assumption......to put it mildly. ;^)

[JT1]

Well the problem is you're thinking too much by the sounds of it. Obviously there is a level of concentration needed however you are concentrating on you are going to fail rather than saying you are going to do it. It is a total mental thing. I find when i play drums in a band or practicing or whatever but especially in a band, it is easier to play things collectively in a group that is because all the pressure is spread out evenly between the group to perform and not solely on you when you are showing someone something. I had the same problem. In the end i stopped caring whether i was going to fail or not and i was able to show people something and do it almost all of the time. One confidence issue i have on the kit is when i have an idea in my head and i'm in the middle of a song and i want to play what i'm thinking of but am frightened of screwing it up which is similar to your problem. What it comes down to is, 'you stand a lot more chance of doing something successfully if you don't think about it' Obviously some degree of concentration is needed for the execution but just say, 'screw the consequence' if you screw it up, you screw it up, its no big deal and the more you think like this the more confident you will get and the more successful you will be in pulling something off. Just go for it and hopefully this new state of mind will help you in the future. Good luck!

[JT1]

I have this problem too.. Big time. when I come to jam with friends I feel the pressure so much that it even gives me the shakes, and makes for a less than enjoying jamming experience. it doesn't help that my friends all expect everything to be perfect when we jam. But the last few times I've played my confidence has been so low that I mess up, go out of time, and can't play stuff that I usually find easy.

It sucks. The result is that my friends think I suck as a drummer, and this has knocked my confidence even more. I now don't look forward to playing with people at all.

I've kinda just retreated back to my bedroom, and feel I might just be a bedroom drummer for ever now.

It's horrible.

Oh man that sucks. I tell you what you need to do, you need to jam with some people just starting out, this way you can all develop together comfortably and you won't be the only one making mistakes, It is a common thing i still do it to this day if i'm playing with musicians that i have never played with before. As you get better together and progress more you will find yourself improving your confidence and as a band you will all be comfortable with each other. Your friends shouldn't be putting so much pressure on you to be perfect. What is the fun in playing if you can't learn from your mistakes once in a while? Don't shy out stand up to your fear and play and say right i'm better than this and i can play this well. Stick at it and your confidence will grow. If your friends are saying you suck can you really consider them your friends if they aint supporting you? Also try a song you know you can play and that your friends cannot this will give you a confidence boost because the others will probably mess up and you'll start to feel more confident and comfortable. Just don't develop an ego. lol drumming is not about who is better than who, it aint a competition, it's about enjoying what you do and play and not giving a damn what others think of you as long as you are having a good time

[Royal]

What's dangerous?
This is a state of mind. And, it works.

**BTW, "Asia/South Pacific". **Are you close by?


If it works for you then all's well.
As for myself. If I thought any audience doesn't have a clue.....I'd possibly feel I'm in a rehearsal studio & mistakes/bad performance didn't matter too much..
Playing live brings out the best in me. I'm not as keen on studios.


**In Thailand & Cambodia at present.........Hokkaido, Japan is where I call home.

[gusty]

Could you define busking for us Americans?

What do the Americans call it? I thought it was busking because ive seen some cool street drum performers (which were called buskers) on youtube in (mostly) NYC.

[aydee]

What do the Americans call it? I thought it was busking because ive seen some cool street drum performers (which were called buskers) on youtube in (mostly) NYC.

Americans call it busking too, Gust. ; )

[larryace]

Well here in Pennsylvania I've never heard it. I'll ask all my musician friends and get back to you on it.

[Corey Cook]

Better playing comes from experience, confidence comes from experience. You won't get it in the practice room.

[Levon's Pocket]

Better playing comes from experience, confidence comes from experience. You won't get it in the practice room.

Very true, and in reference to my previous post, what happens is that you face what you fear in spite of the fearful thought/emotions. And just like in any treatment of phobias, your body eventually stops telling you there is a vicious tiger around the corner because what you fear will not happen. Yes, you might goof it and then...? You don't die, nobody turns his back on you forever and you won't have a heart attack. Gradually, when the negative emotion isn't there, you start to see your thought about medding up as just thoughts. They won't mean anything to you if nothing happen emotionally.

[anp27]

Get a copy of Kenny Werner's book called 'Effortless Mastery'.

[drummer girl09]

I'm usually fine with the confidence area till I get burnt out with drumming. But today I had to play at a concert for a Rock Fest. The band before us had an...AWESOME drummer (but in my opinion I think he might have played to many fills and fancy stuff but that's not the point). Their group was in the metal genre area, which is not mine, but still he kicked butt. The bad thing was that we were up after that group, and I was afraid that I would look like crap after him. That lowered my confidence a little and self esteem. What would you do in that situation?

[Royal]

Do something dangerous.......that puts playing music into perspective.

[eardrum]

I had this problem for years. Sometimes I still get nervous or distracted depending on who's watching. I read all the books, took all the advice, did the meditations, etc. etc... nothing really worked except three things:

1. Playing 9 gigs a week I eventually got bored of being nervous, or physically adapted to it or whatever. I accept that it is OK to be nervous... if I fight it I might create some mental drama. Just be nervous and enjoy it. You'll probably live.

2. If you are humble, you have nothing to lose. If you think you are great and you know what you're doing and you are a great drummer, you have a lot at stake when you sit down to play for people. On the other hand if you just think of yourself as a regular guy/girl, honest about your level of playing in the BIG picture, humble and a student, you have nothing to lose. You can just be yourself. Be a student all the time. Big ears, humble approach. Listen, learn and all that. Don't talk smack to your friends or indulge in egotistical bullsh*t. That stuff sets you up.

3. Listen hard! Your awareness is like the driver in your mind. Focus on where you want to go and your mind will go there. So focus on your EARS! At least that's what I do when I'm playing. I listen hard and adjust my playing to what I'm hearing. I try to ignore my self image while I'm playing. There's no time for it really. Some people think about stage presence... I'm more of a face-maker myself. To each is own. I just care about the music, I'm not too worried about how silly I look while I'm making it... I'm pretty sure I'm beyond the point of no return in that department. ;)

After about 15 years of gigging that's what it has boiled down to in my personal experience. I'm sure it is different for everyone. And hey, I still get nervous sometimes so maybe I haven't figured it out.
Good luck!

[bobdadruma]

I'm usually fine with the confidence area till I get burnt out with drumming. But today I had to play at a concert for a Rock Fest. The band before us had an...AWESOME drummer (but in my opinion I think he might have played to many fills and fancy stuff but that's not the point). Their group was in the metal genre area, which is not mine, but still he kicked butt. The bad thing was that we were up after that group, and I was afraid that I would look like crap after him. That lowered my confidence a little and self esteem. What would you do in that situation? This had happened to me many times. Just play your set the way that you always do. The other night I followed a drummer that I envied. After my set, he came up to me and he said that he liked the way I played. He asked me a few questions about things that I did. Here is a case and point! We both impressed each other!

[drummer girl09]

This had happened to me many times. Just play your set the way that you always do. The other night I followed a drummer that I envied. After my set, he came up to me and he said that he liked the way I played. He asked me a few questions about things that I did. Here is a case and point! We both impressed each other!


Yeah, basically the same situation. But I had to borrow a piece of the kit because we lost it (very small piece) and I gave it back to him after I had played. He didn't say anything about my playing, didn't even mention it, which kinda discouraged me even more for some reason. But he was like....18 it looked.

We found the missing piece after the show though...so that was the good part =D

I guess I get discouraged easily when I see some one like...5x at least better than me. A weakness I found.

[zafrothunder]

Yeah, basically the same situation. But I had to borrow a piece of the kit because we lost it (very small piece) and I gave it back to him after I had played. He didn't say anything about my playing, didn't even mention it, which kinda discouraged me even more for some reason. But he was like....18 it looked.

We found the missing piece after the show though...so that was the good part =D

I guess I get discouraged easily when I see some one like...5x at least better than me. A weakness I found.

i dont get discouraged when i see someone better than me. Im good enough for me, and i know im getting better so i just ignore it.

[Cozmo]

Yeah, basically the same situation. But I had to borrow a piece of the kit because we lost it (very small piece) and I gave it back to him after I had played. He didn't say anything about my playing, didn't even mention it, which kinda discouraged me even more for some reason. But he was like....18 it looked.

We found the missing piece after the show though...so that was the good part =D

I guess I get discouraged easily when I see some one like...5x at least better than me. A weakness I found.

I also play guitar a lot, and aside from my drumming, do the whole "folk singer songwriter" thing. My wife, also a musician and singer, encouraged me to start going to open mic nights about 6 months ago. The first couple of times I was nervous as all-get-out, but then I began to realize that everyone approaches their instrument from a truly unique perspective. I still get nervous, but not nearly as much.

My influences on drums are Ringo Starr, Darren Jessee from Ben Folds Five, and Glenn Kotche of Wilco. Other drummers may have the same influences, but they way the influence me are unique to me because of my interpretation of their work. The way your influences and experiences shape your drumming is unique to you...nobody else plays like you do.

And as far as the guy not saying anything to you, it could have something to do with his age. Or it could have nothing to do with it. It could be a front that he's putting up to mask his own insecurity. Maybe he's got a crappy home life and drumming is the only thing that keeps him from going crazy. Maybe he's really shy with people he doesn't know well. Maybe he thought, "Wow, this guy is awesome. He doesn't need me saying how good he is." Seriously, he might think that. You can never assume. I once got intimidated by a guy at open mic night because he had the gear, the look, and the voice. He was really good. Then we got to talking, and found out we had the same influences and goals and all that stuff, and now we're really good friends.

Sorry, I'm rambling. But the point I'm trying to make is, don't let it get to you. You just do your best, and if you've done that, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.