Egos

[rogue_drummer]

How do you all handle the musicians (or anyone else) with the extemely large, universe-sized egos?

If you're in music, you are bound to run into musicians with some sort of ego problem. It now seems that for every two or three musicians I meet that have talent, that are are decent folks, I run into one or two that are egomaniacs who act like jerks.

How do you all deal with people like that? I'm still having trouble. Thanks!

[zephead19]

I have somebody just like that in my band. He is pretty good at guitar but not as good as he thinks. The other band members just kind of ignore him if he makes a stupid (egotistic) comment. Other than that we don't really do much different around him. I think it is easiest just to be yourself and if he is really bothering you just kick 'em out of the band.

[Pavlos]

I don't think I should have to lower myself to your level and answer that question.

[spirit]

Its always the guitar players- I worked with a guy who started ok calm and mild- then turned into a complete show off- utter fool, he really thought he was a rock god.....then one day he got told by a club we were playing at, to turn it down, he flipped- we lost loads of gigs and we sacked him in the end....

The price was paid by the whole band- thousands of pounds lost for an ego!

[Ian Williams]

You and the other band members, can teach him or her, a lesson of humility and altruism. Later on, He or She will be grateful.

All The Best,

[Deathmetalconga]

I have somebody just like that in my band. He is pretty good at guitar but not as good as he thinks. The other band members just kind of ignore him if he makes a stupid (egotistic) comment. Other than that we don't really do much different around him. I think it is easiest just to be yourself and if he is really bothering you just kick 'em out of the band.

That's a mature, level-headed way to approach it. As long as the person delivers the goods, I can overlook a certain amount of obnoxious behavior. If they don't have the talent to back themselves up or their behavior is disruptive, it's time to kick them out.

[Average]

Its always the guitar players-

To be fare, the biggest egos I have ever seen are on semi talented novice drummers.

[dairyairman]

i usually don't care too much if a band member has a big ego, as long as that isn't accompanied by "jerk" behavior and their ego is backed up by solid playing. the lead guitarist in my current band has a monumental ego, for example, but he really is quite phenomenal on guitar and is generally a good guy so no big deal. the only problem i can recall is he sometimes wants to turn down smaller gigs because he thinks he's "too good" to play them!

[Meat the beat]

I don't think I should have to lower myself to your level and answer that question.

LOL @ Pavlos !!! :-D
I have been fortunate to work mostly down to earth guys or Mates - It makes a huge difference to the enjoyment factor.

[T.Underhill]

Unless it's affecting gigs, club owner relationships, reputation, or me personally I tend to just ignore it. NOT being friends outside of the band also helps, just keep it a working relationship. It can be difficult to deal with but sometimes you're just stuck with a person for a while.

[fromyesterday]

I ignore it, and focus more on my ego and keeping it in check.

I've found any time I get an ego something happens to put it in check - I just try and remain professional and not cultivate another person's ego by arguing it unless it's affecting something.

I also find the best musicians are humble, and I assume they (like myself) were humbled time and time again by paying attention to people better than themselves..getting your butt kicked by another musician helps.

[Leadfoot]

How do I deal with it? Simple, I don't. Life is too short to work with jackasses. That being stated, a good quality player should have a good level of confidence about him, but I personally walk away from snobs & dickweeds, I don't care how good they are.

[drummingdunc]

The guitarist in my band doesn't really have an ego as such, but he has personality defects that can make him very hard to be around sometimes. He's younger than the rest of us and this is his 1st band, and it shows. In practices some of us will be messing around between songs, playing randomness, jamming etc, and if he's trying to do something (tune, talk to someone, think...) we all have to shut up. As soon as someone else is trying to tune, talk think, work out a drum part, he plays all over you and makes a racket. He's very bad at dealing with people, but the problem is it's his band. He writes the music (although we are starting to collaborate now we've been together a while) which is pretty good, and he's decent enough on guitar to hold his own. It's just the way he makes decisions, the way he goes about band business. For example, we have been in the studio recently, but he just went ahead and booked it without asking if we could make it! As it happens I can't, so the session (which luckily is free) is wasted because without drums they cant lay anything else down. Also he doesn't drive and depends on me for lifts and pretty much treats me like a taxi, but there is probably a whole thread worth of posting to be done on that subject...
The rest of the band generally ignore the stupid comments, but his attitude is starting to annoy everyone. Don't want to leave at this point cos we've been working for nearly a year now, are just recording a demo and starting to gig, so fun times ahead. But he can be such a <insert insult here>!
He's a nice enough guy and really into the band, but behaves like a jerk because he's inexperienced.

[rogue_drummer]

I don't think I should have to lower myself to your level and answer that question.


Too funny!

[SGT_Drummer]

The guitarist in my band doesn't really have an ego as such, but he has personality defects that can make him very hard to be around sometimes. He's younger than the rest of us and this is his 1st band, and it shows. In practices some of us will be messing around between songs, playing randomness, jamming etc, and if he's trying to do something (tune, talk to someone, think...) we all have to shut up. As soon as someone else is trying to tune, talk think, work out a drum part, he plays all over you and makes a racket. He's very bad at dealing with people, but the problem is it's his band. He writes the music (although we are starting to collaborate now we've been together a while) which is pretty good, and he's decent enough on guitar to hold his own. It's just the way he makes decisions, the way he goes about band business. For example, we have been in the studio recently, but he just went ahead and booked it without asking if we could make it! As it happens I can't, so the session (which luckily is free) is wasted because without drums they cant lay anything else down. Also he doesn't drive and depends on me for lifts and pretty much treats me like a taxi, but there is probably a whole thread worth of posting to be done on that subject...
The rest of the band generally ignore the stupid comments, but his attitude is starting to annoy everyone. Don't want to leave at this point cos we've been working for nearly a year now, are just recording a demo and starting to gig, so fun times ahead. But he can be such a <insert insult here>!
He's a nice enough guy and really into the band, but behaves like a jerk because he's inexperienced.

that amazing! i think you've picked up the guitarist from my old band!! haha lol. he did the exact same things you describe. tell us all to stfu while he's trying to talk but won't do the same for us when we are trying to talk. while i hold that band as one of if not the greatest time of my life, we eventually had it with the differing 'personalities' in the band and called it quits. then when we were thinking of trying again, i joined the army and that was the end lol. he remained one of my absolute best friends until he decided to bring some, um.. 'illegeal' substances in my car and ask me to try them. he's lucky i valued his friendship enough not to make him walk the 50 miles back home. wow, um... what were we talking about?

[drummer girl09]

I had to play at a gig with two other bands. The first band didn't need any drums or anything, but they didn't want me to set up my kit...for some stupid reason. But the other band did use a kit and the guy absolutely had to use his kit instead of just using my kit since I played before them and it would eliminate all the hassle of putting all his stuff up there. I could tell he had a big ego and stuff...he was like 10 years older than me too. But I just ignored him and did what he wished. When I saw him playing though...the stuff that he had a double bass pedal on, he could have easily done it on just a single pedal. It annoyed me for some reason. Not as good as he thinks he is, IMO.

I'd just ignore it though, don't let it bother you to much.

[piperdoog]

It is unfortunate that we must deal with (lets face it) mass ego's in this field we love. "I'm not guitar player, I'm an artist that should be pampered and told I'm the greatest".
Ya we'll eat it!!! Just pick up some overtime at Starbucks so we can pay for rehearsal.
I've played in many bands some great some we'll not so great and I've learned (now that I have my career) that I try to surround myself (in a musical sense) with people who love to play and get a high from being around others that do as well. Most of us in bands will not get signed, its just the way it is, so enjoy the ride and keep playing with cool people.

http://www.myspace.com/trippingwest

[Thunderhoof]

I am very fortunate enough to be playing with the most easying going two guys I have ever met. I have quit or become uninterested in projects due to ego's.

However let me state, that modest ego's are fine. I can't do ego, but I have been complimented and frankly it embarresses me. The only thing I want to do is entertain people. My brother on the other hand..whom is an excellent string player bass and guitar, all around knows how to handle it, but doesn't act like a pompuss ass like the people I am sure your refering to.

Now for me, say I meet another drummer at a venue, and he starts on the ego.."all about me attitude" I see what he can do, then ignore him completely if I am less than impressed...after he plays they most of the time ask. What did you think? And I enforce an ego deflation by saying...man it sounds like Joey Kramer or wow, I heard that in a Boy George song, and walk away.

But I never judge a guys art till he acts like an ass.

[DamoSyzygy]

How do you all deal with people like that? I'm still having trouble. Thanks!
I DONT, basically.

Well, truth be told it depends on the situation.

If its a famous player that Im hosting in clinic or helping out, I shrug it off and laugh at him/her about their arrogance later.

If its a local bunch of players, I thank my stars I was born with two competent legs, and wont hesitate to use them to walk away.

NOBODY is at a level where they feel they are allowed to be rude or belittling to other people. I have no time for ego-maniacs.

[arthurk1]

Just ignore them unless it's the bandleader of a paying gig! ha ha Once again, be nice, be on time, play your butt off, did I mention be nice, and you WILL go much further than the opposite!

[jer]

If its a famous player that Im hosting in clinic or helping out, I shrug it off and laugh at him/her about their arrogance later.


Spill it Damo, who was him and her?

:)

[metal overlord]

Luckily enough, my band is all easy going, fan loving friendly people.
Their the people who don't say "where awesome", instead they scream out to the crowd "...And we suck!".

We had our fair share of stubborn people, though. We've went through at least 6 bassists all complaining about how we're not playing what they want to play (Devil Wears Prada, Job For a Cowboy, Escape the Fate), about our extraordinary tour dates (2 shows in two different cities on the same day) and just a whole list of stuff.

[Vipercussionist]

How do you all handle the musicians (or anyone else) with the extemely large, universe-sized egos?

If you're in music, you are bound to run into musicians with some sort of ego problem. It now seems that for every two or three musicians I meet that have talent, that are are decent folks, I run into one or two that are egomaniacs who act like jerks.

How do you all deal with people like that? I'm still having trouble. Thanks!I tease them incessantly until they realize there's no way I can take them seriously like that.

Sometimes it makes for a BETTER relationship as they know I'm real and not just a push over.

[dale w miller]

How do you all handle the musicians (or anyone else) with the extemely large, universe-sized egos?

If you're in music, you are bound to run into musicians with some sort of ego problem. It now seems that for every two or three musicians I meet that have talent, that are are decent folks, I run into one or two that are egomaniacs who act like jerks.

How do you all deal with people like that? I'm still having trouble. Thanks!Realize they have a weakness they are covering up and move on with my life. Seriously, most of those people will not go many places and the few that happen to be in the circle of my town I would simply develop my own circle and avoid them like the plague.

It's like this... the guys in my high school who picked on the little guys were the football players who made 3rd Team All-County. The guy who ended up playing 8 years in the NFL and is a coach for the Jets was cool as hell.

[dale w miller]

If its a famous player that Im hosting in clinic or helping out, I shrug it off and laugh at him/her about their arrogance later.
Oh the stories I am sure you could tell. I have a few tour tales in my back pocket that a few friends have heard over the years.

[baz]

...I myself am guilty of being a little egotistical.

It makes up for my lack of talent.

However, being a lousy drummer with nothing more than weekend warrior grey ponytail garage band aspirations helps to keep my ego in check.

Barry

[diosdude]

I kick them out of the band. The number one thing that people should have for criteria for being in a band is attitude/ego. If someone rubs the band the wrong way, it's just not worth it no matter how talented they are. If the guy with the ego is paying me a check, however, as a pro, i'll do whatever s/he wants me to do.