Be a better drummer in 10 minutes?

[techristian]

Check the link below for a good laugh.

http://www.tornadochops.com/

This is like the diet programs that promise "Lose weight without exercise or changes in your diet."

The truth is that PRACTICE is the key to better drumming and not a 10 minute gimmick.

Most decent drummers , who already use good technique, know most of these "secrets".

Dan

http://teachmedrums.com

[Rich]

Ewww.... This just looks like a modified Viagra spam email....

[zambizzi]

You're not that dude from Nigeria who wants to use my bank account, are you?

[stasz]

These guys look legit... I mean look at those testimonials!!! I'm gonna go get my mom's credit card right now. ; )

But seriously, I just have to say, if there's some young drummer who reads this crap and honestly thinks there's some "secret" that everyone is keeping from him or her, it would be a shame. There is no big secret. Practice makes you better... the greatest drummers out there know it from experience.

[Garvin]

I like the part that tells you to chew gum in order to relax your upper torso, so you can blaze around the kit. Funny stuff...

[Wavelength]

Since when have tornados played drum solos... and who'd like to sound like that?

[Jeff Almeyda]

That guy has been around forever. He takes one concept that may actually be pretty good and he tries to make it into the end-all and be-all of everything. Before this it was heel-toe.

3,000 year old egyptian secrets? Give me a break.

[Muckster]

That guy has been around forever. He takes one concept that may actually be pretty good and he tries to make it into the end-all and be-all of everything. Before this it was heel-toe.

3,000 year old egyptian secrets? Give me a break.

Yeah, this guy is the American version of Jared Falk.

[aydee]

You're not that dude from Nigeria who wants to use my bank account, are you?

Yup, its him.







...............................

[TheGroceryman]

wait, i can be deaf but still learn the secret from a VIDEO? HOLY CRAP! magic

[zzdrummer]

A little known secret of how wearing sunglasses can increase your speed.
Why chewing gum makes you faster. It’s a proven fact that drummers bite down on their teeth when playing. This puts tension throughout the whole upper torso causing it to squeeze the brakes on your arms

Ohhh come on now, is that serious? And by the way chewing gum is still biting down and still causes tension, chewing gum will actually make you create tension, not relieve it! Sunglasses? 3,00 year old secret from Egypt? I totally needa get this program, before it gets limited!

[zambizzi]

Yup, its him.

Well, that bastard might have fooled me the first seven times, but I won't send him any money THIS time.

[aydee]

I totally needa get this program, before it gets limited!

Then you could Tornado all over your set..

[GRUNTERSDAD]

Bananarama? Go Gos?....DRUM LIKE AN EGYPTIAN....
Everyone, sing along. Hands out to the side palms down, and one...and two

[zzdrummer]

Then you could Tornado all over your set..

This has always been my dream, getting my drumstricks to move so fast in a circular motion that they destroy everything in their path.

[jeffwj]

Have you seen the price - $97!!!!!!

Jeff

[DestinationDrumming]

Have you seen the price - $97!!!!!!

Jeff

Yeah, but it does cure arthritis....I'm thinking of buying it for my Mum, she's nearly 80 and any cure for arthritis would go down great with her!

[GRUNTERSDAD]

I have watched so many videos from the great people on this site, and other videos from Youtube, that were/are free, that its almost insulting to come on here and try to sell something for 97.00 that will make me a tornado in ten minutes. I won't pay 97.00 for a ten minute video.

Here is another gimmick with the same ordering phone number.

http://www.ballisticdrums.com/special-reports/velocity_sticks.htm

And some more fine products.

http://www.ballisticdrums.com/special-reports/products.htm

I just love Google.

[zambizzi]

I have watched so many videos from the great people on this site, and other videos from Youtube, that were/are free, that its almost insulting to come on here and try to sell something for 97.00 that will make me a tornado in ten minutes. I won't pay 97.00 for a ten minute video.

Really? But think of all the time you'll save by becoming a tornado-like force of nature on your kit in ONLY 10 minutes!

Had I known this I wouldn't have put in those 2+ hrs. everyday...I feel like such a fool.

I am wondering, however, it there's a catch. Will my homeowner's insurance cover the damages of my ripping the roof off with the twisters I unleash? How about life insurance?

Oh...the downsides of learning the incredible secret...I'm still on the fence.

[jonescrusher]

Stupid people exist to to pay clever people.

[zzdrummer]

I am wondering, however, it there's a catch. Will my homeowner's insurance cover the damages of my ripping the roof off with the twisters I unleash? How about life insurance?

Oh...the downsides of learning the incredible secret...I'm still on the fence.

What About all my family members who will get killed instantly in the floors above me as I create such a force of wind upward from my basement?
I think we need this guy to tell us what level tornado we will be creating for safety reasons.

[zambizzi]

Stupid people exist to to pay clever people.

Oooh...I like that. I'm stealing that one.

[T.Underhill]

It is true, chewing gum does make you drum faster. As does drinking JP-8, snorting Smarties and making in your pants. This guy has been hacking this garbage for over 10 years that I can remember.

[GRUNTERSDAD]

It is true, chewing gum does make you drum faster. As does drinking JP-8, snorting Smarties and making in your pants. This guy has been hacking this garbage for over 10 years that I can remember.

That is absolutely hilarious. My stomach hurts from laughing

[Bob Smith]

It is true, chewing gum does make you drum faster. As does drinking JP-8, snorting Smarties and making in your pants. This guy has been hacking this garbage for over 10 years that I can remember.

Then again how much can you remeber after snothing alll those smarties anyway.

[Tutin]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and admit that I actually bought his video on independence after a friend suggested it to me. It was actually very interesting and had a lot of stuff to do with mental practice and techniques to accelerate your learning. I got some other stuff because he had some discounts for multiple purchases, but that was crap. This thing looks the same, but just so you know, the guy isn't all that bad. Though his voice is mind numbingly annoying.

If you don't believe me watch my polyrhythms video. A lot of it I learned from that Dvd.

I expect that the tornadochops system could work too well and actually cause natural disasters, because I'm starting growing more limbs due to my "iballistic independence" TM.

LULZ

T

[TopCat]

lets all chip in and see what this 'genius' has to offer. Has to be worthy of some lols.

[T.Underhill]

This guy's testimonial is the best, the picture alone cracks me up. "This 11 year old thinks it's the best!"

[Ben Tormey]

I was sceptical of this 10 minutes ago.

[Jon Cable]

But I can't chew AND drum at the same time...what can I do??? Do ya think he'll send my $97 back??? My head hurts........

[Bruce M. Thomson]

Sure likes the word Tornado a lot doesn't he.

[Aumni]

It sounds like a tornado... destroys your wallet and leaves minutes later with nothing but destruction in its wake.

[Muckster]

3,000 year old Egyptian "secret" - The aincient Egytians were awesome Jazz drummers!

The "Old Cleveland Jazz Cats" - turns out they are actually mummies that have come to life and settled in the Cleveland era determined to keep thier "secret" hidden in in old smokey jazz club until an annoying, media savy young man started selling thier ancient wisdom.

Hey, i think i have the next "Mummy" movie here. Can Brandon Frasier play drums?

[Ben Tormey]

The ancient Egyptians had awesome brutal death metal drummers, because I've listened to some Nile which I'm told is an authentic recreation of what Egyptian music would've been like, and it's ridiculous. Of course, reading guitar tabs written on papyrus using hieroglyphics is a pain.

A little known secret of how wearing sunglasses can increase your speed.

The secret Joe Morello does not want you to know.

[Garvin]

Hey, i think i have the next "Mummy" movie here. Can Brandon Frasier play drums?

LOL! Nice one... And no, he can't.

[Ben Tormey]

In ten minutes he can.

[stasz]

In ten minutes he can.

Darn, you beat me to it!!!

[zzdrummer]

Did you know there are 3 specific positions your elbows must be in relation to each tom… this is one of the most “jealously guarded speed secrets” professional drummer refuse to tell anyone. Fully Diagramed and Explained for the first time on VIDEO. You gotta see this

I can't believe Vinny C hasn't put a hit on this guy yet...

[Mediocrefunkybeat]

This guy's testimonial is the best, the picture alone cracks me up. "This 11 year old thinks it's the best!"

Looks like a young offender's mugshot...

[tomgrosset]

What's even more funny is that some people actually fall for this kinda stuff

[k3ng]

Gosh I wish I clicked this damn thing earlier... Funny as hell!! The amount of sarcastic humour you can derive from this is unlimited.

Imagine getting this video and then learning to tornado around your kit.. you could get a wrestling commentator to comment on your solos ..

'AND HERE IT COMES! HERE IT COMES ... IT'S THE TORNADO! OH MY GOSH! IT'S THE LEGENDARY TORNADO RIGHT THERE!'

[Ben Tormey]

What's even more funny is that some people actually fall for this kinda stuff

Tom, don't try and lie to us. We know you and Matt have been using these secret techniques at WFD competitions, you just don't want us lot getting in on it.

[hawk9290]

No, they can't be using at WFD, otherwise NAMM would get blown away with two tornadoes.

and now we know that buddy rich actually sucked, he just threatened the audience with a tornado if the didn't applaud.



Now offer me a drum dvd that tells me its bad, and I might believe it:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=yCzW4fVRViI

[techristian]

I thought you would all get a laugh....but wait there ......if you call in the next 10 minutes we will include the BONUS CD ....CHEWING GUM WHILE DRINKING COFFEE This is the really big secret that will turn those TORNADO CHOPS into ATOMIC CHOPS !!!

Dan

http://teachmedrums.com

[aruration]

Damn it I haven't made it, I was late 1 minute.
I've lost the Bonus CD! =[


Oh well at least I've discovered the secrets of drumming for only 97 bucks, lucky me!!!!!!

[Jon Cable]

I have released a dvd; it contains the secrets of the ancient INCA tribes drumming skills, secrets more than 6000 years old AND it includes the 300 Spartans paradiddle exercise AND how Vlad the impaler got offenders stuck on a pair of 5As AND that Buddy wasn't that good, he just looked like he was trying hard....just send $1,000,000 in cash to me, Big Jon Cable c/o The Bideawee Home for the faecally incontinent, DogsBreath Street, NuthahJason Town, Bernhardsville, England and I will send you not only this dvd but also one that makes every woman your personal servant [not guaranteed to be effective on my snarling wife!] AND the Ringo Starr Book of Rudiments! How can I not succeed??......

[Muckster]

I have released a dvd; it contains the secrets of the ancient INCA tribes drumming skills, secrets more than 6000 years old AND it includes the 300 Spartans paradiddle exercise AND how Vlad the impaler got offenders stuck on a pair of 5As AND that Buddy wasn't that good, he just looked like he was trying hard....just send $1,000,000 in cash to me, Big Jon Cable c/o The Bideawee Home for the faecally incontinent, DogsBreath Street, NuthahJason Town, Bernhardsville, England and I will send you not only this dvd but also one that makes every woman your personal servant [not guaranteed to be effective on my snarling wife!] AND the Ringo Starr Book of Rudiments! How can I not succeed??......

Don't waste your money on that crap.......when you could by my new "Aincient Summerian drumming secrets revealed" DVD as interpreted by an old "jazz cat from Cleveland. Only $19.95

[Styx]

magical 12” egg shaped pattern......WTF?!?!?!?!

[hawk9290]

Don't waste your money on that crap.......when you could by my new "Aincient Summerian drumming secrets revealed" DVD as interpreted by an old "jazz cat from Cleveland. Only $19.95

Better still I am releasing a GRAMMY AWARD WINNING DVD about drumming techniques lost ages ago when the twelve tribes of Israel split. One of these tribes, known to have been given the SKILL OF GOD was though to be lost, until an old East Coast cat rediscovered among other things this pioneering technique in drumming in 1827!
This technique is so righteous and powerful that anyone who witnesses it in use will EXPLODE. While it has been thought that God took a rest on the seventh day, he really spent this whole day developing the ULTIMATE SUPER-INSANE HAND OF GOD grip, the SIX-POINTED STAR layout all drums should be set up in, and the CROSS-STICK.
Now, you too can be like all those Gospel drummers who have chops that could KILL. They all learned from the SKILL OF GOD, and now for the low cost of $13.95 + S&H you could too. It only takes 31.93 seconds to learn, so call now!!!
(Shipping and Handling may include the second, first, or final coming of Christ. Please allow up to eternity for delivery).

[Jon Cable]

Better still I am releasing a GRAMMY AWARD WINNING DVD about drumming techniques lost ages ago when the twelve tribes of Israel split. One of these tribes, known to have been given the SKILL OF GOD was though to be lost, until an old East Coast cat rediscovered among other things this pioneering technique in drumming in 1827!
This technique is so righteous and powerful that anyone who witnesses it in use will EXPLODE. While it has been thought that God took a rest on the seventh day, he really spent this whole day developing the ULTIMATE SUPER-INSANE HAND OF GOD grip, the SIX-POINTED STAR layout all drums should be set up in, and the CROSS-STICK.
Now, you too can be like all those Gospel drummers who have chops that could KILL. They all learned from the SKILL OF GOD, and now for the low cost of $13.95 + S&H you could too. It only takes 31.93 seconds to learn, so call now!!!
(Shipping and Handling may include the second, first, or final coming of Christ. Please allow up to eternity for delivery).
God told me not to listen to you......but he also said that Buddy and Cozy are saving my seat at their table for when I get there.....

[Jon Cable]

Don't waste your money on that crap.......when you could by my new "Aincient Summerian drumming secrets revealed" DVD as interpreted by an old "jazz cat from Cleveland. Only $19.95
Those damn jazz cats just spoil it for us con merchants....

[techristian]

This has always been my dream, getting my drumstricks to move so fast in a circular motion that they destroy everything in their path.

Or you will take off like a helicopter !!!!

Dan

[Phat_Rolls]

I think by tornado chops they mean "complete disaster".

[Mediocrefunkybeat]

Or you will take off like a helicopter !!!!

Dan

Gives a whole new perspective on Arnie doesn't it? Just imagine if he had Tornado chops in 'Predator'. 'GET TO THE CHOP- oh wait... hang on. There we go.'

[Drumsword]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yCzW4fVRViI

LOL, THAT Guy Killed me..........Holy cow was that funny.

A buddy of mine got one of his ballistic double bass tapes about 8 years ago, he said a couple things were tangiable but no big secrets and now he sends him stuff every month that he has to send back.

[Drumsword]

I have released a dvd; it contains the secrets of the ancient INCA tribes drumming skills, secrets more than 6000 years old AND it includes the 300 Spartans paradiddle exercise AND how Vlad the impaler got offenders stuck on a pair of 5As AND that Buddy wasn't that good, he just looked like he was trying hard....just send $1,000,000 in cash to me, Big Jon Cable c/o The Bideawee Home for the faecally incontinent, DogsBreath Street, NuthahJason Town, Bernhardsville, England and I will send you not only this dvd but also one that makes every woman your personal servant [not guaranteed to be effective on my snarling wife!] AND the Ringo Starr Book of Rudiments! How can I not succeed??......

I left the money in a bag behind the rose bush beside the train station downtown across from the nursing home like you asked, in small unmarked bills. Now WHEN can expect my tape?

[rootheart]

10 minutes suck...Here is the secret of how to become a better drummer in only 5 minutes:
Just practise for 5 minutes: no matter what the hell you practise you then will be a better drummer than you was 5 minutes before. This is science proofed.
If you want to learn more about this my brandnew concept: It is absolutely FREE to order my DVD about this, in fact it is not being produced yet, but you can be the very first person to order it in advance, for FREE. Do not waste no time and order NOW, before your fellow home town drummers can play better than you. Don´t forget: ordering is absolutely FREE!!!!
:-)

[Drumsword]

How to become a better drummer in just 5 minutes:
Just practise for 5 minutes: no matter what the hell you practise you then will be a better drummer than you was 5 minutes before.
If you want to learn more about this my brandnew concept: It is absolutely FREE free to order my DVD, in fact it is not being produced yet, but you can be the very first person to order it in advance, for FREE. Do not waste no time and order NOW, before your fellow home town drummers can play better than you. Dont´t forget: ordering it is absolutely FREE!!!!

OK, Put me down for 2. How much is it?

[rootheart]

OK, Put me down for 2. How much is it?
Quotes:
"if you ask how much it is, you can not afford it, sir."
(Rolls Royce)
"It is as much as it is."
(Harley Davidson)
:-)

[Tylerdrums109]

lol dont waste money on things like this get professionally reviewed DVD's that this site and its posters recommend...such as JoJo Mayer's DVD...or Pat Petrillo's...thats where u will really learn from

[Drumsword]

Quotes:
"if you ask how much it is, you can not afford it, sir."
(Rolls Royce)
"It is as much as it is."
(Harley Davidson)
:-)


In that case put me down for 3, do you offer financing?

I got the dvd tornado drumming, and he's right. I now am tornadoing around the kit at about 3,500 RPM's (Revolutions per minute). I did however have to set up 5 more floor toms around me in a 360 deg fashion. I also had to get rid of my hi hat, and snare drum because I kept smashing into them. I am hoping to build it to, 4,500 RPM's with another 10 minutes of practice. The only problem is now I am spinning like a tornado gone wild but I'm so, Freakin dizzy I am only hitting 1 drum in 10 so my BPM's are done to like 20. I also have to see a chiropractor now, because I'm pretty sure I slipped every disc at this point too.

Next up I'm setting my drums up on either the tilt a whirl or the water slide at the carnival and trying my hand at playing then.

[Ian Williams]

Hi, fellows.

What an amazing cock and bull story.

All the Best,

[Muckster]

I'll just have to settle for "slightly breezy" chops.

[jay norem]

dude, buck nelson rools!!!!! everything i need to no about rok druming i lerned from watching that video. awesum!!!!

[Mediocrefunkybeat]

This guy's other videos endorse Joe Stronsick's products. Joe Stronsick is a scammer, a famous one and has been doing it for years.

This is, however, a gem.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ko6KVdpy3cw

[Jon Cable]

lol dont waste money on things like this get professionally reviewed DVD's that this site and its posters recommend...such as JoJo Mayer's DVD...or Pat Petrillo's...thats where u will really learn from

How dare you decry my dvd Sir?? I can guarantee that Mr Mayer and Mr Petrillo learned everything they know from my materials....AND I showed those fools at NASA how to get man on the moon [or did they?] and....oh, sorry, gotta go..the nurse says my internet time is finishe.............

[Vintagedrummer]

Please,

I have a DVD that comes with personal training from Pamela Anderson herself. She will show you everything she learned from Tommy Lee wearing anything you wish. I bet you won't even last 10 minutes but you won't care. Act now & I'll toss in a bonus dvd 'Secrets from Beyond' where you will learn how to channel all the great dead drummer's.

Remember, act now. Pamela & the Dead....Kind'a makes that tornado dvd look like a tomato. Improve your skills NOW!

Peace

[er1c]

When I saw the title of this thread I was expecting to have some laughs... but sure not this much... This thread deserves to become sticky one. I must say that some of you shoud consider becoming stand-up comedians. Hilarious thread.. goes to my favorites definitely.