What would you do?

[Lynchie]

About 5 or so years ago a fellow dad was talking about getting his son a drumset but didn't want to invest alot of money not knowing if his son would get into it or not. I mentioned that I was remodeling my basement and he could borrow my Ludwig Classics/Zildjian cymbals etc. (a full set) until my basement was finished. Well...my basement project took a long time...no big deal to me and the boy ended up really liking the drums. The boy went off into the Army and the dad said I could get the drums back and I did (like I said...about 5 years later). Other than the normal wear and tear they looked fine however, an 18" K Zildjian was missing. I asked the dad about it and he didn't know where it was. He offered to pay but I said I'd wait awhile and maybe it'd turn up. Some of my friends said to just write it off and be glad I got the drums back. Should I just chock it up to a lessons learned or pursue payback. Thoughts?

[mrchattr]

About 5 or so years ago a fellow dad was talking about getting his son a drumset but didn't want to invest alot of money not knowing if his son would get into it or not. I mentioned that I was remodeling my basement and he could borrow my Ludwig Classics/Zildjian cymbals etc. (a full set) until my basement was finished. Well...my basement project took a long time...no big deal to me and the boy ended up really liking the drums. The boy went off into the Army and the dad said I could get the drums back and I did (like I said...about 5 years later). Other than the normal wear and tear they looked fine however, an 18" K Zildjian was missing. I asked the dad about it and he didn't know where it was. He offered to pay but I said I'd wait awhile and maybe it'd turn up. Some of my friends said to just write it off and be glad I got the drums back. Should I just chock it up to a lessons learned or pursue payback. Thoughts?

I would have him ask his son when the opportunity arises. It may have just been left somewhere (like a friend's, or somewhere that you can get it back easily). Or, it may be gone. I would NOT just chalk it up to a lesson learned, though. You gave the person a kit for 5 years, for no charge...but the idea of you actually LOSING something to help someone out is, to me, ridiculous.

[GRUNTERSDAD]

I f he asked you if he could replace it, I would have to say yes. Its a small price to pay for a 5 year loan

[Lynchie]

I would have him ask his son when the opportunity arises. It may have just been left somewhere (like a friend's, or somewhere that you can get it back easily). Or, it may be gone. I would NOT just chalk it up to a lesson learned, though. You gave the person a kit for 5 years, for no charge...but the idea of you actually LOSING something to help someone out is, to me, ridiculous.

Yes. I did loan the person my kit for free for 5 years. I asked the dad to check with his Army son, who's deployed overseas somewhere, if he might have just stashed it somewhere. I don't know if the dad will remember to bring up this cymbal topic. I guess I'll let a little time pass then inquire again. That cymbal wasn't cheap. His son did buy a wuhan 18" china that his dad gave me but it has a big crack in it. maybe his son traded my cymal for it but my cymbal is worth far more than that Wuhan!

[maddrummr]

I think that he might have cracked it and is not willing to admit it.

[lewisn27]

i think you should wait a while and see if it turns up but if it doesn't and if he acepts to pay you or replace it i would accept the offer.

[aydee]

Well, I think you all have been pretty gentlemanly up until now so why change..

5 years is a long time, and stuff happens to stuff.. lost, misplaced, stolen, stored & forgotten..etc.. maybe it'll show up maybe it wont.

I don't know what I would do if I were you but if I was the kid's dad, I would certainly offer ( and insist ) that I compensate you in some manner.

[DogBreath]

I f he asked you if he could replace it, I would have to say yes. Its a small price to pay for a 5 year loan
Agreed. .

[burnthehero]

If it were up to me, I would just let it go. If you had let somebody borrow a cymbal for a recording session or a gig and they broke it, then by all means get a replacement. But 5 years is a long time and a lot can happen.

[Deltadrummer]

What was it about? Wasn't it about turning the kid on to the drums?

After five years you got the kit back. That seems to be a miracle in itself. Did you really expect it would return to you as it was? anything could have happened.

If it were such a bid deal. You would have taken the him up on the offer to replace the cymbal. What is it a ten year old cymbal? If it turns up, it turns up. Why make such a big deal out of it now?

[Jeremy Bender]

I've got to agree with Deltadrummer. One other thing, a crash cymbal that was loaned out five years ago is nothing compared to what a soldier is going through during time of war. Pray for his safe return home. When he does get back, maybe he'll be able to rekindle his interest in drumming !

[DogBreath]

What is it a ten year old cymbal? If it turns up, it turns up. Why make such a big deal out of it now?
What kind of logic is that? I borrow something from you and then I lose it, so I say to you, "Hey, it was old anyway. What's the big deal?"

If a friend borrows something from me for one day or five years, when he returns it it is going to be in reasonably good condition or he isn't much of a friend. If I borrow your car I don't return it with a missing tire or a broken windshield. And for that matter I'll probably wash it and fill the gas tank.If I borrow your drumset and I lose a cymbal, I offer to replace it. Anything less is very poor behavior.

Lynchie, your friend did offer to replace the cymbal and you said that it would be alright to wait awhile to see if it turned up. If it doesn't, I assume the offer stands. You were a good friend to loan his son the kit, and he'll be a good friend by replacing the missing cymbal.

[balboa]

i wouldnt worry about it much. Personally, i wouldnt have loaned out a drum kit in the first place maybe because im not as trusting as you, or i wouldve loaned him something that i wouldnt care if it got damaged. but anyway, get back what you can, and maybe take the loss. i wouldnt let the fact that hes a soldier change your attitude about it, a loan is a loan but, a friendship is also important too, dont ruin anything over a drum set you didnt miss for 5 years. good luck man

[danander11]

If I borrow your car I don't return it with a missing tire or a broken windshield. And for that matter I'll probably wash it and fill the gas tank.If I borrow your drumset and I lose a cymbal, I offer to replace it. Anything less is very poor behavior.


Wanna borrow my car for a while? It's looking a bit manky.. ;-)

(chuckle)

[Deltadrummer]

What kind of logic is that? I borrow something from you and then I lose it, so I say to you, "Hey, it was old anyway. What's the big deal?"

If a friend borrows something from me for one day or five years, when he returns it it is going to be in reasonably good condition or he isn't much of a friend. If I borrow your car I don't return it with a missing tire or a broken windshield. And for that matter I'll probably wash it and fill the gas tank.If I borrow your drumset and I lose a cymbal, I offer to replace it. Anything less is very poor behavior.

Lynchie, your friend did offer to replace the cymbal and you said that it would be alright to wait awhile to see if it turned up. If it doesn't, I assume the offer stands. You were a good friend to loan his son the kit, and he'll be a good friend by replacing the missing cymbal.

If someone borrows something, one should expect that it be returned in proper condition. But I was reading into what he was saying and that was that if the cymbal turns up, he wants it back; but he didn't feel it was such a big deal at the time to ask his friend to replace it when his friend offered.

In a court of law if you lose something or break it, you are not responsible for the replacement of the object, You are responsible for the value of the object at the time of the lose. A ten year old cymbal, even a K, does not have the value of a new cymbal. A friend might want to replace the item if lost, but a friend would also probably look the other way on an item that was lost, esp after five years.

[Late Bloomer]

This is why I am reluctant to lend things of value out these days. In the past, stuff lent out to family often comes back buggered. I am very choosey who I lend stuff to now.

[Mediocrefunkybeat]

Ask for the replacement. I'm sure this guy's Dad is a reasonable guy, he sounds very reasonable.

[Salicete]

It seems to me that the issue is bothering you, so let him compensate you for the cymbal; you will both likely feel better that the matter is settled.

If the original cymbal turns up, you can just give him the money back and reclaim it, or just let him keep it if you prefer.

As a sidebar-

I own a 1977 Fender Precision bass that my parents bought new for me way back in, you guessed it, 1977.

It was pristine, (I mean dead mint, as new) until I loaned it to someone I thought I could trust. It came back with big raking scratch marks all across the pick guard and front of the body from this idiot doing windmills a’la Pete Townsend with a pick in his hand.

Can’t be fixed, to refinish it would destroy the value further; I just had to suck it up.

NEVER loan out anything you can’t afford to loose or care about very much.

[battleconvention]

A wise person once told me when you lend something out, you should never expect to get it back.