I get way too upset when I'm practicing.

[DrummerFry]

Whenever I'm practicing something and I'm not getting it right, I go ballistic. I'm mean like screaming at the top of my lungs, throwing things, cursing, pretty much in a rage and by the time it's over, I'm too to stressed and tired to start again. : (
Does this happen to anyone else here?

[fourstringdrums]

Frustration is normal but anger/rage like that isn't. I suggest to you talk to a professional about it. It sounds like something that goes beyond frustration in practice.

[bojangleman]

calm down and start over. no one is perfect. and yes..if you get that irate over something you cant get right then, you need to talk to someone...if you were to not get mad and keep precticing, by the time you would be done throwing a fit. you might have that part down..

Alex

[JoePorter]

#1 Rule of Practice. You must practice slowly. If you don't get something, slow it down and in no time you'll have it.

[DestinationDrumming]

I bet you're a dream to live with!

When things are not going well I do one of two things work harder, slow down and refuse to let this beat me........or walk away for a while and come back refreshed.

Shouting and screeming will not solve anything and will not make you a better drummer. It might have the effect that those around you will make it difficult for you to practice. To persevere and to deal with the frustrations of becoming a better musician whatever stage you are at shows a sign of maturity!

Next time it happens just walk away and calm down and then give it another go. I've been playing just over 2 years and still find things that frustrate the hell out of me and I know I have a very, very, very long way to go to even get a little good but it's a journey and I'm on the same road as Neil Peart, John Bonham Keith Moon and the like...granted they are a few miles ahead of me but we're all on the same road.

Take it easy on yourself and you'll get there in the end....just be patient!

[DrummerFry]

It's just that I feel I've been playing long enough to be able get certain things, and it's so frustrating because recently my family just moved and I didn't have my drum set with me for about 4 months so I wasn't practicing. I just got it back and started playing again and everything is so wrong. Things that I used to be able to do very well, I can barely execute correctly. It's like I take steps forward, and then something throws me back. I think thats what I'm frustrated about. And I've always been a little too hard on myself. Everybody tells me(and not my family but other musicians and my drum teachers)that I play well and that I'm good, but I still find it hard to believe them. I am a very nice person( and a dream to live with,lol) but when it comes drumming lately it's been bringing the worst out of me.

[fourstringdrums]

It's just that I feel I've been playing long enough to be able get certain things, and it's so frustrating because recently my family just moved and I didn't have my drum set with me for about 4 months so I wasn't practicing. I just got it back and started playing again and everything is so wrong. Things that I used to be able to do very well, I can barely execute correctly. It's like I take steps forward, and then something throws me back. I thinks thats what I'm frustrated about. And I've always been a little too hard on myself. Everybody tells me(and not my family but other musicians and my drum teachers)that I play well and that I'm good, but I still find it hard to believe them. I am a very nice person( and a dream to live with,lol) but when it comes drumming lately it's been bringing the worst out of me.

We all have times like that where we're just not getting things we think we should get, or we're just playing lousy. Of course if you haven't played for 4 months you're going to go backwards a little. Some people may not be that way, but some are. Take comfort in the fact that these things you're working on you WERE once able to do, and now you just have to find your way back to them.

Take a look at my website www.handidrummed.com (http://www.handidrummed.com) (I'm listed under the Drummers section under Rob Richard). I don't mean to have you look at it as sort of a guilt trip "why am I complaining?" thing, but more as inspiration. Not just on my site but there are drummers all over who find things with playing the drums difficult for one reason or another, even things they used to be able to do, but they just relax and move forward. Me personally, I've been VERY frustrated lately because ever since it got colder, I feel like my muscles are more tense lately, and I'm just not playing comfortably. I have days where I can't play a basic 4/4 Eighth note groove without feeling awkward. Also because of problems with my right foot, I've had a hard time getting ideas out of my head because I either can't execute the bass part at all or it just doesn't feel right. I get very frustrated some days, but that's when I step away from the kit for a day, or two, or three. Listen to music, watch DVD's, and just focus on the goal that I want to achieve, and that allows me to move forward, even if sometimes I don't progress much at all.

[jonescrusher]

Sounds like a self-confidence issue.

[Paradiddlemadness]

Hey bro - you just need to chill out and relax. Your body needs to learn and develop muscle memory, so you need to start what you are trying to practice slowly, and gradually speed up. Remember that drumming is all about fun, and being a ball of stress is no fun at all ! :-)

You will find that after a while when you develop certain things, other things will come to you easier because there will be some degree of similarity (eg. 5 stroke rolls and 7 stroke rolls).

Remember, your mind is great at telling your body what it can and can't do, so it is important to keep a positive attitude (and be really patient!)

I hope it works out for you :-)

[Paradiddlemadness]

Also, just quickly - drummer's are (and should be) their own worst critic. That's how we improve :-) Just make sure you set yourself realistic and achievable goals otherwise there will never be that light at the end of the tunnel.

[nhzoso]

I have been known to throw a drumstick or 2 in the past but thats about as far as I have gone.

What I do now is I take the anger , then a deep breath, and ridiculously slow down whatever I am trying to do and I mean ridiculously slow and then do it. Then slowly increase it 5bpm till it's comfy before moving on. You will be surprised how fast you end up getting it down at normal speed. Before you know it you are at ludicrous (spelling) speed.

[burnthehero]

Sometimes your instrument is better than you. That's just how it goes. I went for about 5 months without practicing and when I started up again, I was a total mess. I didn't even want to practice because I knew I would just be disappointed. But I pushed through it and I'm starting to get back on track. And as others have said...SLOW IT DOWN. Play slow and pay attention to your movements until you have it mastered. Only then is it a good idea to start speeding up. Your muscles just need to be retrained how to move and react.

[GRUNTERSDAD]

STEP AWAY FROM THE DRUM SET. Man these things are supposed to be fun. If you aren't having fun try the flute. Slow down take a deep breath and relax.

[ZildjianMan1023]

It's just that I feel I've been playing long enough to be able get certain things, and it's so frustrating because recently my family just moved and I didn't have my drum set with me for about 4 months so I wasn't practicing. I just got it back and started playing again and everything is so wrong. Things that I used to be able to do very well, I can barely execute correctly. It's like I take steps forward, and then something throws me back. I think thats what I'm frustrated about. And I've always been a little too hard on myself. Everybody tells me(and not my family but other musicians and my drum teachers)that I play well and that I'm good, but I still find it hard to believe them. I am a very nice person( and a dream to live with,lol) but when it comes drumming lately it's been bringing the worst out of me.

hey man, ive been playing the drums for a few years and theres still thousands of things i still have yet to master.. if i get frustrated behind the kit i either A. asses what im doing wrong,.. and if i still am not doing to well or am frustrated i just simply walk away for a few days


id rather cool off for a few days to a week rather than break a cymbal

[bojangleman]

yep..same here...ive been known to get worse..but not over drumming.

I have been known to throw a drumstick or 2 in the past but thats about as far as I have gone.


Alex

[DestinationDrumming]

It's like I take steps forward, and then something throws me back. I think thats what I'm frustrated about..

Ah, I can empathise with you at the moment. I too am on a big step back....but I'm still on the road and with a bit more dedicated practice (in my case) I know the forwards momentum will come in time.

Have a look at Nutha's lessons he's just posted about (Not sure what level you are up to!). That way you won't need a kit and can still get some practice in.

I am a very nice person( and a dream to live with,lol) but when it comes drumming lately it's been bringing the worst out of me.

Nice to hear it!

[LiveGoat]

There's a lot to rage about, especially here in NYC, but you shouldn't let it get in your way.
I would suggest getting that rage in check ASAP. Forgive me if I'm prying, but do you have moments like this in other aspects of your life? I ask because having bouts of rage was a longtime problem for me (and still has that potential). If this is a a common thing for you then please get in check because it can have a serious adverse effect on your life. I've lost friends and girlfriends, broken up artistic partnerships, and gotten myself blacklisted in certain theatrical circles because of this problem. For me it all came down to self esteem or a lack of self esteem. I never thought I was good enough, as a drummer, as an actor, or as anything. And while my fits of anger were always directed at myself and my dissapointment with myself, they nevertheless caused fear and concern in the people around me. In other words, people will think you are crazy. And while they may have sympathy for you and want to help, they will NEVER want to work with you again.

Your angry because you care and while that's good, you have to redirect it and focus it in a practical way. One more thing. There's this idea that being a drummer is like being an athlete. Striving for excellence and all that crap. Well that's what it is: crap. You'll improve when you're ready to improve. Just keep practicing and when you make a mistake, just move on and give it another pass when your ready. You're only gonna get better, never worse. Giving in to rage will only make you bitter and lonely in the long run.

--LG







Whenever I'm practicing something and I'm not getting it right, I go ballistic. I'm mean like screaming at the top of my lungs, throwing things, cursing, pretty much in a rage and by the time it's over, I'm too to stressed and tired to start again. : (
Does this happen to anyone else here?

[DrummerFry]

I definitely have self-confidence issues and low self-esteem as a musician. I'm always convinced that everything I play doesn't sound good, and having that set back wasn't what I needed. The anger when practicing issue has just been happening recently and it mostly correlate with the things I've mentioned. I guess I wanna be good too badly or even perfect and kinda lost sight of that fact that there's a lot of patience that goes into this.

[Paradiddlemadness]

Also it helps to remember that drumming isn't a competition. To me it's like a game of golf. When I go out to play, I only go out to better my last score - actually that's a bad analogy as I have been known to throw a club before! haha

[Vic_Rattledeth]

If you hadn't played for 4 months of coarse you're going to be rusty. I reccomend instead of trying to jump back to where you were previously to practice single strokes and simples things for about a week and get your chops back up, then you'll be able to execute these things again.

[Pete Stoltman]

Lots of good responses to you so far. My take is that the most valuable ones have to do with your anger issue. I've had some experience with that myself (surprisingly not related to drumming) and find that getting into a pattern of rage is an extremely destructive force. It can overwhelm anything else that you try to do. I'm not necessarily saying that you have to drop everything and go to a shrink but I believe that you will find addressing this issue is a very positive step in achieving whatever your goals are drumming or otherwise. Don't think you're a bad person or some kind of weirdo it's just something that has to be looked at and make some changes to put you on the right track. Good luck and hang in there. If you're as smart as I think you are (given your willingness to admit to a problem) you'll do the right thing. The sooner you start working on it the sooner you'll be able to fix it.

[zambizzi]

I've got a fairly volatile temper, myself, and as you probably already know - it gets you nothing. In fact, it gets you less than nothing...it takes away from the quality of life. I attribute it to growing up fast and hard and some of the influences in my formative years...to make a long story short. Also, I think passionate, creative people have a greater tendency to be volatile.

Strangely, drumming and music is the one thing where I have infinite patience and control and since I've been drumming religiously for the past year...I'm more patient all-around...it's dramatically improved my temperament.

Anyhow, while it's easy to be angry sometimes, especially when you run out of patience w/ whatever you're doing, you have to be the better man and keep it in check. Realize that you're only stepping backwards by flying off the handle. Be cool, step back, and calmly analyze what you're doing wrong. Gradually do it slower until you do it correctly...get comfortable with it...and speed it up, if necessary.

[razorx]

Whenever I'm practicing something and I'm not getting it right, I go ballistic. I'm mean like screaming at the top of my lungs, throwing things, cursing, pretty much in a rage and by the time it's over, I'm too to stressed and tired to start again. : (
Does this happen to anyone else here?

yea sad to say it happens all the time at my house......me and my dad both have a tendacy to go nuts when we mess up or when ever something breaks.

[Styx]

I like to use the 3 P's

Practice
Patience
Perseverance

[jay norem]

Don't get upset when you're playing music! Just cool out and enjoy playing what you're good at playing. Do all you can with that. It's the best way to get better. And a great deal more fun.

[brittc89]

Don't get upset when you're playing music! Just cool out and enjoy playing what you're good at playing. Do all you can with that. It's the best way to get better. And a great deal more fun.

BUt when practicing, shouldnt you be focused on what youre bad at playing? Wouldnt that be the best way to get better?

[DamoSyzygy]

Whenever I'm practicing something and I'm not getting it right, I go ballistic. I'm mean like screaming at the top of my lungs, throwing things, cursing, pretty much in a rage and by the time it's over, I'm too to stressed and tired to start again. : (
Does this happen to anyone else here?

Frustration is good because you SHOULD be using your practise time to work on the things you cannot play. How you deal with it is another matter altogether. Remember, the better you learn to deal with your frustration, the better you focus. The better you focus, the quicker you overcome those frustrations.

[Meditative Drumz]

You are training your body to make unnatural movements BE natural. Of course, this process is going to be frustrating at first. Like others have said, SLOW the tempo of what you are working on WAY DOWN, so slow that you are barely moving. Then observe your body and the coordination thereof. If you can't play it slow, there is not a chance you can play it fast (or you might play it fast, but it will be not what you meant).

[veggo32]

I don't know what level or how good you are but this could be a positive thing! think of it in these terms, you haven't played for months so your rusty. Ok. think back, were you perfect then, probably not. So, what you should focus on first is not how many bpm's you have lost, rudiments and getting your speed is secondary. (that's what is frustrating you!)

First, get comfortable on your kit again, make sure you are relaxed and your posture and your grip and your set up is good for you Play along to music that you like I mean really get into it, if you can't scrap it and go to another tune etc. What I'm trying to say is you have to get your grooooooove back!
Open your mind to new opportunities, start exploring other genres, jazz for instance now there's a challenge.
When you retrieve your groove and you will I guarantee you will! You will get this internal sensation that you are not only on your way back but you will be better because you have reflected in the last four months, you have been waiting for this moment a long time enjoy it!
You should be rejoicing this is a fresh (re)start! This is a chance to distinguish bad habits that you have incurred in the past..You are fortunate to be in a position to play drums embrace it! have fun dude!

[aydee]

There's a lot to rage about, especially here in NYC, but you shouldn't let it get in your way.
I would suggest getting that rage in check ASAP. Forgive me if I'm prying, but do you have moments like this in other aspects of your life? I ask because having bouts of rage was a longtime problem for me (and still has that potential). If this is a a common thing for you then please get in check because it can have a serious adverse effect on your life. I've lost friends and girlfriends, broken up artistic partnerships, and gotten myself blacklisted in certain theatrical circles because of this problem. For me it all came down to self esteem or a lack of self esteem. I never thought I was good enough, as a drummer, as an actor, or as anything. And while my fits of anger were always directed at myself and my dissapointment with myself, they nevertheless caused fear and concern in the people around me. In other words, people will think you are crazy. And while they may have sympathy for you and want to help, they will NEVER want to work with you again.

Your angry because you care and while that's good, you have to redirect it and focus it in a practical way. One more thing. There's this idea that being a drummer is like being an athlete. Striving for excellence and all that crap. Well that's what it is: crap. You'll improve when you're ready to improve. Just keep practicing and when you make a mistake, just move on and give it another pass when your ready. You're only gonna get better, never worse. Giving in to rage will only make you bitter and lonely in the long run.

--LG

Good that you posted this, Goat, and recognizing it is half the battle.
I think a lot of people dont even begin to realize that they have a problem..and this is a serious problem.

Self acceptance at the least with yourself, even if not self-esteem, is so critical in everyday life, and without it you could damage everything and everyone near and dear to you.

As Goat said its always directed inwards, but nobody else can see that. All they see is a person they dont want to deal with.

As for practice, follow what the great mountaineers always say " never look at the peak. Just put one foot in front of the next, and keeping walking steady. You will get there before you know it".

[Wavelength]

Before I start playing, I like to "become one" with the instrument: I slowly and carefully go through each part of the kit, moving from one drum to another, remembering what playing with control and relaxation should feel like. I play singles and doubles around the drums, again, with relaxation and control. I want to feel the drums, feel how the drums react to my sticks and how the sticks react to my hands. It's like I'm getting acquainted with my "other half", trying to zone in on it with all of my senses.

When I'm practicing, I try to extrapolate the same feeling into the exercise: it should be easy, effortless, relaxed, controlled, natural. If it's not, I need to slow it down and I need to analyze the particular problem more carefully. Sometimes I need to move forward one stroke or subdivision at a time -- sometimes I can jump right into playing the exercise at a slowish tempo. Practicing with a good spirit even at a ridiculously slow tempo is always more efficient than trying too hard, failing miserably and subsequently getting frustrated, angry and losing focus.

[aydee]

Before I start playing, I like to "become one" with the instrument: I slowly and carefully go through each part of the kit, moving from one drum to another, remembering what playing with control and relaxation should feel like. I play singles and doubles around the drums, again, with relaxation and control. I want to feel the drums, feel how the drums react to my sticks and how the sticks react to my hands. It's like I'm getting acquainted with my "other half", trying to zone in on it with all of my senses.
.

Wave, you sure you are'nt part Indian? Finndian? ; )

What you describe is a very Indian approach to their instruments. ( ...unlike me, I'm part Indian and not a good example anyway... ).

The Indian music culture/idiom holds great reverence for its instruments, and for the time spent and the state of mind involved while playing the instument.

The players, even when they practice , put themselves in a very prayerful and meditative state to do precisely what you say- try and become one with the instrument. And as you say, they begin slowly,and the atmosphere is all about relaxation and control... and one more thing -focus.

While this is going on, you just look into their eyes and you can see that they are possessed and totally focused on the musical moment.

I think its a great approach to playing. A heck of a lot better than quaffing a couple of beers with the girls at the bar and then getting up on the bandstand.

There is no room for angst and frustration in this kind of metal state. In most cultures, music is a about a connection with the spirit, and if you focus on that, you might be gentler on yourself.

And discover a side of you, that you might really like!

[Jeff Almeyda]

Before I start playing, I like to "become one" with the instrument: I slowly and carefully go through each part of the kit, moving from one drum to another, remembering what playing with control and relaxation should feel like. I play singles and doubles around the drums, again, with relaxation and control. I want to feel the drums, feel how the drums react to my sticks and how the sticks react to my hands. It's like I'm getting acquainted with my "other half", trying to zone in on it with all of my senses.



I think this is a brilliant approach. I like to balance the technical/refined side of my playing with the organic/raw side and this is a nice tool for that.

[Resok]

Whenever I'm practicing something and I'm not getting it right, I go ballistic. I'm mean like screaming at the top of my lungs, throwing things, cursing, pretty much in a rage and by the time it's over, I'm too to stressed and tired to start again. : (
Does this happen to anyone else here?

Then you're not gonna get any better, are you?

[PQleyR]

Then you're not gonna get any better, are you?

That's not very helpful...

[Chonson]

That's not very helpful...

It's no less helpful than screaming and throwing stuff until you're too stressed to keep playing.

It's just drums. It's not war. You need to be relaxed and confident behind the kit. Some days, this is a real challenge. Other days, not as much. But if you're putting the kind of pressure on yourself that results in extreme outbursts, you're not going to be in a place that you can relax, have the freedom to make mistakes and learn what you're trying to learn.

There's nothing wrong with not getting something right. It's generally something you want to avoid in the studio or while performing, but in the practice room? No big deal. In fact, if you're not making mistakes in your practice room, you're not pushing yourself hard enough.

Let it flow, let these things happen and keep your ears open... sometimes the mistakes you make can lead you in a very interesting direction. When you make a mistake you're probably on the verge of learning something.

And messing up on stuff you know? If it's something you know well, there's nothing you can do but laugh it off. If it's something you kind of know, it's just a signal that you probably need to work on it more. And if it's mistakes due to carelessness, then stop, and pay attention to everything you're doing.

If you have these kind of outbursts frequently, you should seek professional help.